Archive for the ‘Golf’ Category
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
The very wonderful Mr I reminded me the other day of a blog post I said I was going to write ages ago. We were talking about Tom Watson and golf. I was saying that the commentators at Turnbury seemed to be incredulous that a ‘man of that age’ was doing so well and kept using that phrase. What?
This perplexed me somewhat. Call me naive but dont you get better with practice?, at golf as with many other things, I mean ;) So I would have thought that Mr Watson (at a mere and spritely 59) would be way ahead of those young whipper snappers. He looks fit, he is fit and he obviously plays a mean round of golf. I take it he has been playing for longer than a lot of the other guys have been alive and besides all that, he looks all smiley which is always a bonus whatever the age. :)
I wish he had won. I do. And I am very glad to hear that he has set his sights on the St Andrews Open in 2010 with a view to winning. (May have to put that on as a tour ;) Go Tom! (gets rah rah skirt and pom poms out)
On a sadder note… (no not that sad) Long standing readers may be wondering how my golfing techniques have developed. Well, I had a few lessons this year but on the whole, I am ashamed to say, I have not done as much as I should have. Pathetic really. I will though. I am planning a golfing day in Dubai and some more lessons locally, definitely.
But on a sexier note… Back to the fantastic fifties. Men are fab at 50 plus. Oh yes. Mature (sexy), wise (sexy), sophisticated (v sexy), successful (super sexy) well you know don’t you? You’ve lived a little, lived to tell the tale and are all the better for it. They say that 40′s are the new 30′s. That makes 50′s the new 40′s and you know what begins at 40 don’t you? :)
Dubai Escort
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Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
That’s always an exciting email to get – and I got one today! It means a lot to me for you to take the time to post a review – I know you are very busy guys – so today a big thanks to Mr T – the very lovely Mr T, we had so much fun – definitely a Mr Perfect xxx.
I tried to post another naughty nature piccy today but for some reason this blog programme sometimes doesn’t like to embrace photos, So will try later. (done! – I love the little house just tucked behind to the left – I want to live there :) I think I spoke too soon about the glorious sunshine – where, oh where has it gone? Is that it then? Just like last year – a few days of bliss and then overcast vileness? I am seriously thinking of spending 6 months abroad – for sunshine and tax purposes – listen to me sounding like Rod Stewart! Makes sense though – somewhere like Marbella – you could visit me, play golf etc etc – still a dream at the moment but you never, ever know and once I get an idea in my bonnet….
Ohh I haven’t put a joke on here for ages…
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family – but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?” The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”
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Thursday, July 24th, 2008
Yes I had my first lessons! I liked it! Glorious weather too – I can only see myself as a fair weather golfer for sure. I got to fondle a putter, a wood (ohhh matron) and a 7 iron ( I so hope I got those right :). Ok, I was only on the driving range (they wouldn’t let me loose on the course hehehe) but do you know what?, I think I may be a fan. The top of my right arm hurts on one muscle and my left side aches but I was told that’s GOOD! – it means I was doing all the right things and that swing-through malarky is sooo very sexy isn’t it? Well, it got me going when I saw the chaps doing it. Now, my only dilemma is how I am going to get those hunking great golf bags into my teeny car.
Question: What handicap do I have to be so you will want to play with me??
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Saturday, June 7th, 2008
I bet you didn’t know what/where this was/is either! Stats are great. Website stats are the greatest. Mine tells me where my visitors come from, even down to the city. So, whilst looking at all the different places my humble site gets visited from, using a world map. I spy a solitary dot in the middle of the South Pacific. What’s this I ask myself? On further investigation, I see it’s a visitor from Papeete in Tahiti. Ahh Papeete, I wish I knew it well. It looks lovely – perhaps one for the tour list? I wonder if my accountant will allow that business expense. hehehe.
Interesting things (I love this stuff!)…
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled ‘Gentlemen only…Ladies Forbidden’… and thus the word GOLF enterted into the English language.
In the 1400′s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ‘the rule of thumb’.
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, then person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase… ‘goodnight, sleep tight’.
It was accepted practice in Babylon 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale was ordered by pints and quarts… So in olde England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind your pints and quarts and settle down!’. It’s where we get the phrase ‘Mind your P’s and Q’s.
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this practice.
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Saturday, May 10th, 2008
Yes, I mean golf! I am taking it up this summer ~ I am going to have a few private lessons and see if I like. I have of late, seen the light and can appreciate all the merits of golf. Of course I will onlly be a fair weather golfer but I can see how a day in the sunshine and fresh air strolling around scenic grounds would be enjoyable (or am I confusing this with joining the National Trust?) Yes, I will try it and if I like it I will do it again! I also get to look smug when I know all the terminology such as ‘birdie’, ‘hole in one’ and the ’19th hole’ – is that correct or do they all mean the same thing? Oh yes, I think I will enjoy it. Years ago, I was staying in a very luxurious resort in Zimbabwe which also had a huge golf course. Lots of people from all over the world came just to play golf. So, I liked this little joke here as people would come up to the bar after a day on the course and regale us with tales of crocs parading over the lawns, stopping the game for a while. I of course was not interested at all, preferring to go on safari or sunbathe on the terrace. So, do you think it’s an age thing? (trying desperately to not offend any of my golfing readers!) and am I (at last) growing up? Golfing jokes please…
Oh, and what on earth do I wear??
PS A speedy recovery Mr A!!Oh look, some golfing stuff sent to me – thanks guys! xx
BEDROOM GOLF!THE RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on the course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners have the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as are necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the hole again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course currently being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring appropriate rain gear.
10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate to discover that someone else is playing what they consider to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the hole temporarily under repair. Players are cautioned to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.
13. Slow play is encouraged, however players should be prepared to play at a faster pace at the request of the course owner.
14. It is considered outstanding performance to play the same hole several times in one match, time permitting.
15. The course owner shall be the sole judge of who is the best player.
And this Robin Williams sketch on Golf…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jThf7W9WONE
No sooner had I mentioned that I will be trying my hand at golf than a very kind gent presented me with a golfing set today – it’s very posh and I am very lucky, so thank you very much Mr Kind Gent! I think I will be a seasoned golfer in no time at all with all this smashing stuff!
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