Designer Vagina
Monday, January 9th, 2012There was a march recently. There are always bloomin’ marches in London. Usually they just get on your nerves because they hold up your cab or whatever. I remember one of my friends saying to some people causing bloody havoc last year; ‘Now you really do need to get out of my way because I have a lunch reservation at Petrus and I really, really cant be late’ hahahaha!
Most of these marches are a complete and utter waste of time apart from venting your frustration at the powers that be/your adversary. This I can say with a degree of confidence having been on many, many marches, protests and the like in my youth (mainly against animal cruelty).
So that said, I dont normally take note of a demo, but this one made me chortle. A group of lasses (I am making the assumption they are all lasses; if a man was there, well, why??) Ohh Ive just seen one in the photo below, again, why?? Whats it got to do with you Mister? Actually, on closer inspection he has the tabard of a council worker who has obvious been temporarily initiated into the ’cause’ (but I am pre-empting myself)
‘ey whats this all abaat then?’
‘Its about muffs, you know vaginas’
‘Ooer am well into themm I am, yeh, yeh, yeh. Gimme a stick luv, and wot you doin’ later darlin’?’
It was called the, oh wait for it…
The Muff March. Brilliant.
A small band of ladies who have nothing else to do but march along Harley Street about designer vaginas. I can think of heeps of things I would rather spend my time doing like , oh well you know ;)
Or I can think of numerous brilliant causes to help out for a few hours.
Or I can think of loads of other ways to try and change the world. But Im afraid Muff Marches ain’t one of them.
So here’s the lowdown. These ladies are incensed, bloody furious, totally incandescent with rage because there is such a thing as labiaplasty. Thats where a surgeon rearranges your lady bits to look… well I am not quite sure what they will look like to be honest, not having sought out that particular form of rearrangement (or any, I hasten to add, although I am not against people doing their ‘thang’, you know – if it makes you happy and all that).
I loved the signs though – Mitts off my muff, (I should have one with Mitts on my muff, thank you kindly’) mutts for muffs (the little doggy with a sign on there – well he doesnt look embarassed at all does he??)
“Hey fido, look at the camera fido!”
‘F**k off, she told me we were just going for a walk’
“Come on fido, look over here”
‘Nope, not even going to turn round mate. Take a pic of my arse because thats how strongly I feel about this crap, mutts for muffs FFS, look at the arse cos the face aint listening’
They have called themselves ‘The Muffia’ its a joke right? :) Again brilliant. Oh I do love London.
Oh and my fav twitter tweet today…. in response to Anthony Worrall Thompson’s shop lifting
Note to self: When a recipe says, ‘take half a dozen eggs, 4oz plain flour, 4 oz sugar etc, it is not telling me to steal them.
Naughty! :)
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, anecdotes, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while.