Rhia Charles, high class escort in London

All the Best Laid Plans

Arghh!

I was due to have lunch with the lovely Ayo-Sue today, somewhere very fab and a place I have had on my list for a while.  Of course I was very excited to be catching up with Ayo too.  So, I plan my day, I even had a relatively early night last night to be fresh and lively.  So I  get everything ready and  try to run a bath.  Uh oh! no water, what? this cant be right.  I used to have intermittent plumbing problems in the southwest, it cant be happening again surely.  Am I doomed to be plagued by the plumbers curse?  I know, I know that I am lucky to have water running from my taps (usually), plenty dont but I desperately didnt want to let this lady down, but now I have and I have to wait for a plumber to arrive and he wont tell me when that will be and she has to lunch alone. I’ll make it up to her though, Im so sorry darling x

English Escort

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Going to the Dogs

Im going to have a moan.  Look away now if you think that everything in the garden is lovely.

Over the last few weeks I have been confronted with constant incompetence.  Grrrr. I speak now of businesses and government agencies.  From making an enquiry to say I want to buy a product and never getting a call back to trying to book a very expensive hotel for a party – and never getting a call back,  to the NHS.  Yes the NHS.   I have had to chase people constantly for routine things.  Everyone saying ‘That shouldnt have happened’ – remember that post?  I have always in the past given these guys a lot of leeway, its an institution after all and we are lucky to have it, right?  Well, actually we do pay for it, and a fair amount too.  I would go private if I thought they would refund my contributions.

You know I love my lists and as a rule I am a very efficient and organised lady – maybe thats why these incompetents irritate me so. The list of people I am waiting  to get back to me grows by the hour.

So, this austerity package – does that mean government agencies and the NHS management are  going to get worse?? or is some fab chick in thigh high leather boots going to stride in and make the lot of them more efficient?   Oh I so hope its the latter.  Maybe that lady who sorts the shops out, she might be free for the next 10 years.

Yes private businesses are just as bad and for some reason it feels worse, they should actually care about getting business.  Without exception every single one I have contacted recently has been diabolical.  Apart from my facialist, yes you read it correctly, not fatalist but you may be forgiven for thinking that with the  general thrust of this post :) (its the new buzz word for someone who does facials) anyway, she’s exceptionally good at business as well as facials, she does Angelina’s when she is in London, dont you know!  I like her.  But the rest of them? Actually I feel sorry for them.  They are in no way going to survive in the coming months/years.  Some provider of excellence will step in and sweep up all their custom.  I hope they call me first, these ship-shape businesses, I would love to give an excellent business some cash.

Rant over.

Thank God for my fellas, honestly. Paris was of course exceptional, when is it never?   I brought you back a postcard ;)  Thanks Mister C, I will never look at croissants in quite the same way ever again hehehe :)  xxx

High End London Escort

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Intuition and Threats

Oh and after me telling you I dont get any nonsense anymore too!  I had an email recently from a gent (and I use that term very loosely :) who said he was 38, after speaking to him on the phone, he certainly did not sound that age, he sounded very, very young.  No big deal you say but as you know I am a little particular about who I see and of what age.  Did you know that some fellas lie about their age to slip under the net?  I dont know why they bother really, just find another lady who is happy to see them surely?

All ladies in this business will be aware of our in-built antenae, our female intuition is probably honed a fair bit more than your average woman.  So, anyway, I speak to this particular fella and then get some odd emails about having booked a table for after 10pm and things like that. I checked, the restaurant does not accept bookings that late.  A few other things rang some alarm bells, things didnt ring true, he sounded at worst a timewaster and at best, well very immature;  something was definitely not right about him, so I thought  ‘Do you know what, I dont want to see this guy’  So right away, I email him and tell him that Im perhaps not the lady for him, a good few days before the meeting.  My safety and well-being has to be paramount.

I get an email this evening, days later, threatening me with a bad review on Captain69 even though he hasnt even seen me. I of course told him to do what he may, I dont respond to petty threats like that. What a silly boy. Now with that in mind, would you say that is the behaviour of a 38 year old?  Hmm, me neither.

Now, as you can imagine, I am more than relieved that I didnt see this guy and that I cancelled the appointment if indeed it was a genuine appointment; these type of people thrive on thinking you have given them a little attention by actually getting ready for them.

Anyway, I always listen to my intuition, always.  The only times I have ignored it in the past, I have regretted it.  Unfortunately there are some nasty pieces of work out there, I have had a few contact me over the years, very sick puppies; I just wish they wouldnt get in touch with me, but sometimes a lady’s website lures the deranged like a moth to the flame.  Hey ho, it cant be all roses I guess but like I say, I am indeed very happy that we never actually met; can you imagine?

High Class London Courtesan

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Shenanigans

I have a little policy, its actually on my donations page.  If a gent cancels twice, I have to ask for a non-refundable deposit if he wants to try and book again.  I know that life has a nasty habit of getting in the way of our shenanigans and that all sorts of things can crop up – thats life. But as the saying goes, ‘Once is unfortunate, twice is just carelessness…’

The problem you see,  is that I am very busy.  Crazy busy. I dont mean, ‘Oh I have several million gents trying to get to see me’  (its only a few thou, hehe :)  No, what I mean is, I have lots of things I need to do in addition to this sauciness. So, when we arrange a date, I will have cancelled other things, planned my other working life around it.  Said no to important business things, disappointed more than a few gents, and yes even looked forward to seeing you!

I know its my choice to do this and cancellations sometimes come with the territory but what I am trying to say is, guys my time is very important too. If I book a facial, they take my credit card details in case I dont turn up; Likewise a decent restaurant will do the same. Lots of businesses do that these days. I guess they have all been stung in the past.

I have had a spate of double cancellations lately, I even had one fella who booked and then did not even check his diary until the day before and then cancelled.  Thats naughty, very naughty. Please dont contact me again.

I am pretty sure that these guys are not timewasters (well not on purpose) and I am sure they can find a lady who will happily accept a booking after constantly cancelling on her, but unfortunately that lady is not me.  Please think about it when you make a booking; shouldnt you be cherishing and guarding your ‘you time’ anyway?  Put the date in your diary, have a sexy thought (or 5 ;) and dont let anything (apart from the obvious life changing events or illness) get in the way of our shenanigans (at least not twice). Please.

In the spirit of this post, I wanted to find a rather strict picture but then I remembered this one  (above) that I saw, stopped in my tracks, went WOW and loved a while ago.  Its got a little bit of authority about it, dont you think?  Oh ok maybe not :) So strict but still sexy, can that work?

Thank you for your understanding, my reliable darlings x

London Blonde

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Elaborate Timewasters

Timewasters are of course part and parcel of this industry.  I fortunately dont have to deal with too many of them these days, but I have had a fair few try to fritter away what precious time we all have.  Some (one or two ) have succeeded.  Most have not.  Obviously, the more experienced one becomes, the more one is able to spot them a mile away and reject their silly advances.  Here is the latest one I received today…

Hello

I hope you do not mind but I came across your details on the Web. I am hoping the following will be of interest to you.

I am writing to you on behalf of a client that I have been instructed to find a suitable escort for his up and coming visit to the UK this summer.

My client who needs to remain anonymous at this stage is a famous Hollywood actor; he will be filming on location in London during this summer for a 4 week period. Here are his requirements:

• You will be required for 4 weeks working from Monday to Friday only, not weekends as he will fly back to be with his family in the U.S.A. This is a total of 20 days of your service.
• You will be staying in a 5 star penthouse apartment in London’s famous West End. You will have free use of the clients personal chauffeur service which (if you wish) he will drive you anywhere during the day taking you shopping etc.  All expenses (food & drink) will be paid for by my client.
• Your services will be required in the evenings only, typically 9.00pm to 1.00am, but you will be required to sleep over.
• You will be required to perform sex e.g. blow jobs & full intercourse.
• As the client is a famous Hollywood actor, & cannot be associated with you by the British Press, you will need to provide total discretion & secrecy at all times.

If you are successful and are happy to meet my client’s requirements you will be paid £1,000 per day plus £450 for your personal shopping desires; this is a total of £29,000 which will paid in cash. You will also have free use of the 5 star penthouse apartment & the clients personal chauffeur service when he is out during the day filming & at weekends when he is back home in the U.S.A.

There will also be an additional bonus of £8,000 cash paid if you have satisfied my client during his stay here in the UK. He will also be returning to the UK later in the year for more filming, so there is potential for additional work for you.   A potential for you to earn £37,000 cash for 4 weeks work.

As you can appreciate I have sent this email to a number of London based escorts, my client has asked that I submit him a final choice of 3 ladies for him to choose from. He has extremely high standards & unfortunately has been let down by a number of ladies in the past, hence why I have been commissioned to qualify a shortlist for him.

I hope you find this offer of interest, if you do then please can you email the following at:

xxxxx

• A recent picture of yourself in sexual alluring positions.
• Your available dates for 4 weeks this summer.
• Age, Height, weight, measurements.
• Your full contact details.
• What is your favourite sexual position, and what do you feel is the best way you can satisfy my client sexually.

I look forward to hearing from you shortly.

Thanking you in advance.

The clue to the motive is in the last question :)  Oh dear, some mother’s do have them dont they?

You see, just a simple peek at my website would have answered all his questions.  ie.  No I dont take bookings from a third party, I prefer not to see clients who have media interest, my fees are stated on my site as are my pics and I definitely dont get into titilating conversations to enable someone to get a cheap thrill.  Not that I mind distributing thrills, you understand, but there is a time and a place, dont you think? ;)

High Class London Escort

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That Shouldn’t Have Happened

I have a friend who values his time immensely.  And so he should; he is a very worthwhile individual.  I have learnt some things from him but I have to keep reminding myself of those things.

Life can be mundane, of course.  Here’s a boring story but it proves a point. I ordered some household items via direct delivery from a very well-known supermarket.  Just some odd things that you need around the house, nothing special just practical stuff.  They sent me the wrong things.  Now I dont have a car anymore because I am now a London gal :), I cant simply jump in and drive to the supermarket and return them.  No its a little trickier than that.  I look at the returns policy and they say I can return it to any store that begins with a T and ends in an O.  You know who it is now dont you? :)  So, I traipse down to the nearest store, after phoning them of course, to check that they will take it back.   ‘Oh yes’  they say.  So, duly traipsing (do you traipse too?) – quick diversion – I was trying  on a pair of heels in shoe shop recently and the guy serving me was a transvestite.  ‘Nothing wrong with that’ you say, but he said to me.  ‘Oh you didnt half mince when you walked over to the mirror’   Trying to be keep my balance love, trying to keep my balance,  and while we are at it, kettles and pots, kettles and pots  :)

Anyway, I digress, where was I?  Oh yes, so off I go to return said items only the manager says ‘No, cant do it, cant take them here’.   ‘Grrrr, but I phoned’  I protest ‘And someone said yes I could’  ‘Well that shouldn’t have happened’ he said (I swear I am going to have that inscribed on my tombstone or at least on a t-shirt).  So off I trudge (I traipse when I think I am on the right track and trudge when I think I am not) all the way home.  The ‘manager’ had told me that I should take it to this big T miles away and I was going to do it, forgot the bag though on the way to a sunday lunch.  So, I plan another day to do it and I phone the store.  ‘No, even though we are a massive superstore, selling everything in the world you can imagine, you cant bring it here’  he smugly says. Hmmm I detect a conspiracy.

So I call (hahaha) customer services (hahaha) and they say ‘Oh dear, you have been given the run around havent you?, that shouldn’t have happened‘   ‘Let us pick it up from you instead’  ‘Great!’ I say lovingly. ‘You have to stay in though, for the courier’  ‘Of course!’ I gush.  ‘What time? shall we say 11am?’    ‘Oh no, no, no’  says satan in a tabbard. ‘For 12 hours, 7am until 7pm’  My heart sinks.  ‘Cant you be more specific?’ say I ‘No, it is out of our hands’ she says.  So I took the day off and I waited, and waited, and waited FOR TWELVE WHOLE HOURS.

Just imagine what you could get up to in 12 hours.  Actually I did, we could fly to San Francisco or the Caribbean, be on a beach before you know it sipping Mai Tai’s saying ‘ T****? Who on earth (or put in the expletive that resonates with you) is that?

You know it, dont you?   The courier didnt turn up.  ‘That shouldn’t have happened‘  they said when I called after a few days of cooling off.

The point is though, I wasted roughly around 15 hours of my life for what?  Around £50.

So when they asked me if I wanted another courier booked, I took a deep calm breath and said; ‘No thank you, life is too short’

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London Restaurants…

Are undoubtedly some of the best in the world (the best possibly?) but what is it with the service charge?  I know its been around for ages and you probably dont even think about it.  But let’s think about it.  I always assumed that the cost of a meal included someone actually bringing it to you (call me old fashioned :) If you thought that the person bringing the items to the table was quick, friendly, knowledgable etc etc,  you may consider slipping him or her a little something on the side, to say ‘Thanks for looking after me’.  An incentive to be nice, that kind of thing.

But no, now there is a 12.5% service charge slapped on the bill automatically. Can you imagine going to see a ‘lady’ and her saying ‘Oh that will be an extra 12.5% because I opened the door and let you in’?  Ive seen worse though.  When I was in California for a few months, you could not get a second drink in a bar unless you gave a dollar tip – every single time you had a drink.  Every time, regardless of whether the service was poor, mediocre or diabolical.  They totally ignored you without the flash of a greenback but if they did deign to glance in your direction, the look they gave, honestly, turn a hot chick to stone it would.   Madness.

Mature Escort

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Saucy Emails

Escorts hate saucy emails and phone calls.  Let me elaborate.  Well, we dont hate them exactly it’s what lies behind them.

There happens to be (what feels like, lately) an army of cheeky so and so’s out there who get off on duping an escort into sending free saucy emails or responding to saucy texts or even answering questions of a saucy nature on the phone whilst pretending to be real clients.  They never have any intention of booking or even sometimes book and then cancel when you dont play the game.  When you challenge them, they reply ‘What I?’  hahaha (uncomfortable and unbelievable  laugh) ‘Oh no, I am not a perv!’.

So when I, personally, get an email constantly asking me to go into great detail about ‘wat i like’.  You can imagine my response cant you?  It not that we are ungenerous with our time and sauciness and I dont think prudity is a name you would care to hang on our well-cared for shoulders but we dont like to waste our generosity or supreme sauciness on such souls.  Oh no.

I understand that  there are perfectly fine and good and skilled ladies out there who for a small bounty will provide such a reciprocatory email or phone or even text service.  I would be loathe to put such a good girl out of business.

Luckily, I rarely get such requests and I am ever so polite when I do, unless they are blatantly crude and then a quick block via phone and email is in order.  But it seems the nicer you are, the harder they try. I have had a few recently and so I have to say this;

Gentlemen, although I am more than flattered by your amorous attentions, I do not and will not discuss what I would like you to do in the boudoir, neither will I go into a blow by blow (pardon the pun :) account of what I will do to you should I get my manicured mitts on your unmentionables.  I think my very comprehensive website will give you more than a few clues of what to expect should we get past the ‘tell me all about it stage’.  Enough said?

Ahhh, I feel better now, its good to talk (unless its free saucy nonsense of course hehehe :)

PS  A huge, massive, stupendous thank you for all the lovely birthday wishes, cards and prezzies.  I had a wonderful week, much love xxx

Escorts in the Southwest

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I Set my Apartment on Fire!

No it was not some steamy session!, here is what happened.  A kind Sir brought me a lovely bunch of lavender from his garden.  It reminded me of France.  I decided to let it dry out and kept it in a glass pot on the window sill.  The other day, I was joyfully getting ready for Mr B to arrive.  Mr B likes to come around for a nice dinner.  Roast Lamb is his favourite, so roast lamb it was.

The food was cooking nicely, everything was prepared.  I had had a lovely bath and pampering session and my next job was to light the candles. ‘Oh’  thought I, ‘Why dont I pop a little tea light in the bottom of the pot, where the lavender is?’.  ‘Then, the beautiful aroma of the lavender will drift up with the tea light heat and that will be lovely’.  Wont it?

Except that the dried out lavender caught alight and when I happened to walk into the living room, there was a mini fire on the window sill.  Luckily, it hadnt caught the drapes.  I was cool though, like the cucumber,  and just threw a damp cloth over it and left it.  Dippy, me?  Not usually :).   Oh just had a thought maybe I should have left it and called those handsome fire fighters out ;)

10 points to the reader who spots the connection of this story with the pic – the late but lovely Jim Morrison.

PS.  Fully booked for London in December, almost fully booked for London in November, some dates left for Dubai in December.  Full info HERE my lovelies x

Escorts in the Southwest

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I Cannot Live Without it!

Electricity.  I had a little power cut this week just as I was preparing for a gent.  That is bad enough but I had to cancel this lovely gent once before last year and he had to cancel me the other week.  So it seemed that the naughty imp we call fate was playing silly tricks again.

Yes I have candles, lots of candles but I was just about to make my preparations for this gent.  I couldnt believe how much I rely on electricity.  Don’t get me wrong, I know we can survive perfectly well without it.  I myself spent a fair amount of time in remote villages in the South Pacific sans electricity.  But now?, here?  No I have to have it.  I couldn’t have a bath/shower.  I couldn’t use my hair dryer.  I couldnt even phone the power company to let them know of the utter disaster that had befallen me as my landline was one of those that relies on electricity.  Thank God for mobiles, but when the battery runs out and there is no electricity to charge it?

So I try and get the telephone number for the electricity company, only my internet connection has died – no electricity you see.  Yellow pages then.

The Telegraph has suggested recently that widespread power cuts are on their way.  I am off to buy generators and wind up hairdryers and solar powered phones, except they wont work because we dont get any sun.  While I am at it I shall put together a car survival pack containing all the essentials for a quick trip up the M5 including 3 days supply of water, blankets,  a funnel and an empty plastic water bottle (think about it), a stress management cd  and some cadbury’s chocolate.

Plymouth Escort

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