Archive for the ‘Woes’ Category
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
I have a friend who values his time immensely. And so he should; he is a very worthwhile individual. I have learnt some things from him but I have to keep reminding myself of those things.
Life can be mundane, of course. Here’s a boring story but it proves a point. I ordered some household items via direct delivery from a very well-known supermarket. Just some odd things that you need around the house, nothing special just practical stuff. They sent me the wrong things. Now I dont have a car anymore because I am now a London gal :), I cant simply jump in and drive to the supermarket and return them. No its a little trickier than that. I look at the returns policy and they say I can return it to any store that begins with a T and ends in an O. You know who it is now dont you? :) So, I traipse down to the nearest store, after phoning them of course, to check that they will take it back. ‘Oh yes’ they say. So, duly traipsing (do you traipse too?) – quick diversion – I was trying on a pair of heels in shoe shop recently and the guy serving me was a transvestite. ‘Nothing wrong with that’ you say, but he said to me. ‘Oh you didnt half mince when you walked over to the mirror’ Trying to be keep my balance love, trying to keep my balance, and while we are at it, kettles and pots, kettles and pots :)
Anyway, I digress, where was I? Oh yes, so off I go to return said items only the manager says ‘No, cant do it, cant take them here’. ‘Grrrr, but I phoned’ I protest ‘And someone said yes I could’ ‘Well that shouldn’t have happened’ he said (I swear I am going to have that inscribed on my tombstone or at least on a t-shirt). So off I trudge (I traipse when I think I am on the right track and trudge when I think I am not) all the way home. The ‘manager’ had told me that I should take it to this big T miles away and I was going to do it, forgot the bag though on the way to a sunday lunch. So, I plan another day to do it and I phone the store. ‘No, even though we are a massive superstore, selling everything in the world you can imagine, you cant bring it here’ he smugly says. Hmmm I detect a conspiracy.
So I call (hahaha) customer services (hahaha) and they say ‘Oh dear, you have been given the run around havent you?, that shouldn’t have happened‘ ‘Let us pick it up from you instead’ ‘Great!’ I say lovingly. ‘You have to stay in though, for the courier’ ‘Of course!’ I gush. ‘What time? shall we say 11am?’ ‘Oh no, no, no’ says satan in a tabbard. ‘For 12 hours, 7am until 7pm’ My heart sinks. ‘Cant you be more specific?’ say I ‘No, it is out of our hands’ she says. So I took the day off and I waited, and waited, and waited FOR TWELVE WHOLE HOURS.
Just imagine what you could get up to in 12 hours. Actually I did, we could fly to San Francisco or the Caribbean, be on a beach before you know it sipping Mai Tai’s saying ‘ T****? Who on earth (or put in the expletive that resonates with you) is that?
You know it, dont you? The courier didnt turn up. ‘That shouldn’t have happened‘ they said when I called after a few days of cooling off.
The point is though, I wasted roughly around 15 hours of my life for what? Around £50.
So when they asked me if I wanted another courier booked, I took a deep calm breath and said; ‘No thank you, life is too short’
Escort Services London
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Thursday, February 25th, 2010
Are undoubtedly some of the best in the world (the best possibly?) but what is it with the service charge? I know its been around for ages and you probably dont even think about it. But let’s think about it. I always assumed that the cost of a meal included someone actually bringing it to you (call me old fashioned :) If you thought that the person bringing the items to the table was quick, friendly, knowledgable etc etc, you may consider slipping him or her a little something on the side, to say ‘Thanks for looking after me’. An incentive to be nice, that kind of thing.
But no, now there is a 12.5% service charge slapped on the bill automatically. Can you imagine going to see a ‘lady’ and her saying ‘Oh that will be an extra 12.5% because I opened the door and let you in’? Ive seen worse though. When I was in California for a few months, you could not get a second drink in a bar unless you gave a dollar tip – every single time you had a drink. Every time, regardless of whether the service was poor, mediocre or diabolical. They totally ignored you without the flash of a greenback but if they did deign to glance in your direction, the look they gave, honestly, turn a hot chick to stone it would. Madness.
Mature Escort
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Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
Escorts hate saucy emails and phone calls. Let me elaborate. Well, we dont hate them exactly it’s what lies behind them.
There happens to be (what feels like, lately) an army of cheeky so and so’s out there who get off on duping an escort into sending free saucy emails or responding to saucy texts or even answering questions of a saucy nature on the phone whilst pretending to be real clients. They never have any intention of booking or even sometimes book and then cancel when you dont play the game. When you challenge them, they reply ‘What I?’ hahaha (uncomfortable and unbelievable laugh) ‘Oh no, I am not a perv!’.
So when I, personally, get an email constantly asking me to go into great detail about ‘wat i like’. You can imagine my response cant you? It not that we are ungenerous with our time and sauciness and I dont think prudity is a name you would care to hang on our well-cared for shoulders but we dont like to waste our generosity or supreme sauciness on such souls. Oh no.
I understand that there are perfectly fine and good and skilled ladies out there who for a small bounty will provide such a reciprocatory email or phone or even text service. I would be loathe to put such a good girl out of business.
Luckily, I rarely get such requests and I am ever so polite when I do, unless they are blatantly crude and then a quick block via phone and email is in order. But it seems the nicer you are, the harder they try. I have had a few recently and so I have to say this;
Gentlemen, although I am more than flattered by your amorous attentions, I do not and will not discuss what I would like you to do in the boudoir, neither will I go into a blow by blow (pardon the pun :) account of what I will do to you should I get my manicured mitts on your unmentionables. I think my very comprehensive website will give you more than a few clues of what to expect should we get past the ‘tell me all about it stage’. Enough said?
Ahhh, I feel better now, its good to talk (unless its free saucy nonsense of course hehehe :)
PS A huge, massive, stupendous thank you for all the lovely birthday wishes, cards and prezzies. I had a wonderful week, much love xxx
Escorts in the Southwest
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Sunday, October 4th, 2009
No it was not some steamy session!, here is what happened. A kind Sir brought me a lovely bunch of lavender from his garden. It reminded me of France. I decided to let it dry out and kept it in a glass pot on the window sill. The other day, I was joyfully getting ready for Mr B to arrive. Mr B likes to come around for a nice dinner. Roast Lamb is his favourite, so roast lamb it was.
The food was cooking nicely, everything was prepared. I had had a lovely bath and pampering session and my next job was to light the candles. ‘Oh’ thought I, ‘Why dont I pop a little tea light in the bottom of the pot, where the lavender is?’. ‘Then, the beautiful aroma of the lavender will drift up with the tea light heat and that will be lovely’. Wont it?
Except that the dried out lavender caught alight and when I happened to walk into the living room, there was a mini fire on the window sill. Luckily, it hadnt caught the drapes. I was cool though, like the cucumber, and just threw a damp cloth over it and left it. Dippy, me? Not usually :). Oh just had a thought maybe I should have left it and called those handsome fire fighters out ;)
10 points to the reader who spots the connection of this story with the pic – the late but lovely Jim Morrison.
PS. Fully booked for London in December, almost fully booked for London in November, some dates left for Dubai in December. Full info HERE my lovelies x
Escorts in the Southwest
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Saturday, September 5th, 2009
Electricity. I had a little power cut this week just as I was preparing for a gent. That is bad enough but I had to cancel this lovely gent once before last year and he had to cancel me the other week. So it seemed that the naughty imp we call fate was playing silly tricks again.
Yes I have candles, lots of candles but I was just about to make my preparations for this gent. I couldnt believe how much I rely on electricity. Don’t get me wrong, I know we can survive perfectly well without it. I myself spent a fair amount of time in remote villages in the South Pacific sans electricity. But now?, here? No I have to have it. I couldn’t have a bath/shower. I couldn’t use my hair dryer. I couldnt even phone the power company to let them know of the utter disaster that had befallen me as my landline was one of those that relies on electricity. Thank God for mobiles, but when the battery runs out and there is no electricity to charge it?
So I try and get the telephone number for the electricity company, only my internet connection has died – no electricity you see. Yellow pages then.
The Telegraph has suggested recently that widespread power cuts are on their way. I am off to buy generators and wind up hairdryers and solar powered phones, except they wont work because we dont get any sun. While I am at it I shall put together a car survival pack containing all the essentials for a quick trip up the M5 including 3 days supply of water, blankets, a funnel and an empty plastic water bottle (think about it), a stress management cd and some cadbury’s chocolate.
Plymouth Escort
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Thursday, August 13th, 2009
I met a kindly gent recently who said he felt like James Bond going through my screening/timewaster removal process. He found it ever so exciting, and by proxy I find that exciting! Anyway, yes I do have a few leaps and bounds but the prize is always worth it ;) Let me explain my system. Well, first of all we have the email. Email grunts like ‘i wan u, call me‘ or ‘i need a **** , cum round now‘ will certainly get top priority, not. A lovely email, however, with a little introduction and some details about dates and times will definitely stimulate my interest :)
Emails from leaders of stag parties wanting me to perform all night for a bunch of drunken lads singing rugby songs and requests for unusual antics with ping pong balls usually get a polite ‘no thanks’ or even an impolite ‘buggar off’ reply. Can you imagine? No really, can you imagine??!!!!
I dont get many phone calls from uknown persons these days as I have taken my number off the site but the number still lurks around in the deep recesses of the net and contact mags (how 70’s is that?) steal details off online escort directories and then I get the odd call saying ”ow much luv?’ or ‘Got any details?’ I delight in these calls and give them my full attention, obviously.
So after the first initial introduction…… ohh you will just have to see. What a tease I am! hahaha xxx
Devon Escort
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Friday, August 7th, 2009
Yes I am back! I had a lovely break, thank you so much to everyone for the happy holiday wishes.
Now, a little about cancellations.. ..
Here is how I try to organise things. I take very few bookings these days. I usually know a week in advance what bookings I have and I plan my other life accordingly – yes I do have one ;) Now, I know that sometimes life and stuff gets in the way and plans cannot be fulfilled but I would ask you fellas to remember that I only see a very few special clients and therefore may have turned away several (lots of) bookings to make sure your special day was honoured. When I have a cancellation, this means that, as I dont take same day bookings, I will have lost out financially. Could you please, please ensure that you will be able to make your booking? I have been thinking of ways around this, one being the system I have on my tours in that I have a cancellation list. But I dont think that would work for normal bookings as gentlemen have usually made other arrangements when I tell them I am not available. So my other option is to have a deposit system, a lot of ladies do. I already do this for my lunches and my dinners and it works really well. Hmm I shall consider some more – what do you think?
Now then, I sound like a grumpy old mare just back from my hols dont I? Im not, I promise. I am rested, relaxed, tranquil, radiant and chilled. Ok, ok a little bit OTT on the ‘I had a laid back time’ front, but I did, more than – honestly!
Southwest Escort
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Wednesday, May 6th, 2009
Warning >>>>Rant Alert >>>>
Yes we have all had them and I have had a couple recently. What do I mean by that? Well, guys who contact you because they are interested in your services and then either blatantly (I dont get many of those but I know girls who do) disrespect you or try to do that in more subtle ways.
Here’s an example. I had a gent email me a week or so ago, introduced himself. All well and good. I replied and the counter-reply I got was “Oh that was very prompt, you could make a good PA if nothing else’ What the ****!!??? If nothing else???? Can you see how patronising that may be?
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and replied answering some of his questions. I then got another email with some other stuff and the question… ‘Why on earth do you do what you do!!?’ Exclaimation and questions marks included. Now, you may think that is an innocent question, maybe a fair one. I know however, what is behind that, and after blocking him forever, I set to thinking about what sort of a person feels so bad about themselves that they have to try and diminish someone else’s self respect. Luckily I am pretty secure in how I feel about ME. These episodes say far more about that person than they ever will say about me.
I am proud about what ’I do’. I think ‘us ladies’ and by saying that I am in no way just refering to myself, I speak about the many ladies out there; ‘us ladies’ are a little bit fab; actually no, we are a lot fab. We take pride in what we do. We go out of our way to be hospitable and ensure that a wonderful experience is had by our visitor, we make sure we look good, we like to make people feel special, we can converse about practically ANYTHING. We can listen and be a friend, we are skilled in sensuality, we are sassy, we are independent, strong and have a great sense of humour. Oh I could go on and on and I really dont want this to sound like a ‘I am the best person in the world’ kind of thing. No, I want those fellas out there who may run away with the idea that ‘us ladies’ are there to be treated unkindly, they need to think again and change the attitude.
Yes I am proud to be me and I am proud of what I do and I know many ladies like that too. (You will see a few of them on the links to the right) So please forgive this little rant, (as Mr P said, I havent had one for a while :) luckily on the whole I have respectful, kind and lovely clients, but what these tiny few do, or rather what they dont do is ever get to see nice ladies like us.
>>>>Rant Over>>>>
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
I am not keen on this company. For a start they charge you (the client) to look at an Escort’s profile, which will then usually lead you onto a website - you can easily do that for free just by typing in ‘plymouth escort’ or wherever you may happen to be. I don’t like the thought of some company charging you guys for something that can easily be accessed via the net for nothing. Thats the first thing. Secondly, they charge ladies an extortionate fee to advertise on the site too - I assume they target new ladies who dont know that they dont have to pay to advertise on the net. They must be making a fair bit of money from both sides. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for anyone setting up a business and trying to make an honest buck but I dont like rip offs. Platinum Select used to advertise heavily on Google with adwords – they used to pay to have their ads put on the top of searches. Google has stopped escort related sites from doing that now so Platinum Select will have to compete for space at the top of searches now. The third reason I dont like this company is that they have stolen my content not once but three times. I have had the previous two removed and am in the process of having this last theft removed too. What is interesting though is that the hosting company has informed me that they will terminate that site if this is not resolved satisfactorily. And you thought my skills were just in the boudoir! :) Watch this space.
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Monday, November 24th, 2008
Never the twain shall meet? Don’t you believe it. A part of me thinks that what we have, you and I darling reader, should not be sullied with mere politics or religion. No. Ours is a little world where we escape all of that mundane and restrictive nonsense. But, once again I am coerced, almost forced into writing this post (do I sound like a drama queen? ohh I feel like one hahaha)
Right then. This proposed legislation making it a criminal offence to have sex with a person ‘controlled for another person’s gain’ So what does that mean and what are the implications for us?
Well, the sentiments are right. Stop men abusing poor girls who have been brought over here with the promise of a job but are then forced to sleep with 20 men a day to pay off the ‘debt’ they have incurred for that passage. Likewise it was possibly, maybe intended to put a halt to those repulsive, hideous pimp characters. So far so good. But this new legislation is vague. It could mean someone working in a brothel/massage parlour gets targeted. It will definitely/probably mean someone working on the street. And it means that if you are a client of these ladies ( because this new law will prosecute the client) you could possibly get a criminal record if arrested and convicted.
We are ok, you and I. Because I am independent and I dont take drugs, I dont have a pimp ( I laugh at that thought) and I pay taxes, therefore we are safe, well for now. But lets just think about all of those people who will have to go underground and have even less protection via the police and also medical care. Those ladies who are trafficked. I shudder to think about what could happen to them now. I am not too concerned about massage parlour owners or even escort agency owners – I am a great believer in women having the empowerment to do her (own) thing. (Hmm, actually maybe us ‘ladies’ could teach them about feminism) but I do worry about the ladies who work in parlours and for agencies.
These people, the ones with the political power. I dont like to call them socialists, feminists – that is a label I think they would like to attach to themselves. Jacqui Smith, Harriot Harman et al, those self appointed moral guardians of womankind. These chicks ( I love the fact that they would baulk at that word, hehehe) are so intent on enforcing their own beliefs on the rest of us – ie. it is wrong for a person to supply/pay for sex , that they have totally disregarded a huge segment of this industry - hello! some of us actually want to do this!
Oh I dont know, maybe in the privacy of their own boudoirs they have an enforcement policy on the ‘partner’. I retch just thinking about these haridons representing me in parliament. These people are not wise in any sense of the word and they are not clever and they most certainly do not understand the human condition. This industry will most definitely , absolutely outlive them (it always will) but in terms of them steering it in the right direction, no I don’t think they have got it right. What do you think?
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