I didnt know the M1 was closed down the other day. You tend to ignore motor-themed news when you dont have a car anymore (no need for one in London really) But this grabbed my attention as I was catching up with the news at the weekend. A man in a dressing gown ironing on the M1; apparently its a new sport, Extreme Ironing -
“the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt”
Here’s one thing you may not know about me (and probably won’t care about either :) I have never drunk tea. No. Not in my whole life. Oh I must have tried it once as a child, spat it out and never touched it since. I don’t drink coffee either, never have, same pattern.
‘You must drink tea!’ our US cousins shout at me. ‘You’re just not patriotic if you don’t!’ Hmm maybe when we had an empire which included Ceylon and India and wanted to boost tea sales maybe.
I guess you can gather that I don’t like hot drinks. Actually, I do feel a little left out when people say ‘Shall we go for a coffee?‘ and I say ‘Well, I don’t actually drink coffee (no I am not a Mormon) but I’ll have a glass of water’ It’s not quite the same is it?
Guess what’s happened? You know I went away for a spa weekend? Well, I got to drinking herbal teas. Yes me. I know. It’s amazing.
I am still drinking them, ages after. What I would like to know is this…
This tea malarky, is it some kind of drug? Is it? Does it make you all calm (I’ve been drinking Camomile, my favourite – its very chillin’ :) I know coffee apparently wakes you up, makes you hyper – but I only know that from people telling me though.
Are you people who have been drinking tea and coffee for all of these years, well have you been taking some kind of drug? Like tobacco or alcohol?; and why did you not you tell me??
I never understood when there was a crisis and someone always said, ‘Let’s have a cup of tea’ or ‘Put the kettle on’ when people come back from holiday and crave a ‘cup of tea’ I never got it.
There’s me thinking it was just a foul, lukewarm drink and I never understood why you wouldnt prefer a nice glass of pure water instead. I think you’ve been keeping things from me.
I kid you not, I have had 5 people contact me recently regarding taking part in TV documentaries about, well you know what. Watch out for a flood of such programmes in the Autumn folks.
So my answer as always is no, no, no and no. I had one today ask me if my clients would like to be interviewed. ‘Are you totally insane??!!’ I think and then I think again ‘Hang on, this is some 21 year old chick straight out of uni, first research job and all that and I cut her some slack. She did phrase things a tad crassly though and I had to put her straight on that…
She used the word ‘use’ several times as in I am/we are used, us ladies – by men. I took it upon myself to explain that we dont take kindly to that word, just as she wouldnt take kindly to me saying she was ‘used’ as an employee or in any context. Im not into all this PC stuff, but some things, well they just dont sound right.
It has to change you know, this nonsense, this perception that people have. You will say ‘Well you should be part of the documentary then’ But no, these people arent after the truth, my side, they are after salaciousness. Thats business, thats what sells newspapers and what makes people watch TV programmes and therefore gets advertising revenue. I understand that, we all do. I am just not going to be part of it thats all.
Climbs down slowly off high horse. Good for the bottom, horse riding apparently ;) x
It looks like everyone will be back from their hols soon as my diary is filling up for September. Did you have a date in mind in September? Please contact me asap because I would love to see you then and I dont like to disappoint xx
It’s just too bad of me to keep you in suspenders after I went rambling on previously :)
So, no I didnt lose my lovely house, actually it was a cottage with apple orchards and an acre of land – oh er! You may sing the worzels song if you feel so inclined :)
So whilst I was mulling I decided to sell a few things (stop it!). Things in the loft, in the outbuildings, things that hadnt been used for years. Dear Heart, please remember this was before I had heard of ebay or even had access to the internet.
So, I picked up a paper, a yellow one, apparently you could sell things in there for free; and low and behold what I did see on the back page??….
Ladies.
Advertising.
That was it, that was how I could and would do it.
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, anecdotes, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while.
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This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, anecdotes, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while.