It used to be a euphemism for being a tad ‘over-refreshed’; seeing pink elephants, so you can imagine my dismay when I started seeing them all over London, and they werent just pink either; they were bright blue and multi- coloured, some had crazy designs all over them. They were outside The Dorchester, Sloane Square and again in Berkeley Square.
‘What is this?’, I said to myself, ”Ive not had a drop!’. Actually, Ive just found out that it is some fantastic scheme to raise money for the endangered asian elephant. Top designers and artists have painted lifesize models of baby elephants and they are displayed in various spots around London. They will eventually be auctioned off to raise funds for a great charity.
I love elephants, they are my favourite animal and I have been lucky enough to see them in the wild in both Africa and Asia and I sponsored a tiny orphaned elephant once so I am definitely behind this new inititiative.
Mr M popped around the other day and told me that he had donated a significant sum to one of my nominated charities listed to the right below. I was over the moon, that is so great and I know that particular charity quite well so they will be so grateful for the funds and I know they will use it well. Thanks again Mr M xx
So if you have room in your garden for a lifesize baby elephant statue, why not bid for one?, it will look equally as fetching in the grounds of your business premises too, no doubt (and I believe it may be tax deductable? ;)
I went to the theatre the other day to see Mrs Warren’s Profession, a racy (at the time, but oh so tame now) play by Bernard Shaw about prostitution in the Victorian era. Felicity Kendall played Mrs Warren, a high class madam and was excellent. The play was actually banned for thirty years, so of course I had to go and see it :)
Shaw’s production was very clever in its portrayal of Victorian hypocrisy, no wonder it caused such an outcry and to some extent you may say that not much has changed. There is a very sad ending which I wont spoil for you. I thoroughly recommend it, it’s at The Comedy Theatre in Piccadilly.
PS Do you like the picture?, it is called The Courtesan and is by Jan van Beers (1852-1927). I would love the original but I think I may have to buy a print :)
We say ‘It’s amazing!’ when we look at older ladies and they look good. Why? I guess its that shallow culture of youth worship. Most fellas that I see want more than a young chick though. They want sensual and mature in thought. There are some guys of the young variety who prefer the older woman too. If I was a man I think thats what I would do, like mature women. I am not talking about stalking the local old folks home here, just an appreciation of ladies over the age of 35 who have looked after themselves, and have that certain je nais ce quoi. You know what I mean. These ladies have also lived a little and have a tale or two to tell, they are interesting and wise. Phew! what a heady combination.
Let’s have a roll call of my favourite ‘mature’ ladies…
Top Row L-R. Michelle Pfieffer, 52. Helen Mirren 65. Rene Russo, 56.
You are cordially invited to enjoy an amazing day out basking in the beautiful English sunshine with moi :)
Ive just added a few very gorgeous dates to my specials page. In addition to my lobster and champagne shenanigans, I have added some very special packages for the English Social Season.
So we have;
The Last Night of the Proms
Henley Royal Regatta
Royal Ascot
Chelsea Flower Show – sorry fully booked
Cartier Polo
Cowes – sorry fully booked
Epsom – sorry fully booked
Wimbledon Tennis Championship
and Glyndeborne
If you relish the thought of being my wonderful companion at any of the above and you cant possibly imagine the summer without seeing me in a fancy hat, then please get in touch. (Of course, I am open to persuasion, bribery and general enticement to any event you would like to attend).
Feminism. Well, I think we all know the basics of that, dont we? I remember as a young child reading about dear Emily Pankhurst & Co, or it may have been something on tv. Anyway, I remember thinking, ‘When I can vote I am so not going to let those ladies down’. ‘I will always vote’. My big sister never voted, couldnt be bothered and I used to chastise her. ‘Do you know what those women went through!…..‘ I used to yell, and so on and so forth. As I get older and even more sexier ;), the point is, what those beautiful and honourable ladies started in their quest for votes for women was the thought process of women being equal to men and they did all that so that we could have a choice really. So if my big sis chooses not to vote, then thats her choice isnt it?
Likewise if I choose to wear green, red or black, paint my face, wear killer heels, dress down or up or even, God forbid, become a floozy ;) – thats my choice. Isnt it? Yes. What’s brought all this on? I hear you say. Well, I went to The Criterion Restaurant the other day, its on Picadilly and guess what? That is where the suffragettes used to meet. What a stylish place to meet, very impressive.
Now then, having said all of the above, and having had 92 years of voting rights and 50 years of sexual revolution (not me personally of course), we still have a dilemma. I like men (gentlemen) to treat me like a lady. I like being feminine. I like to call men ‘gentlemen’ because I can and I want to and there aren’t too many people out there who can stop me doing what I choose to do.
So, what exactly is a ‘lady’? Well, in my humble opinion, it is someone who has impeccable manners, goes out of her way to make someone feel comfortable, is gracious, charming and kind. She in addition may be sophisticated, elegant, educated, cultured and well connected, but not necessarily so. The key, I think ( and please do tell me if you disagree), the key is in these words; respectful, gracious, charming and kind.
If someone thinks that I am worth treating like a lady, it does not mean that I am weak, it does not mean that I need looking after. It means that they like me enough to look out for me, make my life a little bit more comfortable. Likewise, I like to look after my fellas, in any way that I can. I like to behave like a lady.
Years of the vile lad and ladette culture, it seems to me has bred a mindset of total disrespect for themselves and others. and I am not talking soley about teenagers here. I dont tend to go out to bars or clubs – actually never. Alright, maybe the odd exquisite champagne bar. But I had a little experience lately and I also see these things on forums – escort related forums. Some of these men are so utterly disrespectful of women, no actually, of other human beings and therefore themselves that I do wonder if the age of chivalry is lost forever. Im not talking about knights and shining armour here, (or should that be amour? ;) Im talking about basic human decency like getting up out of a seat because someone else either needs it more than you or because you want to brighten someone’s day or even holding a door open for someone (male or female) or even, yes even being kind for the sake of it.
Of course we also have the other side of the coin. The feminazi who if truth be told are a little bonkers really. The militant feminists, I think, have never done us any favours. Its all gone a little bit wrong. Seeing good manners as offensive behaviour is never going to be good or progressive.
Here’s the thing. If you dont respect yourself, you surely cant expect someone else to respect you. Likewise, why oh why would you want to spend your life disrespecting other people? Is that a reflection on your inner self? So maybe this ardent feminism has garnered the totally opposite effect to what was wanted. Instead of having men respect women as valuable members of society we have a selection of folks who hate each other.
I was on the tube the other day (yes, now I live here in London, I travel on the tube, just until I get my car and driver, of course hehe :) and an elderly lady and gent got on. I was sat down and immediately got up to give the lady my seat. Its what you do isnt it? I never dreamt that she may be offended at that and she wasnt but I have heard tales of you fellas doing that for a lady, any lady and you get told off. You wont from me, thats for sure. Now, I am not saying I am Mother Theresa for getting up or anything like that, not better than anyone else and I dont want a medal. But no-one else was going to do that and when I did it, the guy next to me then stood up to let the man sit down too. Everyone else looked as though something weird had happened. There was a very uncomfortable vibe.
What is all this about? and what on earth has that got to do with feminism? Its more to do with the respect thing really, somewhere along the line, its all got a little bit muddled up. All of the ladies I know would love guys to be gentlemen again. Lets bring back Emily and get a movement going – ‘Seats for Women!’ and not just in parliament, or maybe we could sit on your knee? ;)
Joan Rivers once said that if you go out to dinner with anyone apart from yourself you should have at least 3 good stories to tell. That is excellent isnt it? I am lucky that when I dine out, whether it be with my lovely clients or friends, soon-to-be friends etc, there is never that awkward slience. Everyone has an interesting tale to tell. But I have been in situations where I have seen people squirm with embarassment, desperately thinking, ‘what can I say?”, what can I say?’. I usually cant bear those silences and jump in with something.
3 things, take them with you – regale, delight and enthrall!
Where have I been lately? Well I went to La Gavroche (thank you so, so much Mr!) – totally amazing and a new contender for my best restaurant in the UK (world actually), also went to Corrigans in Mayfair and had a schnitzel off a food stall on Portobello market, see how versatile I am? I will be in so much in trouble for that! (sorry mum and all my teachers) Oh and a couple of restaurants that I went to with some friends that were ok but not worth a mention.
Do you remember me enthusing about the foodie market that happened in Plymouth once a year? Well, they happen every week here in London. Yes!! Ive been to Pimlico market and Borough Market and all manner of fab deli’s. If ever there was an opportunity to be greedy, it is here. Off to the gym then. x
I have a friend who values his time immensely. And so he should; he is a very worthwhile individual. I have learnt some things from him but I have to keep reminding myself of those things.
Life can be mundane, of course. Here’s a boring story but it proves a point. I ordered some household items via direct delivery from a very well-known supermarket. Just some odd things that you need around the house, nothing special just practical stuff. They sent me the wrong things. Now I dont have a car anymore because I am now a London gal :), I cant simply jump in and drive to the supermarket and return them. No its a little trickier than that. I look at the returns policy and they say I can return it to any store that begins with a T and ends in an O. You know who it is now dont you? :) So, I traipse down to the nearest store, after phoning them of course, to check that they will take it back. ‘Oh yes’ they say. So, duly traipsing (do you traipse too?) – quick diversion – I was trying on a pair of heels in shoe shop recently and the guy serving me was a transvestite. ‘Nothing wrong with that’ you say, but he said to me. ‘Oh you didnt half mince when you walked over to the mirror’ Trying to be keep my balance love, trying to keep my balance, and while we are at it, kettles and pots, kettles and pots :)
Anyway, I digress, where was I? Oh yes, so off I go to return said items only the manager says ‘No, cant do it, cant take them here’. ‘Grrrr, but I phoned’ I protest ‘And someone said yes I could’ ‘Well that shouldn’t have happened’ he said (I swear I am going to have that inscribed on my tombstone or at least on a t-shirt). So off I trudge (I traipse when I think I am on the right track and trudge when I think I am not) all the way home. The ‘manager’ had told me that I should take it to this big T miles away and I was going to do it, forgot the bag though on the way to a sunday lunch. So, I plan another day to do it and I phone the store. ‘No, even though we are a massive superstore, selling everything in the world you can imagine, you cant bring it here’ he smugly says. Hmmm I detect a conspiracy.
So I call (hahaha) customer services (hahaha) and they say ‘Oh dear, you have been given the run around havent you?, that shouldn’t have happened‘ ‘Let us pick it up from you instead’ ‘Great!’ I say lovingly. ‘You have to stay in though, for the courier’ ‘Of course!’ I gush. ‘What time? shall we say 11am?’ ‘Oh no, no, no’ says satan in a tabbard. ‘For 12 hours, 7am until 7pm’ My heart sinks. ‘Cant you be more specific?’ say I ‘No, it is out of our hands’ she says. So I took the day off and I waited, and waited, and waited FOR TWELVE WHOLE HOURS.
Just imagine what you could get up to in 12 hours. Actually I did, we could fly to San Francisco or the Caribbean, be on a beach before you know it sipping Mai Tai’s saying ‘ T****? Who on earth (or put in the expletive that resonates with you) is that?
You know it, dont you? The courier didnt turn up. ‘That shouldn’t have happened‘ they said when I called after a few days of cooling off.
The point is though, I wasted roughly around 15 hours of my life for what? Around £50.
So when they asked me if I wanted another courier booked, I took a deep calm breath and said; ‘No thank you, life is too short’
I hope you had a good weekend my darlings, mine was very hectic – just how I like it :)
I went to the Saachi gallery in Chelsea and I know its ever so fashionable to be into modern art, and although I found it interesting, would I have any of those pieces in my home?, probably not. As I say though, very interesting. I was with a few gals and so didnt get a chance to really examine everything as long as I would like (they spotted a cake shop :) but then again I think someone once said that art has to touch you, if not then the piece is not for you. Modern art though strikes me as being a bit different. Sublminal messages if you like. I did some deconstruction of film when I was at uni and it reminded me of that.
I also went on a London ghost tour. Whooooooooo. Oh yes, I love anything like that, gory, gory, gory. Dont worry though, I dont have gory tendancies towards you young man, just step into my lair, thats it… hahaha
Anyway, it was as mad as you like, this tour. They had actors who were meant to give atmosphere to the thing but it was like being sat next to the nutter on the bus, you know the one and he always chooses you. A really funny time though :)
And then I went to Nobu – I told you I was busy didnt I? You know Nobu, that top Japanese restaurant on Park Lane that all the celebs go to (Victoria Beckham’s favourite, I hear). We didnt see any celebs but we did spend a very pleasant afternoon munching through 7 courses – they were tiny, honest!!
It looks like another busy week for me chaps, I may have a teeny space in my diary over the weekend, failing that it will be 9 or 17 March. See you soon?
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, anecdotes, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while - and make a comment when you feel the need; I like that x
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It used to be a euphemism for being a tad ‘over-refreshed’; seeing pink elephants, so you can imagine my dismay when I started seeing them all over London, and they werent just pink either; they were bright blue and multi- coloured, some had crazy designs all over them. They were outside The Dorchester, Sloane Square and again in Berkeley Square.
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, anecdotes, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while - and make a comment when you feel the need; I like that x
