I have two tickets to see the brilliant comedian Dara O’Briain I would love one of my fellas to come and share the laughter with me. Here he is, the man himself.
Here’s the deal; tickets all paid for. Lets have an early pre-show dinner or perhaps a late one? Back to mine for a saucy tryst. Probably around five and a half hours in all. £400
Laughter is an aphrodisiac, you know, hehehe :)
I NOW HAVE A DATE, Sorry to those who were disappointed x
It looks like everyone will be back from their hols soon as my diary is filling up for September. Did you have a date in mind in September? Please contact me asap because I would love to see you then and I dont like to disappoint xx
Gents, I have been made an offer I couldnt possibly refuse and I am being whisked off to somewhere rather delightful – only from from 25th – 29th June though. I have a lunch date available on the 30th if that suits you? I am also available pre and post-footie for celebrations or commiserations, depending on our performance (not ours! the England team!) As always, please book early xx
Oh, I do hope they do well, its very frustrating to watch but I shall try…. Come on England!
Here’s a topical joke for you… (thanks Mr C)
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman’s husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there.
After a little while the little boy says, ‘Dark in here.
The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything, let alone from a little boy says, ‘Yes, it is.’
Boy – ‘I have a football.’
Man – ‘That’s nice.’
Boy – ‘Want to buy it?’
Man – ‘No, thanks.’
Boy – ‘My dad’s outside.’
Man – ‘OK, how much?’
Boy – ‘£ 250′
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy – ‘Dark in here.’
Man – ‘Yes, it is.’
Boy – ‘I have football boots.’
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘OK How much this time?’
Boy – ‘£ 750′
Man – ‘Sold.’
A few days later, the boys’ father says to the boy, ‘Grab your boots and ball, let’s go outside and have a game of football.
The boy says, ‘I can’t, I sold my ball and boots.’
The father asks, ‘How much did you sell them for and to who?’
The boy says, ‘To a friend of mine for a £ 1,000..’
The father says, ‘That’s a terrible thing to do, overcharging your friend like that’. ‘That’s four times what they cost when they were new, I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sins.’
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, ‘Dark in here’..
The priest says, ‘Don’t start that shit again you little prick, you’re in my cupboard now’!!
Some people get ever so upset over what us ladies choose to call our, ahem shall we say charges? They do honestly! I know, I know, life is too short to be worrying over semantics, let alone discussing them on the internet, but what can I say? I think I said it in another post actually – ‘some mother’s do have them’ and ‘far, far too much time on their hands’ :)
Anyway, you may have noticed my fees and available time going up and down, around and about and generally being a tad scatty. Call it me finding my way in London, getting an idea of what works, what the fellas want and what fits in with my life and my expenses here too.
I think I have settled on my tariff and made it simpler (lets see how many ‘fees‘ type’ words we can pop into this post shall we? Should satisfy even the most pedantic of souls; hell, I’ll even put them in bold & italics, I’m nice and helpful like that, hehe)
So I shall be thrilled to accompany you to a 3 hour lunch in central London for a backhander of £400. I will not be charging (can I count that one?) for taxi fares or travelling time.
A wonderful 4 hour dinner at your favourite restaurant is available at a bribery of £550.
If you are of a discreet mindset, my lunches and dinners are always available here for a minor enticementand give me the opportunity to spoil you.
A 2 hour, 2 course lunch is available for a donation of £400. This replaces my straight 2 hour fee of £400 and also includes champagne if you want it! (excellent value Rhia, I hear you cry!)
And what about a lovely evening to include the most delicious of 3 courses plus champagne or fine wine all wrapped up spiffingly in a romantic 3 hours? - a snip, a bargain at a cost of just £550.
I believe the usual requirement for London ladies is £300 per hour and although I dont want to de-value myself, I also appreciate that times are difficult right now and hope that the above prices (oh I cant bear that one!) considerations are ok for you.
See you very soon, I hope! x
PS. I will still honour any 2 hour dates already booked prior to today.
Yes! I am bringing back the Champagne & Lobster Lunches and Dinners!
Do you remember, they were really popular when I was in Devon? Well, I have managed to source some Cornish lobsters and get them sent to me in London under ice. How fab is that?
Oh, I am really pleased to be able to put that back on as a date, so do you fancy it? Lobster and a little something sparkly, followed by a little something extra-saucy? ;)
I can also offer a super-duper luxury lobster lunch or dinner with a rather fine Dom Perignon 1999 Vintage Champagne. A totally outstanding year, that’s if you are in a celebratory mood of course :)
” I drink it when I am happy, and when I am sad. Sometimes I drink it when I am alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I am not hungry, and drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it – unless I am thirsty‘
- Madame Lily Bollinger, when asked ‘When is the best time to drink Champagne?’
PS Forgot to mention, I am away playing golf in Spain from 18-24 March and only have a few available dates left in March so please get in touch if you would like to see me next month, til then xx
I am doing it this year. The English Social Season. I can do it all in one year now; Now that I am here, in London.
So we start off with The Chelsea Flower Show and then Glyndeborne, Epsom and Royal Ascot, oh and the polo (love Cartier), Wimbledon, Henley Regatta, Cowes (oh no, I have to leave London!) and the Last Night of the Proms. Have I forgotten anything?, emails and comments are gratefully received.
I am like that, I will do them all in one year. I once went to all the music festivals (well, most of them) around the UK during one summer. Great fun. Well, it has to be done doesnt it? and then you have tales to tell, makes you a little bit interesting you see. I just need some fine chaps to send some invites my way re: The Season ;) Oh and I need a new frock (or two) and a hat.
PS. Available post-photo shoot on the 14th – yes Valentine’s Day!! – My plans have changed for this day and I am now available so if you would like a lovely private dinner here with moi as the dessert please get in touch. x
I have been approached, (oh ‘er) yes I have! By a few fair gents who have said that they cannot find the time in their busy schedules for a lunch or dinner date appointment. (What!! when I rule the world, it will be law that people take time for extended lunches followed by friskiliciousness, vote Rhia :)
So being ever so obliging (and you know it!) I have put on my fees page, a new 2 hour appointment rate sans food. Not the same fees as Plymouth sadly as this is London after all! But not too outrageous, I hope you agree. The lucky, super-lucky boys on my VIP list however do get special offers every other month, and as for my regulars? Well, I look after them very well because they look after me.
Oh dont stop me, I am getting very excited! Here’s how it goes. Dreams of twinkly lights and frosty mornings (we dont spend too long being frosty of course:) roaring fires and Christmas hampers. Roast goose with all the trimmings. Real Christmas trees and mulled wine. Pulling a cracker (please see my availability below :)
Oh and singing and being merry and having a kiss under the mistletoe and being all sentimental and really embracing life and just enjoying it all, commercialised or not. I dont really care about what some say about the shift from a ‘Christian’ Christmas to a ‘commercialised’ one. Not one jot. As far as I can see, they (‘they’ being organised religion – we will have to have a chat one day about disorganised religion I think :), anyway, they ruthlessly stole it from the Druids/Pagans anyway. I like the mistletoe and the holly and the yule log etc etc – all pagan. In fact all the things I like were from the old religion if you want to call it that. The one this fair land had long before they started burning lovely ladies at the stake. Women who’s only crime was to heal with herbs and things and be wise. Yes you may call me a heathen.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. A proper tree this year. I just have to persuade a fine and handsome and strapping young man to carry the devil (tree) up the stairs and I have just the specimen in mind (the man I mean hehehe). I am going to have twinkly lights on it. (the tree not the man! ohhh, or maybe both!) Yes I am. And I will be playing Christmassy songs from now onwards – only kidding! They will commence when I return from my London tour.
So as you can see I have overdosed on Christmas catalogues already and I am going to be awfully busy in December with not one but two tours in place. So Gentlemen, here is my availablity for the decadent month of december. I dont have to add – Book Early! do I?
December 1st – 4th – London – FULLY BOOKED
December 7th – 13th – Plymouth – Available in Plymouth
December 14th – 22nd – Dubai – Almost fully booked but some availability
December 23rd & 24th – Available in Plymouth
Thats it folks until the new year x
PS There will, as in the spirit of all celebrations be complimentary champagne on the following days….
23rd & 24th December
I wont say it yet the M**** C******** thing but I want to, I do! :) x
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls, occasionally - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while.
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For the Gents who like to know what's what, I have an email newsletter where I send you advance notice of specials, new pics, tours etc. Please email me at rhiacharles@yahoo.co.uk and I will add you right away.
Oh dont stop me, I am getting very excited! Here’s how it goes. Dreams of twinkly lights and frosty mornings (we dont spend too long being frosty of course:) roaring fires and Christmas hampers. Roast goose with all the trimmings. Real Christmas trees and mulled wine. Pulling a cracker (please see my availability below :)
