Definitions of Man Flu
January 3, 2009 –
The condition shared by all males wherein a common illness (usually a mild cold) is presented by the patient as life-threatening.This is also known as ‘Fishing for Sympathy’ or ‘Chronic Exaggeration’.
When the patient is your boyfriend, he will exhibit the standard symptoms (such as an overwhelming desire for compassion) while simultaneously rejecting any and all efforts you make to placate him.
You: Awww, you poor fella.
Him: I’m DYING!
You: (Soothingly) Oh, you’re not dying.
Him: (Indignant) I AM! I have Man Flu!
You: Do you need some sympathy?
Him: Yes! But no one understands my pain…
You: I understand-
Him: NO YOU DO NOT!!!
Him: I’m DYING!
You: (Soothingly) Oh, you’re not dying.
Him: (Indignant) I AM! I have Man Flu!
You: Do you need some sympathy?
Him: Yes! But no one understands my pain…
You: I understand-
Him: NO YOU DO NOT!!!
or…
A rare strain of flu so powerful and so deadly it can only be matched by the Bubonic Plague and Aids. A incurable virus which has adapted to only effect the “XY” gene found in men. The virus attacks the immune system 10,000 times harder than the average flu virus, causing excruciating pain for the victim. Man Flu has no cure and prayers can save the forsaken life of the infected. The often deadly virus is mostly laughed at by women who sadly cannot contract “Man Flu”
Woman: Is he ok?
Doctor: I’m afraid not, I’m sad to say he has Man Flu
Doctor: I’m afraid not, I’m sad to say he has Man Flu
or… (This is my favourite, hahaha – I more than love this one!)
The one week out of the year when a man has a cold, and doesn’t feel good, and excercises his right to complain and whine- contrary to every fucking day of a woman’s life when we have to hear you complain.The man flu is usually accompanied by a lack of sympathy from females, which further advances the adverse symptoms of the man flu.
GF: Ugh, BF is so annoying and whiny, all he has is a cold.
BFF: Oh, yeah, the Man Flu.
BF: GOD FORBID you take care of ME for ONE DAY and not complain.
BFF: Oh, yeah, the Man Flu.
BF: GOD FORBID you take care of ME for ONE DAY and not complain.
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The above sadly NOT written by me , but much appreciated by me :) hehehe Huge apologies for all you sufferers out there – I mean it, honestly! Get well soon! x Shall I be nurse?
One Response to “Definitions of Man Flu”
Hi read with interest you piece about man flue, I must be the exception to the rule. I have never had flue a cold.
By Keith on Aug 10, 2009