Thursday, May 14th, 2009
I have been a great advocate of positive thinking for many years. I think that people can certainly think themselves into the doldrums (along with a bit of encouragement from the media!). I love reading motivational books, and listening to mp3′s about this subject too. Likewise I enjoy entrepreneurial literature. Very inspiring. I would suggest that all successful ‘ladies’ have the entrepreneurial gene :) I was talking with Mr P the other day and we got to discussing ‘things happening for a reason’ and so on. He shared with me his philosophy on life, which was not a million miles away from mine. I was then delighted to recommend a book to him.
The Secret
Shhhhh, its a secret. Actually no its not, you can get it via Amazon. Not sure where Mr P bought his but he is over the moon with it. Dont you find that when you mix with positive people, you get a buzz back? I know I do. It works the other way too; When you mix with negative people (I call them negatrons) they can drag you down.
So I like to surround myself with positive people and I like to feed my mind with this stuff too. Another book I read a while ago and one you may find interesting is this one; The Power of Positive Thinking
I’ve just ordered 4 new books, I have quite a library on the subject, I dont think I will ever get bored of it.
So the thought for today folks, is be happy, think positive and say yes a few times – does that sound too ‘happy clappy’? :)
Oh, I was reading through some old travel journals of mine and this message was on one of the pages. I must have seen it somewhere far away, liked it and wrote it down. Im glad I did :), I’ll share it with you… x
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO what a ride!’

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Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

Do you remember this pic? I took it last year I think, with a point and shoot camera whilst looking in the mirror and no bra involved – just a latex dress. Puppies spring to mind. This is one of those outfits that has to be confined to the boudoir and has never,
ever seen the light of day. I
am a laydee dont you know! (well in public anyway ;) Now, as you very well know, I like to keep abreast (groan!) of all things saucy, and as I have already addressed and discussed briefly the needs of the
bum man, here’s a little piece you may find fascinating if your thing is…
Breastology
An Essay
by Wayne Wallace
Breasts, boobs, tits, hooters, yahoos, yabbas, knockers, chi-chi’s, ta-ta’s, mammaries, and any number of other names have given to those beautiful symbols of female sexuality over the years. I love breasts. In fact, I have made an exhaustive, personal study of the female breast for the better part of forty-five years. I am, and always have been, a member of that elite group of men who are known as “boob-menâ€. (I suppose that in the interest of political correctness I should acknowledge here that there are probably a number of women who might fall into this category as well, effectively changing the term to “boob-personsâ€).
During this forty-five year period, I have been engaged in an avid study of the female breast. I don’t feel that my study of breasts is an obsession, for I am able to function in society without too many embarrassing incidents concerning the observation and study of the twin mounds. I must, however, plead guilty to my wife’s accusation of always beginning a visual inspection of any woman, with an appraising look at her breasts. Call this sexist if you like, call me a chauvinist pig, but this is honestly where my attention is focused and where the majority of my interest lies.
Of course, other areas of female anatomy appeal to me as well. For example, a beautiful face is certainly an attention getter, or a nicely shaped butt in a tight pair of jeans has been known to turn my head. I appreciate a shapely pair of long legs as much as the next guy, but, as I am enjoying and appreciating these attributes, rest assured that I have already checked out the boobs! For me, these other enhancements merely add to the total package that the breasts headline.
The ultimate objective of most men (the hell with political correctness!) is of course that taco shaped universe that women sit upon, and around which, most men’s lives seem to revolve. That part of the anatomy that has as many pet names as do the breasts, ‘the crown jewel†also has my admiration and respect. However, the study of, the usage of, or the mere observation of this area requires far more time, commitment and risk than does the study of the female breast. The study of the human breast is much more easily accomplished. Some tact must be used when observing the female breast during “field studiesâ€. Blatant, open-mouthed, drooling stares, though not totally unheard of in my studies, are not considered gentlemanly behavior and certainly not in the best interest of the science of Breastology.
If one is discovered, observing the breast in its natural habitat, it is best to be discovered by the observee, than either by your spouse or the observee’s spouse or significant other. The reason for this is the reaction of the various parties involved. The reaction of your spouse is likely to be a punch and a “you never look at me like that†line. The reaction of a rival male in this situation could be like that of a bull elk in one of those nature documentaries with all that head butting and antler rattling, etc. The reaction of the subject being studied, usually, at its worst, merely results in a hand being placed on the neck of a low cut dress or an arm being pulled up to obscure the view of the breasts. The most desirable reaction, although rare, is the willing smile directed at the observing “boob-personâ€.
I have often wondered why I have this “pointed†interest in the female breast. It could be related to the fact that I was a breast fed baby and consequently, my earliest memories of the female breast conjure up such thoughts as nourishment, pacification, security, warmth, etc. Assuming that this was the starting place for my interest and study, Junior High School certainly had to be the Basic Training Grounds of the science for me.
While puberty is changing a young man’s voice, causing acne problems and growing hair in previously barren areas, thoughts of breasts provide the necessary fantasy material needed for his struggle with sexual maturity. I can remember being in 4th hour math class, staring at Mary Ann Mosely’s boobs, and daydreaming. My sadistic math teacher, Miss Groffman, an old spinster woman of about 75, and by the way, whose boobs I NEVER checked out, called me to the board to reduce a fraction or something. The very noticeable erection that I tried to conceal, became the laughing matter of the classroom for the rest of the semester.
National Geographic Magazine’s full color photos of African women’s breasts also served as an excellent resource for early study. This of course, was in an era when Playboy magazines were not easily obtainable for pubescent males. Adding fuel to the fantasy fire were the Junior High girls, also struggling through puberty, whose newly developed boobs were often proudly displayed in padded bras under tight sweaters or white, transparent blouses. That practice has not changed significantly to this day
As an avid breast observer, I often accompany my wife to any of the local shopping malls and wait, sitting on one of the benches while she shops. This is the perfect observation post. Ever wonder why all the old guys congregate there? Young Ingenues may still be observed, sporting their newest, uplifting training bras in search of pubescent males with the intent of driving them out of their one-track minds.
During the late sixties and through the seventies, the “braless fad†afforded tremendous opportunities for the dedicated Breastologist. It was during this era that I became a recognized expert as to whether or not a bra was being worn. I was often called upon to settle disputes, between old codgers waiting for their wives on a bench at the mall, as to whether a particular set of 38s were or were not holstered.
Just as Junior High school is the Basic Training Grounds for “boob-menâ€, High school is the early “field-study†area for the determined, life-long student of the female breast. In High school, as dating becomes a possibility, being alone with a female “subject†in a car affords, at least the opportunity for advanced breast study and research. One actually has the potential to touch, examine, and if one is extremely lucky, actually see, a pair of female breasts. The search for the ideal female subject becomes the early goal of the high school age “boob-personâ€. The criteria are these, in the order of their importance:
1. Great breasts
2. A willingness to allow extensive breast study and
observation for the benefit of science.
3. Relatively attractive facial features.
4. Someone not looking for a long-term commitment.
Young “boob-men†often plan their “field-studies†or dates around allowing adequate opportunity for observation and study. Here is an example of a typical agenda for female subject field study.
Pick subject up at her house —————— 7:00 PM
Dinner at Restaurant —————————— 7:15 – 8:15 PM
Movie ————————————————— 8:30 PM – 10:30 PM
Private scientific observation & study —- 10:30 PM – 12:00
Subject home by 12:30 AM
The degree of scientific observation and study attained during these field studies is also recorded in degrees. ie:
Scientific Level Attained Study Accomplished
Level 1 “Copped a Feel†– a light squeeze of either one
or both breasts through the clothing.
Level 2 “Pressed the Flesh†– Actual contact with bare
breast, usually accomplished by inserting hand
into the bra.
Level 3 “Nipple Contact†– Self explanatory
Level 4 “Loosed the beasts†– Unhooked bra and
explored extensively.
Level 5 “Visual Contact†– Actually observed the
breasts in their natural habitat.
Level 6 “Tasted the Fruit†– Also, self-explanatory.
Attaining all levels with a subject may take several “field observations†to accomplish or they may all be accomplished in one encounter. This usually is dependent upon the willingness of the subject to participate in the scientific study. If all levels are accomplished in one field study, this is known as the “grand slam†of breast observation and is not only a very rare scientific event, but could actually lead to a chance encounter with the “crown jewel†about which I spoke earlier. At this point in the field study, the researcher must make a decision whether to further his study of this subject, which in all probability would limit the student’s observation of other “subjectsâ€, or to just move on to other subjects, in the interest of science. This proves not only to be true for the dedicated “boob-man†but for exploration and discovery in general in most relationships from the high school age on through senior citizen status.

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Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

The condition shared by all males wherein a common illness (usually a mild cold) is presented by the patient as life-threatening.
This is also known as ‘Fishing for Sympathy’ or ‘Chronic Exaggeration’.
When the patient is your boyfriend, he will exhibit the standard symptoms (such as an overwhelming desire for compassion) while simultaneously rejecting any and all efforts you make to placate him.
You: Awww, you poor fella.
Him: I’m DYING!
You: (Soothingly) Oh, you’re not dying.
Him: (Indignant) I AM! I have Man Flu!
You: Do you need some sympathy?
Him: Yes! But no one understands my pain…
You: I understand-
Him: NO YOU DO NOT!!!
or…
A rare strain of flu so powerful and so deadly it can only be matched by the Bubonic Plague and Aids. A incurable virus which has adapted to only effect the “XY” gene found in men. The virus attacks the immune system 10,000 times harder than the average flu virus, causing excruciating pain for the victim. Man Flu has no cure and prayers can save the forsaken life of the infected. The often deadly virus is mostly laughed at by women who sadly cannot contract “Man Flu”
Woman: Is he ok?
Doctor: I’m afraid not, I’m sad to say he has Man Flu
or… (This is my favourite, hahaha – I more than love this one!)

The one week out of the year when a man has a cold, and doesn’t feel good, and excercises his right to complain and whine- contrary to every fucking day of a woman’s life when we have to hear you complain.
The man flu is usually accompanied by a lack of sympathy from females, which further advances the adverse symptoms of the man flu.
GF: Ugh, BF is so annoying and whiny, all he has is a cold.
BFF: Oh, yeah, the Man Flu.
BF: GOD FORBID you take care of ME for ONE DAY and not complain.
~~~~~~~
The above sadly NOT written by me , but much appreciated by me :) hehehe Huge apologies for all you sufferers out there – I mean it, honestly! Get well soon! x Shall I be nurse?


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Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
Hey, you know I am the queen of the lists right? Yes, I am back to my list fetish. Ohh I bet some of you can come up with a great name for a list fetishist…..
I have lists for shopping, lists for things to do that day, lists of places I still have to see, lists of lists I have yet to write (only kidding, or am I ?!) Lists consolidate things, make you work towards something, hell you can even call them goals if you want. Now there are a few lists out there (not mine, there are apparently other list writers – maybe we can all get together sometime and make a huge list of……?)
I bought a book during the year, well I actually bought many books and was kindly given many, many books. One of the ones I bought was 100 things to do before you die. I also have a list of 100 things, I wrote it a while ago and I take it out every year. I have done 75 of them. I need to add more. I am running out of things to do! (I have just added – find a way to join the mile high club in 2009 – hmmm – you so know who you are! Run! hahaha)
Now this book, the book of a 100 things is more of a ‘crazy/interesting things to do around the world’ kind of thing. Like go to the burning man project in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada (I nearly got there one year) or watch the Monarch butterfly migration in Michoacn, Mexico. You get the idea. My list is more of a mixture of things. I would be really (really) interested to hear about your list if you have one. If you dont, why dont you? Here’s someone’s short list I found on the internet…
1. Write a script for a TV show
2. Do stand-up comedy
3. Write a children’s book
4. Go camping
5. Ride a gondola in Venice
6. Learn how to salsa dance
7. Host Saturday Night Live
8. Visit a Renaissance fair
9. See the Mona Lisa at the Louvre
10. Witness a solar eclipse
and a couple of mine that I have been lucky enough to tick off…
Swim with wild dolphins
Follow grey whales from California to Mexico where they give birth
Do a 12000 ft parachute jump
I ticked off a massive one in 2008, sorry cant share that one here just yet.
Now, see just how much fun you could have with a little list?

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Friday, December 26th, 2008
Have a super duper Christmas? I sure did. In fact it was the best Christmas I have had in years. Lots of laughter, great company, gorgeous food, fizzy stuff and lots of fun and games. I also had a brilliantly saucy Christmas card from Mr A which I tried to put on this post but the text got cut off :( – thanks anyway A, it made me chuckle :) So, now its on to the sales and New Year. Although I have revived my love for Christmas, New Year has always been my favourite night of the year in the past. This one is going to be extra special, ohh I am a lucky girl this year! What about you? Are you planning something special for the 31st?
I am also looking forward to 2009, lots of tours… Bath on January 27/28 is fully booked but I am taking details in case of cancellations. Dubai in February has some dates left but London in March is also fully booked. There are a few new restaurants opened in Plymouth which I obviously will have to try out next year :) I always have a list of things that I want to do each year – I usually tick most of them off – try it, its great fun! What’s on my list for 2009? … well, you will have to wait and see. ;)
Oh I almost forgot, do you want updates of my blog on your mobile phone? Look at this, its clever.


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Thursday, December 18th, 2008
Well it looks like I will not have time to nip around the net looking for Christmas sauciness to post here after all! Id just like to say a massive thank you to all my lovely gents for making 2008 so special – both in Plymouth and whilst I was touring in London, Dublin, New York and Edinburgh. I really (really!) had a great time and I hope you did too ;) Also I have been overwhelmed by the wonderful Christmas wishes I have been getting via email – thanks guys, that means a lot and I really appreciate it. Thanks to the ladies too for your help during the past year with various things especially Crista and Dollymopp. Oh and a big thank you to Richard at 69 Design, my webmaster for keeping the site going. I hope I havent forgotten anyone! So, that just leaves me to wish each and every one of you (especially YOU for popping by to take a look at my blog) a superb, fantastic Christmas. You will, wont you? I hope you find everything you want under the tree. I will write another post after Christmas, before the New Year – have fun!! Lots of love xxx
PS Next available 2nd January 2009 x
PPS You really need to check out this blog – Hannah – she is so funny – have a look.

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