<A little break from my story, back to the present for now…>
‘Have you Googled me?’ he said. It’s amazing how a brand name becomes a verb isn’t it? Brilliant really.
‘No’ I said, ‘but I will now‘ I added.
The problem with Google; actually there are many problems with Google but we won’t get into all that here. Well, the problem with Googling someone is you may not get accurate information to start with.
For instance type ‘Dave Brown’ in Google and what do you see? (And no he is not a client, I just used that name as an example).
So our Dave, well he’s a comedian isnt he?, he is also a surfer, oh and Dave is also a photographer, he’s a DJ in his spare time and also an astronaut – and that’s just on the first page. Jeez! How can Dave find the time to come and see lil’ ole me?
Obviously there are many Dave Brown’s :) and I have no idea which one will be coming to see me. So I never Google anyone. Actually, I’m not that nosey either. Honestly, I’m not. I never even look at other ladies’ reviews – I feel like a Peeping Tom (no pun intended but I will accept it if it makes you laugh – I love to make you laugh :)
I am of course more than a little obsessive about my safety but once I am happy about all that, no I dont go prying. It’s like peeking into someone’s bedside drawer isnt it?
Oh you do that, do you? hahaha. Well, if you looked in mine you would find 3 types of condoms, lub, massage oil (from Fortnums, dont you know), a tiny vibrator and gym socks, oh and a lovely solid silver clock that has been broken and I dont know how to fix it – so if you do go poking around in there, I will expect you to fix it, hmm :)
Actually, you can rummage around in my drawers anytime you like ;) x
Now, where was I? Oh yes, the yellow newpapers, FreeAds or something lke that. So there they were at the back, the ads – under the heading, ‘Massage’ . Not many adverts, strangely enough, just two ladies and a massage parlour which seemed to send ladies out on appointments too. The reason why there werent many ads will be come clear.
So I put an ad in the paper. In those days, you didnt have access to the net like you do now. Gosh that sounds like hundreds of years ago doesnt it? Actually it was only in 1995,. I was clueless on how to do this, no websites to look to for help. No-one to talk to about it – I told absolutely no-one.
It amazes me, when I look back, at the risks I took. Giving out my address to anyone who called!!! In my defence, I was green around the gills and knew no better, perhaps a little too trusting as well.
Well, no sooner had my ad gone in than the calls started. I had a separate land line installed as I didnt have a mobile phone and I thought it looked more professional and reassuring :) Mobile phones were a new entity and some people didnt trust the use of them. It used to be a joke that only stock brokers and hookers had mobile phones.
So the calls came and they all asked for details (some still do to this day and I know right away that the person is a timewaster. My website could not possibly provide you with any more detail so it really is a pointless question). But thats now, lets go back to then.
Details, details, details. What to say? The first few callers, well they must have thought I was demented; “Details? Oh I dont know, Im not sure about that” I thought they meant details about ‘it’ you know, what we would do. Hehehe. Anyway, they wanted details about me. Dress size, hair colour measurements and fees, that sort of thing. You soon perfect a little routine though and the trick then is to not let it sound practised or boring.
Lots of strange ones called – they tend to when you make your number public; heavy breathers, pervs and some nasty guys too. Luckily my first encounter wasnt nasty, he was a very nice man and he became a regular client for a couple of years until I retired.
Nastiness, I guess is a part of (some) human nature, rough with the smooth and all that. But I guess the very secretive nature of this business attracts some particularly sick puppies and very nasty people. You have to learn to protect yourself from all that, and you do learn. Very quickly. It helps to share info with other ladies and if I had known any, I would have found out that the massage parlour in Plymouth was hell-bent on systematically putting every independent lady within a 10 mile radius out of business – by foul means not fair….
I went on the tube today. Oh you know I dont like it but sundays are far less vile than other days. Anyway, I saw something that has not made me stop smiling since.
A beautiful little girl (around 8 years old), sat there with her father he was in the seat next to her checking his blackberry. But she wasnt just sat there, oh no she owned the carriage!
Her body language was thus; hands behind head in a relaxed kind of setting. Fingers entwined amongst one another. Legs stretched out but not in the way of anyone. This chick calmly surveyed her surroundings and was not phased by them, one bit. She wasnt arrogant, she was magnificent. I loved her so much and she will rule the world one day. You read it here first :)
It’s just too bad of me to keep you in suspenders after I went rambling on previously :)
So, no I didnt lose my lovely house, actually it was a cottage with apple orchards and an acre of land – oh er! You may sing the worzels song if you feel so inclined :)
So whilst I was mulling I decided to sell a few things (stop it!). Things in the loft, in the outbuildings, things that hadnt been used for years. Dear Heart, please remember this was before I had heard of ebay or even had access to the internet.
So, I picked up a paper, a yellow one, apparently you could sell things in there for free; and low and behold what I did see on the back page??….
Ladies.
Advertising.
That was it, that was how I could and would do it.
So, what a dilemma. I know I am meant to do it, always have but circumstances (or the universe; read The Secret :) may have had some input into the chain of events that led me to where I was, sitting in my lovely garden pondering what I should do; and if indeed I did go down the path that was drawing me, how on earth would I do it?
Do you think some ladies are born to it? I am not talking (as I said before) of promiscuous people, no not nymphomaniacs, although I am sure quite a few ladies would like you to believe that ;) and I know there are more than a few fellas who would be horrified to think that it’s not quite the case – sorry guys.
The truth for me is that I am neither, but I am not inhibited. I also believe that I am not the marrying kind. I would never be unfaithful but I like, no I love my independence too much and I like the best in men. I think that this is the thread that runs through us ladies. Independence. That and getting a thrill from turning you on, oh and being glamourous. Oh quite a few things then :)
When I retire, and I will one day, but not completely mon cher ;) You can still ask me the question ‘What turns you on Rhia?’ and the answer will still be the same. ‘I get turned on by turning you on’ I know, I know. It’s sounds like a pathetic get out clause. But I swear it is true. It is the main thing that turns me on, actually it is the thing – is that sad?
Now I could go out and find a fella and turn him on for the next, oh I dont know, 5 years? But thats not enough. Im sorry to sound so difficult, but here is where I get to the nitty gritty.
I (we) only ever see men on their best behaviour. (Well sometimes you get the odd loon email or a fool on a forum, but I dont actually see them, perish the thought) When a guy visits me, he is always on his best behaviour, he is lovely and adorable and charming and witty and very sexy. Exactly like a first date. This makes me sound shallow I know. But I like them, first dates, or second or thirds :) (I am talking here of no dirty sock washing, getting complacent, big rows, witholding sex, not taking an interest, not turning up because he had a better offer from his friends at the wine bar, etc etc; well, you know) I get to meet very interesting fellas and they are interesting because of their varied opinions, interests, outlooks and backgrounds, and most of all – if I am outstandingly honest, because they too are interested in me.
And yes, the fellas who come to see me give me their undivided attention and lust and appreciation for the time we are together. They value me. I kind of like that and it is as sexy as hell.
The downside to all of this, of course is that I will never marry or be in a properly defined relationship and the longer you are in this profession, the harder it gets to ‘settle down’. Bear that in mind ladies if you decide to do this.
But that sounds tragic and its not, well not for me. I made a very (very) conscious decision a while ago (long before I started embarking on this profession) - to not have a ‘normal’ life . Its not for me and never will be; the mundane bores me. Gosh, and I havent even got to the second part of the story yet!
Hold on, stay tuned – again x
PS I like the pic, it reminds me of when I was a gymnast ;) Do you like it?
Now I dont often tell people this. People have asked often enough though; and its not that its a secret or particularly gruesome or glamourous either. Its just what it is and some people have said, ‘Save it for your memoirs darling’, but that’s assuming anyone will want to read them minus the salacious stuff and you know I dont kiss and tell dont you my lovely? Its just not my style.
Anyway, lets dispel a few myths.
I wasnt abused, sexually or otherwise as a child, I had/have very responsible and respectable parents. I wasnt a wild child – ok a little bit, but not in the way you think, only in comparison to my siblings. The extent of my wildness would be to go travelling around the world on my own but phone my mum every week so she wouldnt worry. Just a little walkabout really. But I was a little defiant, actually quite a lot, and that has never changed. I do what I want, within reason; I dont hurt or bother anyone else and therefore as far as I am concerned, thats that.
I have never been addicted to drugs. Yes I have the odd glass of something sparkly but I dont smoke and I dont take drugs, ever.
I wasnt even promiscuous as a younger girl. No, one night stands for me. I have never had one, still wouldnt; I find the thought quite nauseating.
I have had a relatively decent education and a degree from a relatively decent university. I even have a Masters degree too, maybe a PhD one day? Who knows?
So, how does a girl like me find herself doing a job like this? First of all, you need to know that this is not my only source of income. No, I have another career which I very much enjoy but will not discuss on here.
So , I dont need the money for drugs, I havent been abused, I can make money elsewhere. Why?? Good girl gone bad? Well its not as simplistic as that , is it?
No Im not bad, (actually Ive been told Im very good ;) but back on track – not in the sense that most of us fairly sane people understand as ‘bad’ but then we could start to tread down the Victorian puritanical route which, as much as we protest, still has a strangle-hold, certainly on the perceptions of this profession. Yes folks, you can go out every saturday night and shag a stranger with zero protection, maybe two or more strangers, but prostitution!!!??, well its immoral, isnt it?
Listen, Ive been on forums where the venom against us ladies is almost tangible and I am not talking about some religious fanatics’ forum, I speak here of forums dedicated to escorts and clients. The clients are the ones with the venom – not all obviously, but a huge percentage and enough to make you want to have a screening policy, hmm :) I’ve even challenged them (that will be the defiant mare in me :) asking them to examine why they say the things they do; a tad pointless really, as is asking any hypocrite to justify themself.
Anyway, that nonsense aside, I have always been fascinated by ladies of the night. My first exposure was obviously through books or movies. I loved the high class ladies I read about. One book changed my life, or the path of it. 79 Park Avenue. Its out of print now but I managed to get it a copy of it just a couple of years ago. I was quite nervous about reading it. It having had such an impact on me but it wasnt quite the same when I re-read it, just goes to show how we actually change; I believe there was a film made from the book too. Anyway, these high class ladies appealed to me. The glamour, the sexual chemistry, the mystery, the seduction, the independence, well everything really. I admired these ladies immensely.
I always knew I would do it though, be a high class whatever. It was just a matter or where, when and with whom.
But let me go back a bit. I grew up amongst friends, Bohemian types if you like who never judged anyone. Within that group was one who had a friend who worked as a street walker, another one had a friend who used to work the bars. They werent pro’s, my friends, like I say, they just accepted people for who they were, not for what they did. As a result, I got to know a few of these ladies by proxy and I remember thinking, at the age of around 15, well if I ever did this I think I know how I would work.
So then years later, I find myself with a massive mortgage and the company I was affiliated to had gone bust. Desperate times. I sat in my beautiful garden and gazed at the lovely house I had worked so hard to get and I mulled things over and thought, ‘Well maybe now is the time’. I didnt know what to do though, how to do it. I wasnt going to hang around under a lamp post. I saw first hand what those chicks have to put up with and its not pretty. No, there had to be a better way for me…….
I do hope you had a splendid Christmas, and it turned out exactly as you wanted it. You did didnt you? Mine was very, very nice. Family, friends, relaxation and far, far too much food and champagne. My gym will not know what has hit it come tomorrow.
Thank you for the cards, Christmas emails and general good wishes my lovelies, aww makes me all warm inside. x
So, the preparations for the move to London are going well. Its probably not the best time to move, when services keep closing for festive holidays but thats the way it has worked out. Hey ho. (or should that be ‘hey ho ho ho’?)
I am getting booked up already for the short time I have left in Devon so please get in touch asap if you have an idea about a final tryst in sunny Plymouth. Otherwise it will be off to London for you young man. (Do I sound like a pantomime dame? ha)
Its usually around about now that I reflect on the past year and regale you with tales of strange requests, silly texters and all that malarky. I am happy to report that I cant remember any naughtiness (of the ‘Oh do me a favour!’ variety) having occurred, well not much and nothing worth noting here – horray! it must be because I took my phone number off my site. I still get the odd (very odd) boy calling me at stupid o’clock of course – usually around about 3am – is that when all the nutters wake up? Anyway, they go on my ‘do not answer, EVER list’ which sits warningly on my phone. The problem is that my address book has run out of space! Eeek, if you know a solution, pray tell. I have filled my sim card and my phone now. So no strange requests, no totally untoward nonsense and a fully bloated address book. There is a moral in there somewhere :)
Now then, my New Year’s celebrations involve travelling a little way out of Devon and getting dressed up in a party frock. I will be partaking in ‘tripping the light fantastic’ and definitely shaking a wicked hoof. Ohh I do hope the roads will be nice and dry and clear. I have a few trips planned for 2010 but not nearly as crazy as 2009 was in terms of travelling. I fully intend to really get to know London, experience it properly. I am already getting to know it you know. The removal man was asking a couple of questions like, ‘Is it near xxx?’ and (this is me showing off) I said ‘Oh no its nearer to xxx’ Who’d have thought it?, me knowing a little about London geography! Mind you, I know where the best restaurants are, where to get the best Sunday Champagne Brunch and where the poshest hotels are. Oh yes, I have my priorities firmly on the right hand side, my friend ;)
I sincerely hope you have a fabulous new years eve and lets wish for a brighter year for many people, especially you and yours. See you in 2010, Cheers! x
PS Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions, I found them nestled away in some cosy corner of the net – have a look you may find one you can use :)
Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
I will no longer waste my time reliving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.
I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly….
I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.
I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than “password.”
I will not tell the same story at every get together.
I won’t worry so much.
I will cut my hair.
I will grow my hair.
I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine – if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I’ll tell him he stinks!
I will be more imaginative.
I will not hang around girls – they think you love them and that sucks.
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I was taken to a lovely restaurant for my birthday. I cannot divulge where it was or indeed who the chef was but it was one I have wanted to go to for quite a while.
I had the taster menu. Only 7 courses. ‘Oh you greedy mare!’ you cry. Nooooo. These things, these courses are delicate, intricate little creatures – works of art in fact. You only get a little morsel and then you are done. I like it like that though. It means I can try lots of tastes. Fantastic.
So, what I wanted to tell you about was the wines. Now, you know I only like certain wines dont you? Usually anything from the Loire Valley in a shade of pale is always going to delight me. Oh and anything beginning with a C and ending with an E with a bit of a fizz in between, of course :)
Now I know that certain wines are meant to go with certain foods, yes, yes, yes of course who doesnt? I kind of left that behind years ago though declaring, ‘Well I like what I like and I will drink what I like with what I like!’ ‘And anyway, champagne goes with anything (except fish and chips) huh!’
But this taster menu, I chose the accompanying wines with it didnt I. I have never done that before, with a taster menu. But you have to try it dont you?, especially on one’s birthday. Do you know what? It was incredible. The lady Sommelier was amazing. Each wine (and there were 7!) was perfect for each course. Oh I am in awe of them now. What a skill, to be able to choose the perfect, absolutely perfect accompaniment to any dish. That is so clever.
These were wines that I would never, ever have chosen. You cant drink the whole glass full, I couldnt but maybe you can? All in all a perfect delight and a wonderful drive back with a beautiful star-lit sky. Yes, a very happy birthday x
Oh and I just received a very special gift from a gent travelling over from France. A beautiful bottle of wine, perfect with cheese apparently. Cant wait to try it!
Mr D told me over a very fine lunch a little while ago that his aunt had been a Courtesan. Yes. Here is the story ( I know he wont mind me relating this, as at the time I gasped, ‘I feel a blog post coming on!’ as he was telling me and he laughed ‘Blog away!’ )
So, this was a lady who became very wealthy by virtue of her talents, but that is not the point. She had only a few well chosen suitors who took care of her handsomely and in return? Well, in return she made their lives easier, more passionate and also made them in turn very, very wealthy. How so? I hear you ask.
Apparently, she was the supreme hostess. She hosted the most magnificent dinners for the movers and shakers in this gentleman’s industry. She never actually ate at her dinner parties (Oh I dont like that idea!) because she wanted to ensure that she was totally attentive to all of her guests. She was fragrant, amenable and charming. These dinners were the catalyst for deals and mergers and hence made the gentleman in question very comfortable. Never underestimate the power of food, Dear Reader, or indeed the power of a talented woman ;)
I loved this story and I wish I had known her – I bet she had a tale to tell – like me ;) My lips are sealed though just like hers. x
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, anecdotes, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while - and make a comment when you feel the need; I like that x
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‘Have you Googled me?’ he said. It’s amazing how a brand name becomes a verb isn’t it? Brilliant really.
I was taken to a lovely restaurant for my birthday. I cannot divulge where it was or indeed who the chef was but it was one I have wanted to go to for quite a while.
Mr D told me over a very fine lunch a little while ago that his aunt had been a Courtesan. Yes. Here is the story ( I know he wont mind me relating this, as at the time I gasped, ‘I feel a blog post coming on!’ as he was telling me and he laughed ‘Blog away!’ )
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, anecdotes, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while - and make a comment when you feel the need; I like that x
