Rhia Charles, high class escort in London

I’ll Tell You What Drives Me Totally Nuts

**RANT ALERT**

You know when people move to a country/city and don’t stop wingeing about it?  Its akin to a dog sat on a nail, howling and cant be bothered to get his sorry ass up and move off it.

It especially drives me mad if they happen to have settled in a lovely, tolerant country called England and even more so if its my lovely London.

Can you you imagine emigrating to, oh I don’t know, let’s say Spain and moaning all the time at how better it is back in England, how it’s better this way and that.  What a drag.  You wouldn’t would you? , you’d just move back;   or the US, ‘Oh yes but England is sooo much better’, can you imagine?   How incredibly rude.

I don’t think that happens with the English, because 1. we are too bloody polite and 2. well it would be just stupid and someone somewhere would say the obvious, right?

So why do we put up with people slagging our lovely country off?

I’m talking about people who have chosen to move here, no one made them. They have made good livings here I am assuming or else they would have fooked off back to where they come from and here dear reader is my point.

I have lived in several villages in my time, one of them in deepest Devon. One of my neighbours was a lovely guy from Wales. He chose to get his degree in an English university, married an English girl and chose to bring his kids up in a beautiful village in England.  Free choices folks.   He had a good job, made good money in an English based institution.  One may assume that he hasn’t fared too bad in England.

This guy, nice as he was, stood in the quaint village pub one night and started his tirade about England, the English and finally the English language.  Hello!, he was in England, did he forget?

I had only moved in a few weeks before but I stood there incredulous as people looked down at their feet, shuffled a bit and cleared their throats. I looked around open mouthed.

Now I am willing to bet £5000 or more that  if I moved to Wales and started slagging the Welsh off, I would get more than a talking to, what do you think?

You know whats coming dont you?  I could not bear it.

I told him in no uncertain terms that if he did not like living here in England, if he found it so totally unbearable, and indeed if he didnt like us English then he should without further ado pack himself into his little car and bugger off back where he came from, up the motorway and turn left, and don’t bother looking back,  I think I said.

Right, that’s it then, I thought, no-one will speak to me in the village again.  But do you know what?, I didn’t care.

Still don’t.  Some things just need to be said.

They are here all the time though, these moaners, ‘Oh you wouldnt get this at here there or everywhere,  wherever I come from’. 

Solution: here’s a radical idea,  be off with you, sod off back to where you come from if its so much better, no one makes you stay here, stop moaning, be happy and good riddance.

Bloody cheek.

**RANT OVER**

Posted in London Courtesan | 2 Comments »

Scent of a Man

When I was in South Africa, one of the places I stayed was here,  The Cape Grace.   Yes, it was very nice :)

It’s one of those hotels that I love because they change the toiletries and towels 3 times a day (no environmental lecture now please).

Lovely toiletries there too, so I used to pop some in my vanity case, you know before they replenished them, is that a tad chav? :)

Soooo,  I still have a few of these things, particularly hand and body lotion, one of which I keep in my bag and another in my desk drawer.

Every so often I slather my mitts with them and sniff, oh the smell!…..

Well the smell is reminiscent of a very well groomed gentleman (in a suit – of course, hehehe, you can’t stop me fantasizing about the suits)

Cuff links,  crisp shirt from a lovely little shop in St James’s, boxer shorts, …… stop me….

I have to say, it does turn me on, the smell.   A lot.

You know who you are, come and get me.

PS. The lotion is by Charlotte Rhys, if you are interested ;)

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Funny

How can someone spend 8 hours watching comedy?  How can that be?, how can that happen?

A rather delicious friend dropped off a DVD set to me.

I love Ricky Gervais,  I do. Not sure about the silly films he has been involved in, but hey I understand the need to make a buck or two.

I remember that naughty, irreverent boy, Ricky Gervais when he was on the 11 O’Clock show. To be honest, it was the reason I tuned in. It’s not him though, this comedy thing I mention,  although he is involved, in a swinish way.

So, here I am not watching TV and most certainly not getting SKY whatever, and this, this thing is in my hands and I pop it into the DVD player because quite frankly, I have been working too hard lately.

What can I say?    Laughing, crying with laughter.   I can’t turn this thing off.  I watched the whole series in one go.

I texted my friends telling them that I was laughing so much,  ‘Oh yeah, its brilliant isnt it’ they say.

What???  Im missing out, big time. I feel like I have been abroad for a year or two.

Why does no-one tell me about this stuff?

Why?

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Genius, Birthdays and Lovelies

It was my birthday recently.

I cant believe how many of my fine, gorgeous fellas remembered.

Guys that I have not seen for at least 2 years sending me cards and emails.   How lovely is that?

And also my guys from overseas, remembering my birthday!  Its not like I tell anyone is it?!! :)

Seriously. Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone who remembered, it means a lot to me, it really does.  You are very, very special friends.

I had a lovely weekend.  I used to celebrate my birthdays the whole week long but I cant hack that pace so its just 3 days long now :)

My beautiful best friends in London and I went to one of my favourite restaurants – oh my goodness, what a fab time, talk about celeb spotting.  Oh and the food as usual was stunning plus the champagne and cocktails…

and then the next day a little garden party…

and then the next the theatre…

Now then, have you seen Jerusalem?  Have you?  I cant even tell you how fab that play is.   Mark Rylance?  I want to find words that have not been said before about the most brilliant actor you have ever seen.

I missed it the first time but I was determined to see it now its back in the west end.

I love raw, gritty drama, realism, especially British realism.

Love films like that too, Ken Loach: Kez, Gary Oldman: Nil by Mouth etc etc etc. Its probably why I love Shameless too.

I think I remember once reading somewhere someone saying about Olivier, that it was an almost surreal experience, watching him,  like being in the presence of genius, greatness and all that.   I never quite understood that.  An actor is an actor right?  Some are better than others,  yeah? blah blah blah.

Actually, I used to say that I preferred Italian realism where they dont actually use professional actors so that you cant confuse the authenticity of the part because you have already seen the actor in something else.

But no, this was on a different plane.   This person could not have given more of himself if he tried, he was GENIUS.

He was the perfect portrayal of the person he was meant to be.   He was an actor or was he?

That is what I felt watching Rylance the other night.

I watched him play a westcountry ‘wood/caravan dweller’ – of which I have had the dubious knowledge of .  I had to pinch myself that this play was indeed a play and Mr Rylance was indeed an actor.

The audience would react when things happened (I wont spoil it for you), we had to remind ourselves that this was a play.

Problem is now, I am going to measure every performance I ever see by him.

You have given me something wonderful Mister but you have also taken something away.   I cant imagine anyone measuring up to you. Ain’t that the thing with all great love affairs? :)

I wont spoil it for you with a synopsis of the play but…

When I came home, I took a peek at Mr Rylance and I discover that he is not even English but  an American.

What??   No, he must be from Somerset. He must have been a ‘traveller’.

Shocking!, Astonishing, Amazing, Incredible, Extraordinary.  GENIUS.   See, I still cant find new adjectives to describe this guy’s performance.

I am not going to put on a little sneek peek video because you really need to see it in its entirety.  I dont normally plug things as you know but bloody hell, that was gooder than good. See it if you can and if you like that sort of thing.

And yes I had a wonderful birthday, thank you so very much for asking :) xxx

Posted in Touch London | 2 Comments »

England

Oh what a wonderful weekend. I didnt actually do anything, I was referring to the weather. I am so enjoying it.

Sigh, its bliss, so relaxing and it really, truly does lift the spirits.

Truth be told I have been working all weekend (no not this work, I dont consider this work so let us not say that again – this is my hobby, dear one – that is why I am more than a little choosey about my gentlemen friends).

So, I have been busy working with my businesses – nothing to do with the Escort Life, taking on new staff and setting up JV’s. (I have to pay for this horrendously expensive holiday in January somehow!)

I havent missed out though. I have had all the patio doors open so that delicious, lovely warm air has wafted through, I can feel it honey!

I have eaten my lunch on the patio and watched the sun go down on the other one.   Oh and I did take a stroll down to Pimlico market and Daylesford Organic in Belgravia – with my shades, factor 50 and sun hat on – get thee behind me evil sun rays!

Going back to bliss, I got to thinking, ‘Why dont you just move somewhere that has this weather all year round, seeing as you like it so much?’

Hmm.  But I love London.  I love England, see?   Its not like I am scared. No, I moved here on my lonesome almost two years ago, went traipsing around the world on my own for a year, pop off all over the place.  No its not fear.   There’s not much I am afraid of, hehehe.

Ive met people in some of the villages I have lived, even in England,  who have never gone abroad, some have never been to London.

I know Im lucky (or is it choice?) Ive been to more places than most people, see HERE.

So its not that, being afraid of new things, I love new things, trying new things (steady ;), visiting new places (new sniffs as I used to say to my old beautiful dawg)

I dont care about doing it on my own either (a lot of people wont/cant) – I prefer it actually.

No, its this place, I adore it. I cant leave for too long.

This green and pleasant land.

I love it. I just do.

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More Excitement ~ What a Trip!

Can one person possibly contain so much joy and excitement?

Ive been planning and booking my January trip. I love to go away in January, it breaks up the horrid winter we usually have.

Having said that, if this weather keeps up I shall be a very happy bunny.   Its glorious isnt it?   I hope you have managed to get out and enjoy it. I had the most amazing trip to South Africa this year and sent you a few virtual postcards if you remember?

So my fab, fab trip in January 2012 started out being a quick few days in Las Vegas to go to a conference and see a couple of my fellas and has now grown into an epic three/four weeks in South America and LA too!

Its been like this;  ‘Well, seeing as I am over there, I may as well do that, and that, oh and that!’

So its a saucy jaunt on my fav airline with champagne on takeoff, can you imagine not?? :)  to LA, and  to stay somewhere I have wanted to for eons (I think when I found out that Marilyn Monroe had a favourite bungalow there – hint, its pink ;) ,  I just have to say hello to a couple of my chaps there of course.

Then its off to the Galapagos Islands (I cant tell you how long I have wanted to go there) – on a lovely small yacht no less!!

I am beside myself with excitement about seeing the boobies (Thats what they all say, wink, wink, nudge, nudge  ;)  – look at those feet, I want to touch – I wont though – oh and the giant tortoises and to snorkel with the crazy critters that you wont find anywhere else on earth – heaven.

Then its off to Machu Pichu on a very special train journey and staying at a very special lodge.  Then I get whisked off to the Amazon for some jungle adventures.

In between all of this, I will get to explore a bit of Peru, Lima and Equador of course.

Then I fly to Las Vegas to see some more lovely fellas. Phew!  Its quite a trip and I know I have condensed it down here, but it is very wonderful – a trip of a lifetime (or a trip of a lifetime every January if you are naughty like me :)  and I am so looking forward to it (my credit card isn’t though!!) – hey, you only live once, right?   No regrets.    Adventures keep us vibrant and make us excited and exciting.

I have this brilliant concierge service who are arranging everything for me – pick me up, carry me everywhere (kidding-ish :)   The very lovely Mr I passed on their details – they are fab and have saved me hours and hours of planning.   Thanks Mister xxx

So it looks like I shall be away from 23rd December until 26 January but as you know, I have some very special ladies who will be more than happy to take care of your adventures :)   Dont wait until then though, just let me know and it shall be done.

Have a lovely weekend xx

PS. the exceptionally extravagant, exciting, enticing and exclusive parties with said ladies will begin in November NOT January as originally planned – well you just cant wait can you? :)

I just need to personally check out a couple of beautiful venues that I have in mind and then the lovely fellas who said YES will be contacted with personal invitations.    See?  – another fantastic thing to look forward to!

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Party Time

One of my absolute dreams is to arrange a lovely, swish party – just for a select few, you understand.

Ive been talking about it for years, you may have heard me? :)

Somewhere utterly fabulous, a country house perhaps or a luxury suite somewhere divine in London – that would probably be best, the first time.

So I would invite the most luscious, top notch ladies and only the very most lovely and fun-loving, discerning gentlemen (max of 8 party guys and girls in total) and we would have….

…well such fun! What do you think?  I have the ladies already, we just need you now.

Champagne, cocktails, divine canapes, music, laughter, sensuality, maybe a burlesque performance too?

Nothing is arranged but please do express your interest via email. Obviously for discretionary reasons etc. only gentlemen I have had the pleasure of meeting previously would be invited.

Ohh I do love a good party!

Email me for more info and I will contact you when things get arranged – shhhhh,  dont tell anyone ;) xx

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IF…

I dont remember if I have shared this with you before, but even if I have its worth sharing again… I love it…

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I’m one of those people who live
sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d try to have nothing else.
Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair
85 years old.

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Reasons to Be Cheerful; Part 1

Part homage to the late, great Ian Dury and part to the Recessionista ( I so thought I had made that up and then found this… (darn!)

Recessionista – a person who evokes being affected by the recession because its the ‘in’ thing to be, especially if they have no real need to; they may even pay more for the privilege of having just the right down-market accessories or habits. ie; We’re going to Mel’s diner tonight. The decor’s a little shabby, you know with the recession and all, but they have the most fabulous oysters served in replica sardine tins. (Ref: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=recessionista)

Hmm, no, that is not moi! ; ( I don’t eat things in tins! :) I was also thinking along the lines of a more positive type of person with a more uplifting attitude to this (quite frankly) dull and dreary recession.   But we shall carry on; and in that vein; carrying on, well that is the thrust of the post,  my angels of lust.

I have always maintained that you have to have something to look forward to. You must.

Whether its the next silly email from a TW who has tried since 2008 to arrange a date and cancels continuously (you know who you are mister).   Hehehe – ‘a life’, and ‘get one’ springs to mind – and he sounds so normal too! -  I think he read my post on timewasters and that spurred him into action, yet again..  Sadder than sad Jack McSad he is (and God knows he was sad!)

I have very, very simple things that I look forward to every week. You may be surprised at what they are.  Oh before I tell you though, I do have other biggies that I plan and look forward to, of course.   These are just the daily grind, if you will pardon the pun? I also have the total pleasure of meeting your fine self etc etc…

So…..

One day of the week I can look forward to my lovely, lovely cleaner coming and making my house all sparkly and clean – ahhh, bliss!

Another day I just love to read the Sunday Times.

And another, I chat on skype to a very, very special member of my family.

Another, I catch up with one of my fantastic, fabulous and gorgeous friends in London.

On another  I watch Shameless, one of the best tv programmes, ever. Ever, you hear?

On most days I get to sit on my back balcony and enjoy the beautiful sunset in London.

And yet on one more, I try to be a touristisa (Im getting carried away now) – alright,  tourist in London – fab.

Oh and on Friday’s my edition of ‘The Week’ arrives – I love that.

See?  I bet you have simple,  lovely things you do too and I bet you didn’t know I enjoyed simple things :)

I’m a bit perturbed about some wealthy people like the Royal Family though  (Kate) showing signs of thrift.

Should they, really?  Oh I know, it stems from the second world war when it was a ‘We are all in this together’ kind of mentality. But what signals does it give out?

Mend and make do, negative thoughts, we cant afford things, we are broke.

Bad energy folks.  You know about quantum physics, yes?

What that means is no one is going to buy anything which means businesses closing, which means loss of jobs, which means people cant afford things,  which means  – a vicious circle, ….

Spend some money I say, spend money on English things (not being xenophobic here; each country should do the same)

We’ll soon get things up and working again, tickety-boo.

Oh, and a lovely lady I know has had a crazy experience lately but had a lovely date, so I hope that compensated a bit? I wanted to send this card but I couldn’t. She will know what I mean?  ;) xxx

Posted in english escort | 2 Comments »

Ive Been in Love for a While Now

Actually love is far too strong a word. Ive been….

….Oh alright, I guess I just like the guy.  Not in a fey  ‘Oh I find you verrrry  attractive Meester Bond‘ sort of way (actually he’s not bad at all :)

But its more of  ‘You make me laugh so much, you do, lets be friends‘ sort of thing. He amuses me immensely.

Enough for me to turn on the box at the appropriate time and have a giggle or five .   There is a saying that some men can laugh a woman into bed.   Its totally true.

I bet you love like him too?   He’s the fella who narrates the TV programme, Come Dine With Me. Its the only reason to watch the show to be honest. Sometimes when he is away, they slip in an understudy – someone who sounds like him but who is NOT!  Oh I know it within 5 minutes.  Not sarky enough you see.  (Bait and switch – outrageous!)  Oh us English, we love our sarcasm.

He’s called Dave Lamb and he is the most sarcastically brilliant narrator in the world.  He could indeed be sarcastic for England if there were such a thing at the Olympics.  [I must stress here that Mr Lamb and I have never met, well I wouldn't be talking about him here if we had, that's for sure]

Ohhhh, I’ve just had a brilliant idea – The Alternative Olympics, where you can become a champion for being sarky, sleeping, quaffing champagne;  etcetera, etcetera.

Has it been done before do you suppose?  I guess some elements have been aired on places like Jeremy Kyle and Jerry Springer (like sleeping all day long and wenching with your mother in law’s dog), but we could ban those dreadful things,  we’ll just get rid of that sort of thing darling,  huh?

Only sterling efforts would be allowed like sarcasm and being able to constantly reproduce a Jeroboam of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild 1945.   Genius stuff.  What do you think, is it a goer?

Talking of goers…   there are some ripe old people on Come Dine With Me for sure.  Andy Warhol, yes Sir you were right.

A few people (so called friends of mine :) , when they get a teeny bit  over refreshed, (God love ‘em)   have suggested that  I apply for the show, because of my love of food.  Hahahaha

After I have spluttered my drink all over my dress;   I retort, ‘ Are you  totally insane?   Can you imagine?, wildly bad mannered, unappreciative loons rummaging through my drawers and slating my food?’

The very thought.

So no.  No darling.  I make it a point to only ever have  the most delightful people rummaging through my drawers and tasting my morsels – thank. you. very. much!

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