3 things, take them with you – regale, delight and enthrall!

Where have I been lately?  Well I went to La Gavroche (thank you so, so much Mr!) – totally amazing and a new contender for my best restaurant in the UK (world actually), also went to Corrigans in Mayfair and had a schnitzel off a food stall on Portobello market, see how versatile I am?  I will be in so much in trouble for that! (sorry mum and all my teachers)  Oh and a couple of restaurants that I went to with some friends that were ok but not worth a mention.

Do you remember me enthusing about the foodie market that happened in Plymouth once a year?  Well, they happen every week here in London.  Yes!!  Ive been to Pimlico market and Borough Market and all manner of fab deli’s. If ever there was an opportunity to be greedy, it is here.  Off to the gym then. x

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Anyway, I was wrong. Bonobos do too. They are a species of chimpanzee who also like to get it on, you know, just for fun.  Funnily enough common chimps dont do it. Curiouser and curiouser.

Sex plays a very important role in bonobo society. It is used as a greeting, as a means of conflict resolution, and a host of other important social gestures. They are relatively indiscriminate about their pairings – they do not form permanent relationships with individual partners. Other than humans, they are the only animals known to engage in face-to-face sex, tongue kissing, and oral sex. Same sex interactions between males and females are common. They have a matriarchal, peaceful society.

I did read once that Groups of young male dolphins have been recorded corralling a young female away from a group and raping her. Of course, not all of their interactions are malicious – they have sex for pleasure as well. Just like in human society there are always a few “bad ones” in the lot. I swam with wild dolphins once, in New Zealand; Dusky dolphins like the ones in the picture, they are the most acrobatic of the species.  The best thing I have ever done, really.  It was incredible.  I wouldnt ever swim with them or even go to see them in captivity, too cruel.  So dolphins raping?  Oh I cant bear it, they are so gentle, intelligent and playful.  It cannot be so!

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Have a super weekend xx

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Florence + The Machine

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Life can be mundane, of course.  Here’s a boring story but it proves a point. I ordered some household items via direct delivery from a very well-known supermarket.  Just some odd things that you need around the house, nothing special just practical stuff.  They sent me the wrong things.  Now I dont have a car anymore because I am now a London gal :), I cant simply jump in and drive to the supermarket and return them.  No its a little trickier than that.  I look at the returns policy and they say I can return it to any store that begins with a T and ends in an O.  You know who it is now dont you? :)  So, I traipse down to the nearest store, after phoning them of course, to check that they will take it back.   ‘Oh yes’  they say.  So, duly traipsing (do you traipse too?) – quick diversion – I was trying  on a pair of heels in shoe shop recently and the guy serving me was a transvestite.  ‘Nothing wrong with that’ you say, but he said to me.  ‘Oh you didnt half mince when you walked over to the mirror’   Trying to be keep my balance love, trying to keep my balance,  and while we are at it, kettles and pots, kettles and pots  :)

Anyway, I digress, where was I?  Oh yes, so off I go to return said items only the manager says ‘No, cant do it, cant take them here’.   ‘Grrrr, but I phoned’  I protest ‘And someone said yes I could’  ‘Well that shouldn’t have happened’ he said (I swear I am going to have that inscribed on my tombstone or at least on a t-shirt).  So off I trudge (I traipse when I think I am on the right track and trudge when I think I am not) all the way home.  The ‘manager’ had told me that I should take it to this big T miles away and I was going to do it, forgot the bag though on the way to a sunday lunch.  So, I plan another day to do it and I phone the store.  ‘No, even though we are a massive superstore, selling everything in the world you can imagine, you cant bring it here’  he smugly says. Hmmm I detect a conspiracy.

So I call (hahaha) customer services (hahaha) and they say ‘Oh dear, you have been given the run around havent you?, that shouldn’t have happened‘   ‘Let us pick it up from you instead’  ‘Great!’ I say lovingly. ‘You have to stay in though, for the courier’  ‘Of course!’ I gush.  ‘What time? shall we say 11am?’    ‘Oh no, no, no’  says satan in a tabbard. ‘For 12 hours, 7am until 7pm’  My heart sinks.  ‘Cant you be more specific?’ say I ‘No, it is out of our hands’ she says.  So I took the day off and I waited, and waited, and waited FOR TWELVE WHOLE HOURS.

Just imagine what you could get up to in 12 hours.  Actually I did, we could fly to San Francisco or the Caribbean, be on a beach before you know it sipping Mai Tai’s saying ‘ T****? Who on earth (or put in the expletive that resonates with you) is that?

You know it, dont you?   The courier didnt turn up.  ‘That shouldn’t have happened‘  they said when I called after a few days of cooling off.

The point is though, I wasted roughly around 15 hours of my life for what?  Around £50.

So when they asked me if I wanted another courier booked, I took a deep calm breath and said; ‘No thank you, life is too short’

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Hmmm, I am a little bit of a sceptic regarding all of this, ‘I’ll believe it when I see it!‘  I cry.  Well, actually if I do see it, I will believe  then of course, but it will be too late wont it? Oh I feel a holiday coming on…

The Mayans viewed ’time’ and ‘dates’ as a meshing of spiritual cycles. The Mayan calendar was sacred and religious, each day had it’s own patron spirit. The Mayan grand cycle of evolution will culminate on December 21, 2012 AD. The 2012 Apocalypse. This time now has many names ”The Time of Trial on Earth,” “Judgement Day,” “The Time of Great Purification,” “The End of this Creation,” “The Quickening,” “The End of Time as We Know It,” “The Shift of the Ages,” “The Apocalypse” and “Armageddon”.

It is foretold that the completion of the Mayan Calendar brings regeneration of Earth, offering an awakening to all with open hearts and minds. TheMayansm, Hopis, Egyptians, Kabbalists, Essenes, Qero Elders of Peru, Navajo, Cherokee, Apache, Iroquois Confederacy, Dogon Tribe and Aborigines all believe in an ending to this Great 2012 Apocalyptic Cycle.

As keen stargazers, the ancient Maya were familiar with astrological cycle we call the Precession of the Equinoxes. This is close to a 26,000 year cycle in which Earth passes through each of the 12 signs of the zodiac for 2000-2152 years each. Each of these astrological ages represents one month of the Cosmic Year.

The Mayans were known worldwide for their architectural, artistic, mathematical and scientific achievements. With great attention to detail they constructed stone monuments and pyramids with precise computations. Built with purpose, these dates were left to ensure that future generations would be alerted to the end point of this great 26,000 year cycle – The 2012 Apocalypse.

A cycle which corresponds also to a 26,000 year relationship of our Sun orbiting Alcyone, the central star of the 7 sisters pleiades constellation. According to the Maya, the “future” which lies beyond this end date is literally a new world age – a new creation - an Apocalypse.

The Mayans believed that December 21, 2012 AD is the culmination of a series of events over time that leads to towards an the ultimate spiritual awakening of the world ( The 2012 Apocalypse ). They believe the changes are underway and will continue steadily accelerating as we head towards this date.

Sunspot Cycles; Adrian Gilbert and Maurice Cotterell, in their book The Mayan Prophecies, say that the end of the Great Cycle is the culmination of a series of long-term sunspot cycles which will flip the sun’s magnetic field, causing earthquakes and flooding on earth and an apocalypse in the year 2012.

The Mayan King Pacal Voltan was known for his prophecies and was known for his knowledge of numbers. Pacal Voltan speaks about the end of the world on December 21, 2012, a year which many believe is the year of the apocalypse.

Part of the 2012 mystique stems from the stars:

On the winter solstice in 2012, the sun will be aligned with the center of the Milky Way for the first time in about 26,000 years. This means that “whatever energy typically streams to Earth from the center of the Milky Way will indeed be disrupted on 12/21/12 at 11:11 p.m. Universal Time,” according to Lawrence Joseph.

Others believe gravitational, magnetic, and solar energies will go awry when this galactic and planetary alignment occurs, causing an array of natural disasters, including the weakening of our magnetic field, allowing solar radiation to penetrate our atmosphere and the 2012 Apocalypse.

(Kindly taken from  http://2012apocalypse.net/)

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Ok, whether you believe this or not,  (I dont) there is always a lesson, something you can take away from anything new you learn.  If you thought you had only 1024 days left on this planet, what would you do??  Think about it.

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Oh I forgot to tell you that you have your own personal bathroom here.  Yes a room for the boys.  I have an en suite with a bath  for moi ( I have to have a bath, really) and you have your own bathing space too.  A separate walk-in shower room with all the things a boy wants….

Molton Brown shower gel

Unscented shower gel

Tooth brushes  & paste

Floss & Mouthwash

Clean fluffy towels

Shampoo & Conditioner

Boys’  reading material  (not what you think and only if you have the time :)

I even have a laughing buddha statue – rub his belly and you will be prosperous

Have I missed something?  I am not a boy (obviously hehehe)   Tell me if I have missed something or if you have any ideas, I always want your visit to be perfection  x

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I went to the Saachi gallery in Chelsea and I know its ever so fashionable to be into modern art, and although I found it interesting, would I have any of those pieces in my home?, probably not.  As I say though, very interesting.  I was with a few gals and so didnt get a chance to really examine everything as long as I would like (they spotted a cake shop :) but then again I think someone once said that art has to touch you, if not then the piece is not for you.  Modern art though strikes me as being a bit different.  Sublminal messages if you like.  I did some deconstruction of film when I was at uni and it reminded me of that.

I also went on a London ghost tour. Whooooooooo.   Oh yes, I love anything like that, gory, gory, gory.  Dont worry though, I dont have gory tendancies towards you young man, just step into my lair, thats it… hahaha

Anyway, it was as mad as you like, this tour.  They had actors who were meant to give atmosphere to the thing but it was like being sat next to the nutter on the bus, you know the one and he always chooses you.  A really funny time though :)

And then I went to Nobu – I told you I was busy didnt I?  You know Nobu, that top Japanese restaurant on Park Lane that all the celebs go to (Victoria Beckham’s favourite, I hear).  We didnt see any celebs but we did spend a very pleasant afternoon munching through 7 courses – they were tiny, honest!!

It looks like another busy week for me chaps, I may have a teeny space in my diary over the weekend, failing that it will be 9 or 17 March. See you soon?

PS   Spring is coming, I can feel it!

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‘It’s not Ashley’s fault.  He thought she meant ‘Girls Allowed”

Taxi!

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But no, now there is a 12.5% service charge slapped on the bill automatically. Can you imagine going to see a ‘lady’ and her saying ‘Oh that will be an extra 12.5% because I opened the door and let you in’?  Ive seen worse though.  When I was in California for a few months, you could not get a second drink in a bar unless you gave a dollar tip – every single time you had a drink.  Every time, regardless of whether the service was poor, mediocre or diabolical.  They totally ignored you without the flash of a greenback but if they did deign to glance in your direction, the look they gave, honestly, turn a hot chick to stone it would.   Madness.

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