Rhia Charles, high class escort in London

I Have to Stop This…

I did it again!  Do you remember the seriously alarming faux pas I made regarding blow drying and erm blowing?  You can remind yourself HERE.

You would think in view of that, well I would really be careful about what I say wouldnt you?  This time, its not quite soooo bad, but bad enough.

A couple of ladies and myself decided that we needed a little pampering afternoon (after the rigours of St Patrick’s Day of course – and because of this I have now given everything up for Lent by the way – well almost everything ;)

So I managed to get us a rather swish package at a swanky spa in London.  In we waltzed and the receptionist asks me very nicely ‘What package do you have Madam’ ‘Its Madamoiselle’ I hiss (only kidding :)

Anyway, I say…..

‘We shall be having the Erot….erm….ic thing- y’.

You know when something just falls out of your mouth?  You dont?  Oh.

Now, of course it was meant to be The Exotic Package NOT the bloomin’ Erotic ‘Thingy’

Well everyone just turned around and stared at me.

‘Too much, erm,  I dunno what an earth Ive been watching on TV, hahahaha’ I lamely said.

It has to stop, really.

Posted in Humour, Life, London Courtesan | 4 Comments »

All the Best Laid Plans

Arghh!

I was due to have lunch with the lovely Ayo-Sue today, somewhere very fab and a place I have had on my list for a while.  Of course I was very excited to be catching up with Ayo too.  So, I plan my day, I even had a relatively early night last night to be fresh and lively.  So I  get everything ready and  try to run a bath.  Uh oh! no water, what? this cant be right.  I used to have intermittent plumbing problems in the southwest, it cant be happening again surely.  Am I doomed to be plagued by the plumbers curse?  I know, I know that I am lucky to have water running from my taps (usually), plenty dont but I desperately didnt want to let this lady down, but now I have and I have to wait for a plumber to arrive and he wont tell me when that will be and she has to lunch alone. I’ll make it up to her though, Im so sorry darling x

Posted in Friends, Life, London Courtesan, london escort, Woes | No Comments »

Intuition and Threats

Oh and after me telling you I dont get any nonsense anymore too!  I had an email recently from a gent (and I use that term very loosely :) who said he was 38, after speaking to him on the phone, he certainly did not sound that age, he sounded very, very young.  No big deal you say but as you know I am a little particular about who I see and of what age.  Did you know that some fellas lie about their age to slip under the net?  I dont know why they bother really, just find another lady who is happy to see them surely?

All ladies in this business will be aware of our in-built antenae, our female intuition is probably honed a fair bit more than your average woman.  So, anyway, I speak to this particular fella and then get some odd emails about having booked a table for after 10pm and things like that. I checked, the restaurant does not accept bookings that late.  A few other things rang some alarm bells, things didnt ring true, he sounded at worst a timewaster and at best, well very immature;  something was definitely not right about him, so I thought  ‘Do you know what, I dont want to see this guy’  So right away, I email him and tell him that Im perhaps not the lady for him, a good few days before the meeting.  My safety and well-being has to be paramount.

I get an email this evening, days later, threatening me with a bad review on Captain69 even though he hasnt even seen me. I of course told him to do what he may, I dont respond to petty threats like that. What a silly boy. Now with that in mind, would you say that is the behaviour of a 38 year old?  Hmm, me neither.

Now, as you can imagine, I am more than relieved that I didnt see this guy and that I cancelled the appointment if indeed it was a genuine appointment; these type of people thrive on thinking you have given them a little attention by actually getting ready for them.

Anyway, I always listen to my intuition, always.  The only times I have ignored it in the past, I have regretted it.  Unfortunately there are some nasty pieces of work out there, I have had a few contact me over the years, very sick puppies; I just wish they wouldnt get in touch with me, but sometimes a lady’s website lures the deranged like a moth to the flame.  Hey ho, it cant be all roses I guess but like I say, I am indeed very happy that we never actually met; can you imagine?

High Class London Courtesan

Posted in Life, London Courtesan, london escort, The Client, Woes | 2 Comments »

Sebastian Horsley

I was due to go the theatre tonight to watch the play based on the rambunctious Sebastian Horsley’s book  ‘Dandy in the Underworld’.  But it has been cancelled because Sebastian was found dead this morning.

The book and play was about; well, if I can quote the man himself…

‘I have invested ninety percent of my money on prostitutes, the rest on Class A Drugs, the remains I squandered’.

I think something along similar lines was once said by George Best but thats unimportant now.  Sebastian was one of a kind.

The story is of one of Soho’s most colourful real-life characters, a painter and self proclaimed dandy.

I, of course was looking forward to it immensely.  I had never met Sebastian but he seemed a very colourful character, along the lines of Oscar Wilde I would think.  I am very saddened to hear this news this evening.  I am reproducing below,  an obituary from a friend of his, Toby Young;

Posted in Life, London Courtesan, London Life, men, The Client, Theatre | No Comments »

Ageist

I dislike ageism, in not quite the same way as my feelings are towards racism – which I despise, but its an unpleasant thing nevertheless.  But I am ageist arent I?  I stipulate that I dont want to see anyone under 30 (actually I prefer over 35 and may change my website to reflect that very soon :)

So am I ageist?  I dont think so….I dont have anything against younger people apart from the fact.. actually there is nothing.

Now, the reason that I dont want to see gorgeous young things in this context is that I provide a particular kind of experience – chat, sophisticated flirting, regaling with adventures that sort of thing.  ‘And you dont think that a 24 year old could do that?’ you ask.  Im not sure. I have seen younger fellas, in the past, and for me, it hasnt been the most successful of encounters.  No bad stuff, just me talking my head off to fill in the silences and the boy of the moment riveted to the sofa,  fixated like a scared rabbit – am I that scary?  Am I? – actually dont answer that. Its also important to me that I have fun too (is that allowed?)  This is my hobby now – I do have several other business interests and I am afraid I dont want to take time out from those to be placed in an uncomfortable situation with someone I have absolutely no point of reference with.

What I am trying to say is that I think they are wasting their money with me and thats why I say no.  I have had a few recently, you know, asking for a date. Bless  (and I say that not in a patronising way – but thats another reason why I dont want to see the ‘yoof’ of today, I always feel I have to watch what I say lest I am accused of being patronising :)

Anyway, here’s a gem.  I havent stopped smiling at this one…. Young fella contacts me, despite my website saying, No I dont see guys under 30. He is 24.  I didnt like his text-like email for a start;

‘you r hot, wanna see you, me 24, and I wont give you any trouble ‘

Hmm its the second part of that message that worries me :)

So I politely decline saying,  ‘Im sorry xxxx  but I only see gents over 30′.

To which he replies (wait for it…)

‘I can pretend Im over 30′

BRILLIANT!!!!! (claps hands together in glee) But I dont think he is getting the point somehow and I therefore rest my case, your honour.

Posted in Life, London Courtesan, london escort, The Client | No Comments »

Glamorous

I got called glamourous again over the weekend, a few times;  by a lady and a couple of gents.  I used to think that meant ‘Wears too much make up’   hehe.  Apparently not… ( I dont wear much anyway, make up that is ;)

So I looked it up;

having an air of allure, romance and excitement, attractive, beautiful, lovely, charming, entrancing, elegant, dazzling, enchanting, captivating, alluring, bewitching.

Oh er!  I shall have to put my rates up – only jesting :) x

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How to Look 30 Years Younger

Oh I am a naughty girl.  Do you know when people ask you (in all sorts of situations) to fill in a form?  You eventually get to the age bit -  20-30, 30-40, 40-50, 65+ that sort of thing.  It was a marketing thing to go in a draw or some such in a department store.

I ticked the 65+ box today.  The lady said.  ‘I think you made a mistake Madam’  ‘Oh did I?’  says I innocently.  I took another look and said  ‘No, everything is correct’.  ‘But your age!’  she said.  ‘Yes?’ I said  ‘Well, oh my goodness, you dont look… I mean, YOU LOOK BLOODY FANTASTIC!’   she cried.  ‘Well thank you so much’ says I, beaming.  ‘Stay out of the sun, moisturise and plenty of water, love’  was the advice I gave her, smug as you like :)   Oh I so hope this does not come back to bite me on the bum in 30 years time and I  hope I can still be saying that when I am 65+  hehe.

I am a pathelogical winder-upper (again, new word?) but funnily enough not a liar.  I am rubbish at that.  Find it too hard to do. Wish I could sometimes, it would have saved me a lot of , well…. you know.

So what’s the difference?, you ask.   I think deceit is lying and mischievousness is winding-up.

Here’s another one;  when I was a mere lass of around 15, I remember strolling through the town centre and being accosted by those Scientologists.  At the time, they used to offer insights into your psyche in surreptitious ways but now they offer ways to de-stress (or should that be distress?) you – in surreptitious ways. Same thing, different message.

So, as I say, I was strolling along, when one of them approached me beaming  and said… ‘Would you like a personality test, young lady?’   ‘I am so sorry’  I said  ‘I cant have one of those, I dont have one, a personality that is’    and blithely carried on…  I didnt dare look back. Eeek!

Is that lying?  I dont like to think so.  But oh dear; I know, I know,  its naughty; so why do I still laugh at these things? :)

Posted in Humour, Life, London Courtesan, london escort | No Comments »

Love is in the air

Oh a funny thing happened today.  My lovely cleaner was in the kitchen when my groceries arrived.  The delivery fella (aged circa 23) placed the bags in the door, did a double take at cleaner (aged circa 23) and she came rushing out to take the bags into the kitchen, whilst giving him a haughty but also a ‘come hither’ look. ( I never know that was possible, but I am practising it now :)   She’s never done it before (picked up the bags)  and I had to smile at the pair of them and I havent stopped smiling all evening.   I bet he is back next week.  Ahhhh :)

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Feminism

Feminism.  Well, I think we all know the  basics of that, dont we?  I remember as a young child reading about dear Emily Pankhurst & Co, or it may have been something on tv.  Anyway, I remember thinking, ‘When I can vote I am so not going to let those ladies down’.  ‘I will always vote’.  My big sister never voted, couldnt be bothered and I used to chastise her.  ‘Do you know what those women went through!…..‘  I used to yell, and so on and so forth. As I get older and even more sexier ;), the point is, what those beautiful and honourable ladies started in their quest for votes for women was the thought process of women being equal to men and they did all that so that we could have a choice really. So if my big sis chooses not to vote, then thats her choice isnt it?

Likewise if I choose to wear green, red or black, paint my face, wear killer heels, dress down or up or even, God forbid, become a floozy ;) – thats my choice.  Isnt it?  Yes. What’s brought all this on? I hear you say.  Well, I went to The Criterion Restaurant the other day, its on Picadilly and guess what? That is where the suffragettes used to meet.  What a stylish place to meet, very impressive.

Now then, having said all of the above, and having had 92 years of voting rights and 50 years of sexual revolution (not me personally of course), we still have a dilemma.  I like men (gentlemen) to treat me like a lady.  I like being feminine.  I like to call men ‘gentlemen’ because I can and I want to and there aren’t too many people out there who can stop me doing what I choose to do.

So, what exactly is a ‘lady’?  Well, in my humble opinion, it is someone who has impeccable manners, goes out of her way to make someone feel comfortable, is gracious, charming and kind.  She in addition may be sophisticated, elegant, educated, cultured and well connected, but not necessarily so.  The key, I think ( and please do tell me if you disagree), the key is in these words; respectful, gracious, charming and kind.

If someone thinks that I am worth treating like a lady, it does not mean that I am weak, it does not mean that I need looking after.  It means that they like me enough to look out for me, make my life a little bit more comfortable. Likewise, I like to look after my fellas, in any way that I can.  I like to behave like a lady.

Years of the vile  lad and ladette culture, it seems to me has bred a mindset of total disrespect for themselves and others. and I am not talking soley about teenagers here. I dont tend to go out to bars or clubs – actually never.  Alright,  maybe the odd exquisite champagne bar.  But I had a little experience lately and I also see these things on forums – escort related forums.  Some of these men are so utterly disrespectful of women, no actually, of other human beings and therefore themselves that I do wonder if the age of chivalry is lost forever.  Im not talking about knights and shining armour here, (or should that be amour? ;) Im talking about basic human decency like getting up out of a seat because someone else  either needs it more than you or because you want to brighten someone’s day or even holding a door open for someone (male or female) or even, yes even being kind for the sake of it.

Of course we also have the other side of the coin.  The feminazi who if truth be told are a little bonkers really.  The militant feminists, I think, have never done us any favours.  Its all gone a little bit wrong. Seeing good manners as offensive behaviour is never going to be good or progressive.

Here’s the thing.  If you dont respect yourself, you surely cant expect someone else to respect you.  Likewise, why oh why would you want to spend your life disrespecting other people?  Is that a reflection on your inner self? So maybe this ardent feminism has garnered the totally opposite effect to what was wanted.  Instead of having men respect women as valuable members of society we have a selection of folks who hate each other.

I was on the tube the other day (yes, now I live here in London, I travel on the tube, just until I get my car and driver, of course hehe :)  and an elderly lady and gent got on.  I was sat down and immediately got up to give the lady my seat. Its what you do isnt it?  I never dreamt that she may be offended at that and she wasnt but I have heard tales of you fellas doing that for a lady, any lady and you get told off.  You wont from me, thats for sure.  Now, I am not saying I am Mother Theresa for getting up or anything like that, not better than anyone else and I dont want a medal.  But no-one else was going to do that and when I did it, the guy next to me then stood up to let the man sit down too.  Everyone else looked as though something weird had happened.   There was a very uncomfortable vibe.

What is all this about? and what on earth has that got to do with feminism?  Its more to do with the respect thing really, somewhere along the line, its all got a little bit muddled up.  All of the ladies I know would love guys to be gentlemen again.  Lets bring back Emily and get a movement going – ‘Seats for Women!’ and not just in parliament, or maybe we could sit on your knee? ;)

Posted in Etiquette, Life, london, London Courtesan, london escort, London Life, men | 1 Comment »

Sex for Fun

I was chatting to Mr J the other day and I said (as you do :)  Dolphins are the only species (apart from us) to have sex just for the sake of it, not just for procreation.  I bet you think I am a real bundle of laughs now dont you?

Anyway, I was wrong. Bonobos do too. They are a species of chimpanzee who also like to get it on, you know, just for fun.  Funnily enough common chimps dont do it. Curiouser and curiouser.

Sex plays a very important role in bonobo society. It is used as a greeting, as a means of conflict resolution, and a host of other important social gestures. They are relatively indiscriminate about their pairings – they do not form permanent relationships with individual partners. Other than humans, they are the only animals known to engage in face-to-face sex, tongue kissing, and oral sex. Same sex interactions between males and females are common. They have a matriarchal, peaceful society.

I did read once that Groups of young male dolphins have been recorded corralling a young female away from a group and raping her. Of course, not all of their interactions are malicious – they have sex for pleasure as well. Just like in human society there are always a few “bad ones” in the lot. I swam with wild dolphins once, in New Zealand; Dusky dolphins like the ones in the picture, they are the most acrobatic of the species.  The best thing I have ever done, really.  It was incredible.  I wouldnt ever swim with them or even go to see them in captivity, too cruel.  So dolphins raping?  Oh I cant bear it, they are so gentle, intelligent and playful.  It cannot be so!

Posted in Life, London Courtesan, london escort, Nature | No Comments »