It was meant to be his birthday but he spoilt me instead – thank you darling xxx

As a little treat for one and all, here’s the new Agent Provocateur video.  Phew.

CLICK HERE to view it

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‘Have you Googled me?’ he said.  It’s amazing how a brand name becomes a verb isn’t it?  Brilliant really.

‘No’ I said, ‘but I will now‘ I added.

The problem with Google; actually there are many problems with Google but we won’t get into all that here.  Well, the problem with Googling someone is you may not get accurate information to start with.

For instance type  ‘Dave Brown’ in Google and what do you see?  (And no he is not a client, I just used that name as an example).

So our Dave, well he’s a comedian isnt he?, he is also a surfer, oh and Dave is also a photographer, he’s a DJ in his spare time and also an astronaut – and that’s just on the first page.  Jeez!  How can Dave find the time to come and see lil’ ole me?

Obviously there are many Dave Brown’s :) and I have no idea which one will be coming to see me.  So I never Google anyone.  Actually, I’m not that nosey either.  Honestly, I’m not. I never even look at other ladies’ reviews – I feel like a Peeping Tom (no pun intended but I will accept it if it makes you laugh – I love to make you laugh :)

I am of course more than a little obsessive about my safety but once I am happy about all that, no I dont go prying.  It’s like peeking into someone’s bedside drawer  isnt it?

Oh you do that, do you?  hahaha. Well, if you looked in mine you would find 3 types of condoms, lub, massage oil (from Fortnums, dont you know), a tiny vibrator and gym socks, oh and a lovely solid silver clock that has been broken and I dont know how to fix it – so if you do go poking around in there, I will expect you to fix it, hmm :)

Actually, you can rummage around in my drawers anytime you like ;) x

High Class Escort

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Anyway, I have been into a few of these clubs now.  Lovely places, full of history, legends and stories to tell.  I can tell you one.  One of my ancestors gambled and drank the whole family estate away in such a club.   Its too far back to get too annoyed now but I used to look at the family pile (I never lived there, by the way) – its a hotel now, and think, yes that could possibly have been mine, if I was born a male and threw on this mortal coil  around 100 years ago. Totally true and apparently that  kind of thing was not uncommon in those days. Hey hum.  The sandwich was conceived in such a place too.

Now these clubs; well you have to be with a member (no jokes at the back) and some of them let ladies in.  Yes indeed.  But some still do not.  Is that legal?  Anyway, I dont care, who wants to go where they are not wanted anyway?  I desperately feel the need to quote the fabulous Groucho Marx’s missive to a private club right now;

“PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER”.

Hahaha, superb.

So back to these clubs that I am not a member of…  they are rather wonderful you know, well you will know if you have been before too, perhaps you are a member?  No wonder the fellas tried to keep them all to themselves :)  I have been rather lucky in that a couple of my gents have taken me for lunch at these fine establishments and I must say the food has been marvelous, likewise the company and the ambience.  Oh I know some femi-nazi’s will be outraged but I like them, the clubs and the gentlemen,  not the femi-nazi’s.  Now then, I am moving onto nightspots now and  I just need to find a way to get myself into Annabel’s and the Groucho Club now, any tips? :)

Courtesan

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Anyway, you know that I like champagne, just a teeny, tiny bit, right?

Well Mr x is a bit of an authority on champagne (how goddamn sexy is that??) and brought the most delicious champagne to join the one I had got for our dinner.  You see, Mr x is of the opinion that the smaller champagne houses are usually far superior than the larger ones with big marketing budgets,  and do you know? I cant argue with him right now because, as I said, the one he produced was splendid, fabulous.  I had one too, a rose from a smaller house that was recommended to me and I could only get it at Fortnums.  Stunning it was too.

So you also know about my little collection?  The metal tops of champagnes that I have sipped?  Here’s the post. Well, Ive got two new tops for my collection tonight,  hence  the ‘fill my box’ quip.  Oh you had to be there.

Do you want to though?  Fill my box? ;)

English Courtesan

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Over the last few weeks I have been confronted with constant incompetence.  Grrrr. I speak now of businesses and government agencies.  From making an enquiry to say I want to buy a product and never getting a call back to trying to book a very expensive hotel for a party – and never getting a call back,  to the NHS.  Yes the NHS.   I have had to chase people constantly for routine things.  Everyone saying ‘That shouldnt have happened’ – remember that post?  I have always in the past given these guys a lot of leeway, its an institution after all and we are lucky to have it, right?  Well, actually we do pay for it, and a fair amount too.  I would go private if I thought they would refund my contributions.

You know I love my lists and as a rule I am a very efficient and organised lady – maybe thats why these incompetents irritate me so. The list of people I am waiting  to get back to me grows by the hour.

So, this austerity package – does that mean government agencies and the NHS management are  going to get worse?? or is some fab chick in thigh high leather boots going to stride in and make the lot of them more efficient?   Oh I so hope its the latter.  Maybe that lady who sorts the shops out, she might be free for the next 10 years.

Yes private businesses are just as bad and for some reason it feels worse, they should actually care about getting business.  Without exception every single one I have contacted recently has been diabolical.  Apart from my facialist, yes you read it correctly, not fatalist but you may be forgiven for thinking that with the  general thrust of this post :) (its the new buzz word for someone who does facials) anyway, she’s exceptionally good at business as well as facials, she does Angelina’s when she is in London, dont you know!  I like her.  But the rest of them? Actually I feel sorry for them.  They are in no way going to survive in the coming months/years.  Some provider of excellence will step in and sweep up all their custom.  I hope they call me first, these ship-shape businesses, I would love to give an excellent business some cash.

Rant over.

Thank God for my fellas, honestly. Paris was of course exceptional, when is it never?   I brought you back a postcard ;)  Thanks Mister C, I will never look at croissants in quite the same way ever again hehehe :)  xxx

High End London Escort

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Talking of chateaux, I am being whisked off again this weekend, to gay Paris this time, to celebrate Bastille Day,(and no I am not a socialist, in fact not a political animal – I just like French food and wine :)  just for the day though – ahh Paris, we have not embraced each other for a while, I am looking forward to it.  Mister knows his way around Paris and so it will be a fabulous time.  Lucky Chick.   Back on Monday.  Keep cool, see you soon x

London Companion

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♥You are delightful! Thank you for a wonderful time.

♥Hello Rhia, Welcome to London. I hope it’s treating you well. I imagine you’ll have seen the latest Field Report you’ve inspired: what a beautifully written tribute. At the risk of sounding patronising – and please accept it’s not the intention – I hope you realise that its a very treasurable nourishment you provide that enables someone to reflect on an encounter so glowingly. What a lovely gift it is, that you possess.

♥Thank you so much for a really great afternoon last Thursday. I loved the lunch, fairly obvious really when it stretched to something close to three hours!. It was really nice to  have enough time to establish a connection, and get a feel for Rhia-the-person. As for the rest, I absolutely loved that time with you, as you probably realised!……you have the most lovely smooth skin and gorgeous bum. However for me it has to come with the package of intelligence,a great outlook and view of the world. Well done sweetie, you are right up there!!. I know how you hit the spot, because when I’m delayed or having to wait, my thoughts sneak back to you……….and thats a mental picture to hold onto!!.

♥I very much enjoyed the couple of hours we spent together.  I think you are one of the nicest women I have met in a long time, and I just wanted to tell you that.

♥A perfect time I thought, to send you a message to say thank you thank you, thank you for last Friday.  I really had such a lovely time with you.  It was everything that I had thought about and more and a true reflection of the delights promised from your website.  I was left revived, relaxed, regenerated (and drained) and fulfilled in many many ways.  This is all down to you :)

London Companion

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All ladies in this business will be aware of our in-built antenae, our female intuition is probably honed a fair bit more than your average woman.  So, anyway, I speak to this particular fella and then get some odd emails about having booked a table for after 10pm and things like that. I checked, the restaurant does not accept bookings that late.  A few other things rang some alarm bells, things didnt ring true, he sounded at worst a timewaster and at best, well very immature;  something was definitely not right about him, so I thought  ‘Do you know what, I dont want to see this guy’  So right away, I email him and tell him that Im perhaps not the lady for him, a good few days before the meeting.  My safety and well-being has to be paramount.

I get an email this evening, days later, threatening me with a bad review on Captain69 even though he hasnt even seen me. I of course told him to do what he may, I dont respond to petty threats like that. What a silly boy. Now with that in mind, would you say that is the behaviour of a 38 year old?  Hmm, me neither.

Now, as you can imagine, I am more than relieved that I didnt see this guy and that I cancelled the appointment if indeed it was a genuine appointment; these type of people thrive on thinking you have given them a little attention by actually getting ready for them.

Anyway, I always listen to my intuition, always.  The only times I have ignored it in the past, I have regretted it.  Unfortunately there are some nasty pieces of work out there, I have had a few contact me over the years, very sick puppies; I just wish they wouldnt get in touch with me, but sometimes a lady’s website lures the deranged like a moth to the flame.  Hey ho, it cant be all roses I guess but like I say, I am indeed very happy that we never actually met; can you imagine?

High Class London Courtesan

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Whilst enjoying his Earl Grey, we got to talking about afternoon teas.  ‘Oh do you think I should put that as a option on my website Mr x?’ says I  ‘Do you know, you may have something there’ says he  ‘You can offer tea and you are definitely the crumpet’ Hehehe, Well done Mr x!, I shall put it on :)

‘I am very proud of you darling‘ said Mr x, ‘‘Taking the leap, moving  up here and taking London on’ Maybe thats my audacious side coming to the fore though ;) – thats an in-joke by the way hahaha. London seems to like me well enough and he is a gem Mr x, a total gem.

So tea and crumpet anyone?…

I can offer an afternoon tea as good as the Ritz;  delicate sandwiches, cakes, scones and crumpet afterwards, that will be me :)  A selection of teas; Earl Grey, Traditonal English tea, Darjeeling, even some fruit teas if that is your thing?. Just tell me what you like and I will get it. If tea is not your thing (I personally dont drink tea or coffee), well we can always fall back on the old favourite, champagne! I need a week’s notice and a deposit for this chaps;

More details here. Traditional English Afternoon Tea.

See you very soon!

High Class London Escort

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Mostly antiques, some antiquities,  jewels,  handbags and vintage cars, Ferrari’s, Lamborghini’s, that kind of thing.  Very, very nice, oh and champagne too.  Not that I care a jot about that of course, as one of my gents said recently  ‘Would you care for a glass of champagne, Rhia?  I know you dont touch the stuff normally darling’ Well, I dont mind if I do, I would hate to be labelled a party pooper hehe :)

Yes it was very nice, the champers and the exhibition, and if I was in the market for some fresh furnishings and had a squillion pounds hanging around, I would have thought about spending, or maybe not… The security (as you can imagine) was fierce.  X- raying handbags and all sorts of things. I wore one of my silk Janet Reger sets  just in case they decided to go further.  They didnt.  But the nice boy on the security desk did say to his colleague, ‘Oh yes, this lady is definitely ok’ with a slight smile and a nod – wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more squire, that kind of thing  – do you think that was a chat up line, or code? or was I imagining it? :)

I like these invitations though, they give you a chance to peruse all manner of things.  My favourite was a solid silver carriage, it was truly, truly stunning.  Dont let anyone tell you there is no money around, the place was full of big spenders (I feel a song coming on).

What else have I got to tell you?  Well, my Michelin Star project is coming along nicely, ticked another few off recently and will do for a few more over the next few weeks.  Thank you kind Sirs, your participation is greatly appreciated x  My favourite is still Le Gavroche and of course Gidleigh Park.  Let’s see what happens when I get to Mr Ramsay’s place on Hospital Road though.  Oh and I have the Fat Duck coming up too, with that mad boy-come chef-come scientist, Heston.  Bless his heart.

On a totally different subject; the beauty of not seeing many beaux is that you really look forward to the date.  I really mean that.  I look in my diary, read through the emails I have had from Mister and look at where we are going or what I am going to prepare for him here, what he might like me to wear, what music I should put on for him, what he may like when we …. well, you know.  I have already got a pretty good idea of the person behind the email and the voice on the phone and I try to envisage the meeting. I get everything perfect here at Chateaux Rhia for him.  I get excited. I dont have boyfriends so this is my only sex life too, we have a truly lovely time, as you can imagine, and yes I do get excited  ;)

I dont see everyone who contacts me though because, well, I dont want to and I dont have to.  The fellas that I do see are always lovely and fun and we get on enormously.  Thats because you get a feel for who you are going to get on with, when you partake in this wonderful life for a little while.  Dont get me wrong, when I first started with this hobby (and it is my hobby), I made a couple of mistakes, some people slipped through the net as it were.  No lunatics, and certainly not some of the nonsense that some of these poor girls have to put up with; just guys who, well, should have seen someone else.   Not now though, the net is as taut as a drum.  I only see people I really want to see, gents I will look forward to seeing.  Sorry if I didnt get to see you because I thought that we may not gel, its not personal, honestly.

Anyway, thats enough of my ramblings, its a busy week ahead.  Cant wait to see you if you are cosily tucked into my diary, if not, sorry I missed you, maybe next week?  xxx

London Blonde

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