Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
I am constantly looking for ways to not disappoint you. I am talking in terms of not having to turn you away dear one :) As you have read (many) times on my blog, the bane of an Escort’s life is the dreaded timewaster, they come in many categories but for now, I want to talk about the guy who makes a booking and then when the time comes for the Escort to call him to give directions etc, he either doesn’t answer or switches his phone off. Very annoying and very rude and totally frustrating when I may have turned away some lovely chaps saying I was fully booked. Soooo, I now require a quick text before 9am on the big day to let me know everything is ok for the date. If I don’t get that text, I assume this date was a timewaster and will re-book it. So, please guys, make sure you text me before 9am!
The upside to this is although I am usually pretty booked up in advance, I just may be available on the day you prefer. Perhaps a little call before 10am may well find us enjoying that tryst after all?
Posted in Etiquette, London Courtesan, The Client, The Courtesan/Escort | No Comments »
Monday, July 7th, 2008
It doesn’t happen often (well not to me anyway) but occasionally you get someone who calls you and tries to offer you a cheap rate. Hmmmm. I often ask myself, would this person gladly take a pay cut? Would this person do this to a solicitor or accountant ? (I can’t see the difference – we all offer a service). No I don’t think he would. So here is how it went today. Awright, where you? (Plymouth) yeah, wherbouts? (Not telling you :) Ok, I have 80 quid cash here in me hand and I’m not far from you, it won’t take long….. (durrrrr I hung up by then :) - Oh and the spelling mistakes are intentional – he spoke like that. Now, maybe he had just returned from a bargain basement jaunt to Egypt where haggling is indeed acceptable (possibly not with solicitors or accountants though), perhaps he was taking a stiff toke from a hubbly bubbly pipe while he called and wanted to re-live his exotic experience? Or maybe he’s been watching too many cockney geezer shows along the ilk of ‘Only Fools and Horses’ or he fancies himself as Arfur Daly. Who knows? Who cares? I just hope he doesn’t call me again :)
Posted in Etiquette, London Courtesan, The Client, Woes | No Comments »
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
Ohh dear, I don’t seem to be able to upload this week’s nature pic on this temperamental blog. Ok, I will try tomorrow. In the meantime, please check out my new review (thank you kind Mister!)
I have also become a little more exclusive in that I require an email from new clients first. This is to make sure I am the girl for you and you are the boy for me ;) (I am sure you would expect nothing less from a Courtesan?) So, if you are thinking of contacting me, please send a teeny email telling me a little about you and what you are looking for and I promise I will reply soonest. xx
PS Don’t forget to pop back tomorrow for filthy beautiful nature pic. – As you can see, it’s on now! - one of my favourites :)
Posted in Etiquette, London Courtesan, Nature, Reviews, The Client | No Comments »
Monday, June 9th, 2008
Not to be confused with the off-side rule (or maybe it should?) Listen to me sounding (trying to) all knowledgable about football when if truth be told I know nothing, zilch, zero about the game. So, my over 30 rule applies to gents under the age of 30. I usually won’t see fellas below that age. Why? well, in my experience (and this is only my experience – I know some ladies who do indeed see fellas under 30) the guys under 30 who contact me are invariably timewasters. Yes, I know that’s a generalisation but every single time I decide to relax my rule a little, the under 30′s guy who has booked will turn off his phone when I call him at the arranged time. Really, EVERY SINGLE TIME! Happened today again so that really is it – definitely no more chances. Perhaps someone can tell me what happens when a fella hits the big 3-0? Does maturity kick in at that magic age?
Posted in Etiquette, London Courtesan, The Client, Woes | 1 Comment »
Thursday, May 8th, 2008
Time is precious, my time, your time, we only have a finite amount. Now I don’t know about you but I made a conscious decision some time back to absolutely make the most of the precious time I have here ~ and, hopefully fit in as much good stuff as possible. Brill. Now, every so often, not sure if you get it in your line of work, but one of the hazards of mine is that there are these silly boys who decide that the precious time they are given on this earth should be spent (wasted) on trying to mess people around and waste other people’s precious time. Very sick puppies they are and I can usually spot them at 500 miles. Now this particular fool went through all the rigmorale of trying to book a date ~ I actually asked him if he was a timewaster (because my Escort antennae twitched) – now why on earth would I think he would admit to it?? – I’ve been told off before for assuming that everyone is as straight and honest as I am.
But I gave him the benefit as I didn’t have anything else on ~ my instincts (as usual) were right and the fool did not call me when he reached the place he should call me from. The clues were there. He said he was outside a jewellery shop in town but no outdoor noises. I asked him, he said he was in the shop. I could go on. The point is that fools like this (and this was not a young man, he will not be seeing 40 again) spoil it for all the lovely guys out there (like you). So if I get a little bit paranoid and ask you to verify all sorts of things, it’s because of idiots like ‘james’. Now my question is, should I name and shame the little buggars on here with phone numbers??
Answers please…
After I wrote this, I realised that the swine was into humiliation, so maybe this was his goal? Hmm, methinks I am spending too much time on this nonentity – time to move on to something far more important (Ohh, that sentence would probably turn him on too – doomed if I do, doomed if I don’t (shakes head)
Posted in Etiquette, London Courtesan, Woes | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
is a joy. We (us Escorts) love to hear from him and really look forward to seeing him. I have a few perfect clients. Mr Q is one. I saw him recently and always enjoy my time with him. He is a very genuine and kind man (he will probably hate all this attention, but he is an excellent example). So here’s a few pointers on how to be Mr Perfect too…
Mr Perfect never overstays his welcome, unless invited.
Mr Perfect is the ‘perfect’ gent at all times and is so considerate it makes you feel all gooey inside.
Mr Perfect would not dream of compromising an Escort’s privacy by asking untoward questions.
Mr Perfect is punctual and always honours his appointments.
Mr Perfect makes the Escort feel special, appreciated and encourages the Escort.
Mr Perfect has read Ms Escort’s website and understands the boundries she has laid down – and honours them.
Mr Perfect is a free-thinker and is happy engaging with Escorts. He feels no need to feel ashamed, embarassed or awkward.
Thank you to all my Mr Perfects!!
Posted in Etiquette, London Courtesan, The Client | No Comments »
Saturday, April 26th, 2008
Now, I know I am a very friendly girl and it is sometimes tempting to overstep certain boundries in the cause of friendship but there are some questions that should definitely NOT be on the agenda with your first meeting with an Escort. In fact they should never be on the agenda unless the lady freely submits the information first. Now, I personally won’t ask you anything apart from ‘Where have you come from today?, did you have a good trip down’ etc or ‘What line of work are you in?’ Answer if you like, say if you don’t want to, that’s fine – it’s just small talk. I, and most ladies will never ask you personal questions. You are of course free to dilvulge if you wish, and whatever you say stays with us. Here are some of the questions I have been asked and am not keen on answering until I get to know you fairly well. These have sometimes come from the same person within 30 minutes of meeting!
What’s your real name? – we may (or may not) have a pseudonym for a reason guys!!
Do your parents/friends know what you do?
How may people do you see in a week?
How much do you earn?
Have you seen anyone famous, who was it?, you can tell me.
Are you married/have you got a boyfriend?
Have you got kids? If so, do they know what you do?
What company did you work for before you did this?
Do you have another job?
Can I take you out?, by the way I don’t want to pay though because I am a hot and spunky, good lookin’ lad.
….I could go on but I think you get the general gist….
Posted in Etiquette, London Courtesan, The Client, The Courtesan/Escort, Woes | No Comments »
Saturday, April 26th, 2008
Mr A told me that he was reading a book called ‘Talk to the Hand – The utter bloody rudeness of everyday life’ He also said that the author was very funny in a sarcastic kind of way and that she reminded him of me. He went on to say that as I am a bit of a stickler for good manners, and as this book was a funny take on the lack of manners today, he thought it would be just up my street. So of course I dutifully went out and got it. It is funny and I do recognise myself. At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old cow, don’t you find that having good manners makes the world a much nicer place? Yes, of course it does, so why doesn’t everyone participate?? I like this excerpt from the book. Talking about the word ‘sorry’, The Independent’s Janet Street-Porter, who, while filming a documentary about modern education last year, tried to prompt the children at a school assembly to grasp the importance of apology. “Children,” she said, “in every family home, there’s a word which people find really hard to say to each other. It ends in ‘y’. Can anyone tell me what it is?” There was a pause while everyone racked their brains, and then someone called out, “Buggery?”.
Every time I read this I laugh – it is hilarious! But back to my point…
Now, I won’t ever see someone who has bad manners, (an example being someone who calls and shouts ‘massage?’ down the phone – if someone is ignorant on the phone how much more vile will they be if we meet?, is my reasoning). Having good manners is really about respect and empathy with another human being. What worries me most is that some people really don’t seem to realise they have an appalling lack of good manners. Oh gawd, I am turning into my mother!
(to be continued, I’m sure)
Posted in Etiquette, Humour, Life, London Courtesan, The Client | No Comments »
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
Grrr, more annoyances on the texting front. I know, I know, I shouldn’t let it bother me but they drive me up the wall. There is a particular young boy who resides in the Plymouth area goes by the name of D*****. Now this young fella obviously has way, way too much time on his grubby mitts. He will text and text and text… and then text again. (Has probably worn away his thumbs by now) You block him after the first one or two and then he gets a new number and starts all over again – he is on his third number now – always uses the same name though – duh!! Most of the numbers in my block list are for him. He is obviously completely mad and spends all his dole money on top up cards. Also got a crazy text the other day from what appeared to be a girlie.
Here is how it went…
From Ms Charming – ‘Jus but out my life ya fat belfast bitch am not goin wit u bro anymor so ill drop me nickers an spread me legs anytime i lik got nothin 2do wit u so bye bye.
Hmm , methinks now that cant possibly be for me (I dont come from Belfast for a start!) So I ignore. I then get another text the next day…
Hi i sent i txt las nite really sorry bout that was a bit drunk typed number in wrong txt was ment 4 me x fella’s fat bitch sister sorry bout that oxoxo
Ahh, just as I thought, so I send a text back. No worries.
Another text…
Hi its xxxxx again hangover fro hell mind me askin who i txt an wat part N.ireland u from x
So I politely reply, I am in England, not sure how you got my number?
And then they start getting weirder!
Hardly landed on me feet an your brad pitt’s long lost twin bro coz prob should tel ya its v easy 2 get me in2 bed haha x
(I think at this point, the lady thinks I am a guy obviously and so dont respond, then comes this one…
If ya married it ok dont mind married men use can keep u mouths shut, not lik single fellas do ya ever b over in ireland x
Having spoken to a few other ladies, it transpires that they too received the same texts and that it could possibly be a scam to respond and get charged premium rates for the texts ( fell for that one with my politeness!)
And there’s more – what could a guy possibly think I would want with a picture of a willy sent via text? Yes, another willy pic last week. Yes, I do know what they look like honey!!
Is it just me attracting these lunatics?, is it??
PS My next phone will be text free.
Posted in Etiquette, London Courtesan, The Client, Woes | No Comments »
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
What does this mean?? Well, in the context of me, it means that I get to choose who has the pleasure of my company. Now that may go against many misconceptions of ‘working girls’ – and boy are there millions out there! (and whatever other name you may have come across ) I am not repeating them here to spare your blushes. As you know I prefer ‘Courtesan’. Precisely because of its postive connotations. So, myself (and actually all the other girls I am familiar with) ALWAYS get to choose our amour for the day/evening. Now, if you are a gent who has had a little experience of other ways of seeing working girls, now this may be a little alien to you, but that is the way it is for me and others like me. A client of mine once said that it always comes across as though I am having a whale of a time and I think the primary reason for this is the fact that I choose whom I spend time with and my gents are invariably very, very lovely and that makes me happy. Now, when a lady of the night decides not to see someone, it could be for all manner of reasons. My main one (and I am probably more selective than most) is that I probably don’t think we will be comfortable with each other. That would be a total waste of the kindly gent’s hard earned cash and wouldn’t make me happy either, that’s why I make that decision. My instincts are never, ever wrong. There is always a (working) lady for every guy – sometimes it needs a bit of searching and it’s not always about how much cash you have.
Posted in Etiquette, The Courtesan/Escort | 1 Comment »
I am constantly looking for ways to not disappoint you. I am talking in terms of not having to turn you away dear one :) As you have read (many) times on my blog, the bane of an Escort’s life is the dreaded timewaster, they come in many categories but for now, I want to talk about the guy who makes a booking and then when the time comes for the Escort to call him to give directions etc, he either doesn’t answer or switches his phone off. Very annoying and very rude and totally frustrating when I may have turned away some lovely chaps saying I was fully booked. Soooo, I now require a quick text before 9am on the big day to let me know everything is ok for the date. If I don’t get that text, I assume this date was a timewaster and will re-book it. So, please guys, make sure you text me before 9am!
This here blog thing started as a way to express my saucy self. But do you know what? There's more to me than the saucy bits! So herewith you will find all sorts of thoughts, anecdotes, ideas, funny things (lots of them), deep and meaningfuls - a mixture of everything really, just like life. I hope you like it here. I like it here. It's cosier if you are here too so stay a while.