I have a friend who values his time immensely. And so he should; he is a very worthwhile individual. I have learnt some things from him but I have to keep reminding myself of those things.
Life can be mundane, of course. Here’s a boring story but it proves a point. I ordered some household items via direct delivery from a very well-known supermarket. Just some odd things that you need around the house, nothing special just practical stuff. They sent me the wrong things. Now I dont have a car anymore because I am now a London gal :), I cant simply jump in and drive to the supermarket and return them. No its a little trickier than that. I look at the returns policy and they say I can return it to any store that begins with a T and ends in an O. You know who it is now dont you? :) So, I traipse down to the nearest store, after phoning them of course, to check that they will take it back. ‘Oh yes’ they say. So, duly traipsing (do you traipse too?) – quick diversion – I was trying on a pair of heels in shoe shop recently and the guy serving me was a transvestite. ‘Nothing wrong with that’ you say, but he said to me. ‘Oh you didnt half mince when you walked over to the mirror’ Trying to be keep my balance love, trying to keep my balance, and while we are at it, kettles and pots, kettles and pots :)
Anyway, I digress, where was I? Oh yes, so off I go to return said items only the manager says ‘No, cant do it, cant take them here’. ‘Grrrr, but I phoned’ I protest ‘And someone said yes I could’ ‘Well that shouldn’t have happened’ he said (I swear I am going to have that inscribed on my tombstone or at least on a t-shirt). So off I trudge (I traipse when I think I am on the right track and trudge when I think I am not) all the way home. The ‘manager’ had told me that I should take it to this big T miles away and I was going to do it, forgot the bag though on the way to a sunday lunch. So, I plan another day to do it and I phone the store. ‘No, even though we are a massive superstore, selling everything in the world you can imagine, you cant bring it here’ he smugly says. Hmmm I detect a conspiracy.
So I call (hahaha) customer services (hahaha) and they say ‘Oh dear, you have been given the run around havent you?, that shouldn’t have happened‘ ‘Let us pick it up from you instead’ ‘Great!’ I say lovingly. ‘You have to stay in though, for the courier’ ‘Of course!’ I gush. ‘What time? shall we say 11am?’ ‘Oh no, no, no’ says satan in a tabbard. ‘For 12 hours, 7am until 7pm’ My heart sinks. ‘Cant you be more specific?’ say I ‘No, it is out of our hands’ she says. So I took the day off and I waited, and waited, and waited FOR TWELVE WHOLE HOURS.
Just imagine what you could get up to in 12 hours. Actually I did, we could fly to San Francisco or the Caribbean, be on a beach before you know it sipping Mai Tai’s saying ‘ T****? Who on earth (or put in the expletive that resonates with you) is that?
You know it, dont you? The courier didnt turn up. ‘That shouldn’t have happened‘ they said when I called after a few days of cooling off.
The point is though, I wasted roughly around 15 hours of my life for what? Around £50.
So when they asked me if I wanted another courier booked, I took a deep calm breath and said; ‘No thank you, life is too short’
I hope you had a good weekend my darlings, mine was very hectic – just how I like it :)
I went to the Saachi gallery in Chelsea and I know its ever so fashionable to be into modern art, and although I found it interesting, would I have any of those pieces in my home?, probably not. As I say though, very interesting. I was with a few gals and so didnt get a chance to really examine everything as long as I would like (they spotted a cake shop :) but then again I think someone once said that art has to touch you, if not then the piece is not for you. Modern art though strikes me as being a bit different. Sublminal messages if you like. I did some deconstruction of film when I was at uni and it reminded me of that.
I also went on a London ghost tour. Whooooooooo. Oh yes, I love anything like that, gory, gory, gory. Dont worry though, I dont have gory tendancies towards you young man, just step into my lair, thats it… hahaha
Anyway, it was as mad as you like, this tour. They had actors who were meant to give atmosphere to the thing but it was like being sat next to the nutter on the bus, you know the one and he always chooses you. A really funny time though :)
And then I went to Nobu – I told you I was busy didnt I? You know Nobu, that top Japanese restaurant on Park Lane that all the celebs go to (Victoria Beckham’s favourite, I hear). We didnt see any celebs but we did spend a very pleasant afternoon munching through 7 courses – they were tiny, honest!!
It looks like another busy week for me chaps, I may have a teeny space in my diary over the weekend, failing that it will be 9 or 17 March. See you soon?
Are undoubtedly some of the best in the world (the best possibly?) but what is it with the service charge? I know its been around for ages and you probably dont even think about it. But let’s think about it. I always assumed that the cost of a meal included someone actually bringing it to you (call me old fashioned :) If you thought that the person bringing the items to the table was quick, friendly, knowledgable etc etc, you may consider slipping him or her a little something on the side, to say ‘Thanks for looking after me’. An incentive to be nice, that kind of thing.
But no, now there is a 12.5% service charge slapped on the bill automatically. Can you imagine going to see a ‘lady’ and her saying ‘Oh that will be an extra 12.5% because I opened the door and let you in’? Ive seen worse though. When I was in California for a few months, you could not get a second drink in a bar unless you gave a dollar tip – every single time you had a drink. Every time, regardless of whether the service was poor, mediocre or diabolical. They totally ignored you without the flash of a greenback but if they did deign to glance in your direction, the look they gave, honestly, turn a hot chick to stone it would. Madness.
Ohhh look what I do for you! I have put a journey planner on my site. On the ‘My Location’ page and to the right here on my blog. Just pop in where you are, click the button and it will tell you, quick as you like, how to get to me. Isnt that cute? And what a time saver. I know you are going to like it… a lot :) x
I am doing it this year. The English Social Season. I can do it all in one year now; Now that I am here, in London.
So we start off with The Chelsea Flower Show and then Glyndeborne, Epsom and Royal Ascot, oh and the polo (love Cartier), Wimbledon, Henley Regatta, Cowes (oh no, I have to leave London!) and the Last Night of the Proms. Have I forgotten anything?, emails and comments are gratefully received.
I am like that, I will do them all in one year. I once went to all the music festivals (well, most of them) around the UK during one summer. Great fun. Well, it has to be done doesnt it? and then you have tales to tell, makes you a little bit interesting you see. I just need some fine chaps to send some invites my way re: The Season ;) Oh and I need a new frock (or two) and a hat.
PS. Available post-photo shoot on the 14th – yes Valentine’s Day!! – My plans have changed for this day and I am now available so if you would like a lovely private dinner here with moi as the dessert please get in touch. x
Now then, I am old enough to know to giggle at that phrase; ‘Something for the weekend Sir?’ Very saucy that used to be. That or I had very old parents who used to laugh at such things (both really :)
”Something for the weekend Sir?” was a delicate phrase that barbers used to say to gentlemen barberees ( I know a another new word I just made up) – fellas having their hair cut and they meant, ‘Would you like a condom, Mister, you know for the weekend?’
Now you may wonder why on earth a barber would ask such a personal question, what a liberty indeed. But in those days and yes it was before I was born but I heard the phrase once as a child on TV I think, and it stuck in the Rhia annals of time. Once again, I digress; barbers would and could ask such questions because 1. there’s were one of the few places to actually sell condoms and 2. because gents (well British ones anyway) only seemed to get lucky at the weekend. Saturday night was traditional I believe, and that was with the wife. Not married? Hmm I think there was a longer wait then, unless you went to a certain Mademoiselle of the night …. :)
Anyway, when I am Doge, I will decree that everyone in the land shall take at least one week day off to have hanky panky. Do you think living in Westminster has gone to my head? You know the power and all of that?
But can you imagine, sorry boss cant come in tomorrow its my hanky panky day. And no the world would not come to a grinding halt because people would then be happy to carry on working the rest of the week, you see? The whole nation will be filled with happy, whistling chappies, oh yes. this fair land will be even fairer then.
Where has all of this come from??, I hear you ask. Well, today after a wonderful lunch in a private members club with Mister x, we spent a very decadent afternoon, fab wine, lots of giggles… and I got to thinking, well why doesnt everyone do this more often? How naughty, how relaxing, how lovely. It would save the NHS millions by eliminating stress-related problems too. Oh yes I can see it now, Harriet Harman launches the campaign for Hanky Panky! No?, cant see it? :)
I am very happy here you know. So far, so good. I am like a kiddie in a sweetie shop, I really am. So many great things to do and see, so many places to discover, places to eat and shop and explore. Oh yes, I dont think I could be dragged away from London right now, or for quite some time in fact. I made the right decision, definitely. Ive made new friends too. Yes, they say that London can be lonely but not if you want to meet new people.
I have joined the most fantastic new gym as well. I havent been for a few weeks, to the gym, what with moving and moving in, all that stuff. But now I am well and truly settled, everything in place, I have to get down that gym tomorrow. I have been keeping fit though. Ive been walking a lot, lot more than I would have in Plymouth. I used to just jump in the car but as said car is no more, it is shanks’ pony for me. Its done me good, a nice bit of cardiovascular and all that. Problem is that as you walk you get whiffs…. of lovely Chinese food or Thai food. Oh My God. I have resisted though (only because I am going to Chinatown over the weekend :)
I went to Covent Garden today, for lunch (thank you kind Sir x) and I popped into the saucy Coco de Mer shop, you know the one I wrote about ages ago. Anyway, its always nice to have a little browse around that shop. It makes me smile because although it is a very upmarket erotic boutique. You get people outside, across the road, looking, wondering, afraid to go in. So, I roll up in a taxi, step out and stroll in, bold as brass (pardon the pun:) Oh I wish more ladies would just step in, its great fun in there, honestly :) Didnt buy anything though, not this time ;)
I know I said I wasnt going to be doing too much travelling this year, but I have been bitten by the cold tooth of England -and it hurts :)
I fancy a detox, a spa break – in Thailand (again). However, I dont think I can take the time off. I have been looking though, at different options. Ohhh lovely places. I like Thailand, the last time I went I was backpacking on a year out; this time though, I want a teeny bit of luxury. I think with a spa break it has to be a stunning location where you go, thats therapeutic in itself isnt it? So I fancied a detox. No not like a alcoholic/drug addict detox, although refraining from the champers would not go amiss, I am sure ;) No I mean a serious, ‘get all that rubbish out of my system!’ detox and look and feel fantastic as a result of it.
I have been reading good things about detoxes but they sound absolutely horrific. Colon cleanses (I had one of those a few years back, not too bad, not nice though), nothing to eat but concocted juices ala carrot and beetroot, that sort of thing (will I start to munch on the furniture do you think?), I need to change my attitude – carrot and beetroot mush is GOOD!, massages – thats alright, yoga, fine with that. So not that bad at all really.
The problem is, I have thousands and thousands of flying club points with Virgin Atlantic and I wanted to use them for this but they dont fly to Thailand. They fly to lots of other places, yes but for some reason, it has to be Thailand for me, for this, if I venture abroad, maybe I should look into other places? Sooooo, after more initial research. I saw a place in Devon, a detox place. Didnt I just come from there? :) Devon in February? Not exactly inspiring or relaxing. Brrr. And then I got to thinking, why dont I just do it in London? You know do it myself. Pop out for massages (and yes another colonic), go to yoga classes every morning, blend my own juices, turn up the heating (sorry gas lady) and wear a bikini all week? Yes I could do that. The only problem is temptation. As the wonderful Oscar Wilde said ‘The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it… I can resist everything but temptation’.
I have many temptations here in London as you can imagine. One being getting an email from one of my fellas saying, ‘Ive booked us in at The Ivy, hope you are free lady!’ So what is a girl to do? Keep researching, thats what and do it next month, or the month after? :)
I want to know what it is for you. Tell me what is sexy food for you. Is it food you drip over your lover? Like spam fritters? (oh I am so joking, I am in a mischievous mood tonight!) Is it food that just puts you in ‘the mood’? Aphrodisiacs? Is it food that resemble genital parts? (like figs or bananas?) Or is it food that at that moment, that is what you absolutely fancy, crave even?
Ahhh. Now this is interesting. I once had a discussion with a lover. He said to me. ‘Why on earth would I want a hamburger when I have a steak at home’ (moi) Very lovely sentiment but I didnt buy into that totally, my argument was ‘Sometimes we just crave a hamburger and nothing else will do’ hehehe
Food, as you probably know is very important in my life. But I am becoming increasingly convinced that moderation is the key. Yes. I crave, drool over fish and chips if I havent had them for 6 months. If I had to eat them every week, no I wouldnt like it. Oh variety is the spice of life they say, and I have the opportunity to experience that and so do you – we all do in this country – in food, in wine, in travel , life experiences, anything we choose really. Of course there are things we may have experienced once or twice that we may never want to revisit and we know what they are dont we? ; mushy peas, puffer skirts and stag nights and thinking we can sing Whitney Houston songs on a Karaoke night. Yes, we can all walk that path of shame. No one is exempt from that path my friend :)
Ive just watched 9 1/2 weeks again. Phew! or should i say Phoar! Ok for you foodies :) out there here it is, a teeny snippet. Bon Appetit!
I have always loved the Secret Diaries of a Callgirl, the TV series. I have also read the blog and the books. I remember a couple of years ago, great debate in some forums. ‘She’ is a man!’ they cried or worse, ‘She is a journalist! :) I always maintained that in my humble opinion that she definitely was a working gal. I kind of knew she was. Not to say I am always right but it seemed right, what she was saying, writing about, you know?
But now we know dont we? Belle de Jour, the escort/call girl/whatever - behind the diary that inspired the series, well she has outed herself. I think I read because she had to, which is a shame, but whatever. I am sure (really hope) she will make the best of any prejudice she faces in her profession as a scientist because of it.
Belle de Jour is Dr Brooke Magnanti.
I have kind of shied away from reading about it all, writing about it even. I felt it was her personal stuff, you know? For the same reason, I never read anyone else’s reviews, never. I never do. Thats just me though, a bit peculiar that way.
I had my first dinner date last night, here in my place, I cooked it, we enjoyed it and my lovely boy said that he enjoyed the following interview and he suggested that you may like it too. (There are a few tedious adverts initially but persevere dear heart, persevere…)
So if you want to, have a look, its good. CLICK HERE.
For the Gents who like to know what's what, I have an email newsletter where I send you advance notice of specials, new pics, tours etc. Please email me at rhiacharles@yahoo.co.uk and I will add you right away.
What’s it all about Alfie?
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls, occasionally - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while.
I have a friend who values his time immensely. And so he should; he is a very worthwhile individual. I have learnt some things from him but I have to keep reminding myself of those things.
