International Women’s Day

I’m going to put my feminista’s hat on now (or should that be a fascinator?) What a great turn of phrase:   Feminista’s Fascinator©  

I’m going to copyright that one right now.  See, did it.

Do not try saying that after a glass or two with the vicar or at Number 10, dear ones.

So, have we (us birds :) not actually come too far in that we need a designated ‘Women’s Day’?  As far as I know there are no ‘Men’s Day’.

My mum would say ‘Every day is a bloody man’s day’   :)

Actually she used to say that to me when I asked her why there wasnt a ‘Kid’s Day’ seeing as there was a Father’s Day and  Mother’s Day. ‘Every bloody day is a kid’s day’   hehehe   T’was true, spoilt rotten, I was.

So I really don’t see the need for it to be honest.

Having said that, if you really want to take it to heart, get in the spirit of things, as it were;

I have been cancelled upon, stood up, cast aside on Thursday 8th (the day) and so I have a very welcoming international woman’s kiss for a lovely chap.

It will be a case of see you next Thursday (not Tuesday but the same naughty sentiment? ;)

Get it??  Fancy it? ;)

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Fancy a Massage?

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Frank

Independent Mature Escort London

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman get invited to a Christmas party;

Each has to take a gift.

The Englishman takes a  bag of tinsel

The Scotsman takes a  bag of holly

The Irishman takes a pair of knickers

The Englishman asks ‘Why knickers?? ‘

‘These are Carol’s’ he says.

Ahh RIP Frank (its the way I tell ‘em’) Carson.

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Phil

Mature Courtesans

I cant remember if I wrote about this or not but I was desperate to get my hands on a copy of the new book – ’90 years of glorious gaffes from the Duke’.  A teeny book with Prince Philip’s naughty one liners.  So deliciously un-PC.

Well one of my lovely fellas had a copy sent to me and I just had to share this with you, it still has me chortling :)

The Duke whilst fulfilling one of his royal duties met a female solicitor in 1987.

He asked her what she did and on replying ‘I’m a solicitor, Sir’ he said;

“I thought it was illegal for a woman to solicit”

I really wish he was my Grandad.

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Ive been slack

High Class Mature Escort London

A gent recently asked me about website copyright theft as he thought I may know something about dealing with it :) Probably something to do with this  http://www.rhiacharles.co.uk/copyright.php

Anyway, I used to check if my site had been copied every week but for quite a while there was nothing happening (thank goodness) and so I kind of let it be.  After talking to said gent I checked again and lo and behold, not 1 but 19 of the buggars copying and pasting my website content into their sites and adverts!

You have to laugh when  they call themselves ‘elite’ and ‘classy’ – there is nothing elite or classy about pilfering :) It reminds me of a zombie film when you turn your back for a minute and they creep out of every bloomin’ orifice (no, not my orifices!, buildings etc etc, oh never mind)

So we have some from the UK, Scotland (are they still with us or not?), India, US, Germany and France. Phew quite the little globe trotter my site is!

Anyway, Ive got 6 of them removed in the last few days, just 13 left to go :)

Oh and ladies, if you are having this problem, I wrote an article a few years back for Saafe, to show you how to remove the miscreants.

http://www.saafe.info/index.html - under ‘content thieves’

And the other ‘ladies’ who are tempted, ‘Don’t go there‘ is probably as sound as any advice you can get.

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I’m in the Mood

I have to be in the mood you know, to write a blog post. I also have to be in the mood to see my lovely Gents.

Regarding Gents, its not too hard to put oneself in the mood, oh no.

I don’t have too many visitors of the secretive variety these days (I have been slowly, gently scaling things down), hence the infrequent reviews but he is there in my diary maybe once or twice a week – and I really do look forward to our meetings; I do, or I wouldn’t be arranging them. Life is far too short to be doing something you don’t want to.

As you know, I don’t have boyfriends.  I do have lots of beautiful, lovely friends in London, male and female,  but sometimes you need that certain frisson of meeting a new beau.  ‘Why dont you just go out and meet random guys in London‘ you ask  ’or join a dating agency?’

Randoms are never a good idea.  Full Stop.

A dating agency suggests commitment and all that jazz – Im not really into that and I don’t want to be dishonest.

Or I could join one of those NSA (no strings attached) websites, couldn’t I?  Well no, truth is, I would just feel used.

Its not just about the sex you see.

May I be frank?

It’s an extreme turn on for a woman if a man takes the time to look her over (website), make a move (email), share something about himself (content of email), make a commitment (money) – but not such a commitment that it would scare her (me) off.

So does that make sense why ladies like me do naughty things like this?  But only with certain naughty boys like you?

Oh and please don’t feel sorry for me, I have had tons of chances of a ‘relationship’ – whilst in and out of this industry – I just don’t like it, not really.

You will read more about those in my book, but not about encounters with my Gents.  I decided to hold publishing  said book until post-retirement, after being given some wise advice from someone who has been there.

And for something totally off subject, I’ve been turning into quite the Royalist lately (apologies to you republicans out there.  I think its a bit like God, you start believing/taking interest the older you get ;)

I never had much interest until I moved to London to be honest, but I feel great affection towards Her Maj.  Very excited about the Jubilee this year; you just, totally must  pop down/up/over and join us, you really must, no excuses! Oh and you can always grab a glass of champagne with moi too!

I’ve been watching the series with Andrew Marr, no Andrew Marr was not here, he was presenting, it was called Diamond Queen. Lovely. Princes William and Harry are just such totally lovely boys, really they are.

Now then, are you enjoying the joyous weather?  the forthcoming spring? Its coming, I can feel it.  It’s so wonderful to say goodbye to the dreary winter, isn’t it? Look out for the next post, it will be sure to have a lamb in it somewhere :)

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A Shiny New Review!

http://www.punternet.com/frs/fr_view.php?recnum=107871

Thank you so much kind Sir, it was a pleasure to meet you! xx

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The dog that looks like a penis

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Things that make you go Awwww

Mister, who I told off recently (see below) just sent a massive bouquet today by way of apology. Forgiveness is a virtue is it not? ;)

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Things that make you go Ahhhh

London Mature Escorts

Obviously with most things in life there are boundaries.

There are boundaries at Formula 1 racing, there were boundaries at the Royal Wedding.

Mostly they are there to keep the damn crazies from doing  something mental.

Sometimes they are there to stop our own silly selves and some are there to stop people taking advantage of you.

Most ladies of the night have them; boundaries.  Most will tell you them.   Some we assume are obvious to you.

I used to have a little section on my website of do’s and don’ts.  Its probably still hanging around somewhere, like George Michael’s thong circa 1987,  but maybe not too obvious now – not sure how obvious that thong is ( or smelly) and quite frankly….. ohh lets not go there.

I have to say for legal reasons that George Michael’s thong is definitely NOT on my website in any way shape or form, neither have I seen, sniffed or been in any close proximity to George Michael’s thong.  I have never met the boy (and even if I had I would never admit to it, natch)  Phew, that’s got that out of the way, we can say what ever we want now!!

Now then, the reason that my etiquette/boundaries page has been lost/buried over the last few years is because I haven’t felt the need to put that at the forefront of your browsing experience whilst on my website because dear hearts you have been awfully good, you know.

But lately…..

Hmmm.

A few things that make one go a little bit Ahhhh, No.

Gentleman emails me with great aplomb about meeting and then goes into more detail about a 3 month cruise that he would like to take me on.  ’Hang on Mister, I tell him, ‘You haven’t even met me yet, lets meet up for a cocktail first‘ and the TW radar swings into action. Oh you havent heard of that?  Its the internal TIMEWASTER radar that most of us ladies have when we smell a rat.

Meet the fantasist.

♫ If you dont have a dream, if you dont have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true? ♫

Do you know, I had absolutely no idea how many middle aged loony fantasists there were out there until I went into this business. Well, you wouldn’t would you?

So the radar is flashing and then the constant emails back and forth, getting more demanding in sexual content.  Back and forth. Radar goes from amber to red.  Flash, flash, flash. You don’t like to be rude, obviously and I do provide a particularly cosy experience but come on.

Having said all this, I have had one or two gentlemen who have tried the sexy email back and forth prior to a booking and despite me not playing the game they did become regular clients, but gents, may I say?  We don’t like it. At all.

Its like emailing your, (oh I dont know) your accountant over the weekend for some hard figures (dont put it on the bill though you would say) or your solicitor for some  advice pro bono.

Its just not done darlings. I know I am a very friendly girl but sadly I am unable to offer free sexy emails, texts or phone calls prior or after our meetings – during – yes that can be arranged ;)

So back to matey boy who probably took up my whole email box for a while (the only box of mine he  filled I hasten to add)

What became of him?  A silly timewaster, who of course no one would take seriously. Radar correct ✓ as always.  Luckily I had only pencilled in the silly boy and checked a week before. He’s probably 55, the child, what on earth will he be doing at 80 I ask myself.

I think the high class American ladies have got a point in fixing deposits for every appointment you know. I may go that way.

Ohh but way apart from the stupid TW, there are more things we have to deal with.

I have had an ex-regular who I actually liked a lot, call me a whore – to my face –  yes.   Its not that I don’t know that, and in some context it would be sexy but, its the sentiment behind it, right?  It was quite hurtful at the time, I thought we were friends.

I’ve had to have words regarding some misdemeanours with a few clients in the past,  who have  taken it on the chin and have now become very, very good friends.

And just today, I’ve unfortunately had to explain to someone  who I have known for at least twelve months that although I am discreet, non-judgemental, honest, trustworthy, punctual, accommodating, flexible, fab and local  (that is apart from the sexy stuff!)  I cannot and will not be treated with disrespect. So please do not do it.

Sometimes the boundaries have to be explained carefully, succinctly, before being totally understood. Now I sound like a killjoy but I can assure you most ladies would just delete your emails rather than explain why.

So, there we are.  Don’t ask us for free sexy emails, texts, phone calls.

Don’t call us daft names  that tell us far more about you than it ever will about us….

Let’s try to be nice human beings, huh?

….and that’s about it really.

We don’t ask for much do we?  Apart from that, a big smile and a  kiss on meeting will do nicely ;) xx

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