Archive for the ‘England’ Category
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
No, not that kind of gentlemen’s club!! Stroll around St James’s, Pall Mall, Mayfair et al and you may (or may not spot them) some have signs, most do not – Gentlemen’s Clubs. They used to be strictly closed to ladies – I do remember, I think, seeing a film – The Honest Courtesan where courtesans were allowed into gentlemen’s clubs in Venice, way back when; to use the libraries of course. What fun!
Anyway, I have been into a few of these clubs now. Lovely places, full of history, legends and stories to tell. I can tell you one. One of my ancestors gambled and drank the whole family estate away in such a club. Its too far back to get too annoyed now but I used to look at the family pile (I never lived there, by the way) – its a hotel now, and think, yes that could possibly have been mine, if I was born a male and threw on this mortal coil around 100 years ago. Totally true and apparently that kind of thing was not uncommon in those days. Hey hum. The sandwich was conceived in such a place too.
Now these clubs; well you have to be with a member (no jokes at the back) and some of them let ladies in. Yes indeed. But some still do not. Is that legal? Anyway, I dont care, who wants to go where they are not wanted anyway? I desperately feel the need to quote the fabulous Groucho Marx’s missive to a private club right now;
“PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER”.
Hahaha, superb.
So back to these clubs that I am not a member of… they are rather wonderful you know, well you will know if you have been before too, perhaps you are a member? No wonder the fellas tried to keep them all to themselves :) I have been rather lucky in that a couple of my gents have taken me for lunch at these fine establishments and I must say the food has been marvelous, likewise the company and the ambience. Oh I know some femi-nazi’s will be outraged but I like them, the clubs and the gentlemen, not the femi-nazi’s. Now then, I am moving onto nightspots now and I just need to find a way to get myself into Annabel’s and the Groucho Club now, any tips? :)
Courtesan
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Posted in England, Famous Courtesans, London Courtesan (all), London Life, The Client, london, london escort, men | No Comments »
Monday, July 19th, 2010
Well that was the title of the piece, but dont be too sure ;) I have another post about Catherine Walters but I liked this one too. Now I reside in London, I shall have to pay a visit to the past residences of these wonderful ladies. I think the assumption of the demise of the Courtesan is because of modern society’s looser morals, media intrusion and the reduction of power of the aristocracy. Powerful men still and will always exisit and one could argue that they are the new aristocracy. Like I say, dont be too sure about the demise of the Courtesan, the most discreet of ladies may still enjoy the same status even though they dont necessarily bed royalty, may I be so bold?
English prostitutes probably suffered most in the nineteenth century, which not only criminalised them but also patronised them. Earlier centuries accepted the role of the honest whore with more equanimity. In the nineteeth century only one sort of ‘lady’ could live within the vague bounds of of respectability – the sort who slept with kings and princes. If the king insisited that his mistress be allowed to accompany him to country houses, the theatre and other social engagements then everyone had to be polite to her. Lower down the social scale a mistress would be completely ostracised in a society that expected respectable women to be so delicate that it was as much as they could do to lie on a sofa all day long complaining about headaches.
But in the thick of all this hypocrisy we can still espy the mighty creature that is Catherine Walters (1839-1920), tales of whose extraordinary exploits filled the air of Victorian and Edwardian London . Mrs Walters – whose nickname was Skittles – is also proof that the power of personality can overcome almost any obstacle.
She was known as Skittle for reasons no one can now discover – it may have been that she started work in Skittle Alley, Liverpool, but she was a great beauty in her youth as well as being part of a line of professional courtesans stretching back to Nell Gwynn and beyond.
What is most remarkable about Skittles is that she lived through an age which was probably the most moralistic – even if hypocritically s0 – in British history. The Victorian obsession with purity and chastity except within marriage combined with the absolute rule of respectability meant that any middle – or working-class woman suspected of sexual irregularity (as the Victorian newspapers might have put it) would be shunned by everyone, but as always there was one rule for the majority and an entitirely different rule for the elite.
Because Mrs Walters was the paid mistress of a number of members of the aristocracy and royalty she had to be received into society if her various partners insisted on it. But even without aristocratic patronage the decidedly eccentric Skittles would have arrived anyway. She was in many respects immune to the rules that applied to most people simply because she did not give a fig about them. She was the mistress of the Duke of Devonshire and the Marquis of Hartington among others and insisted on the finest clothes and carriages – finer even it was said than the wives of her lovers. Stories about her are legion. She loved horses and hunting and once when out with the Quorn in Leicestershire she had caught up with leaders of the field throughout. The master of hounds ventured to compliment her on the fine flushed colour of her cheeks. ‘That’s nothing’ she replied ‘You should see the colour of my ruddy arse!’
She reached the height of her fame in 1861 when any rumour that she might be driving in the park on a Sunday would lead to huge crowds assembling to catch a glimpse of her. She lived for many years at No 15 South Street, Mayfair – the house is still there – and in old age was pushed in her wheelchair through Hyde Park by none other than Lord Kitchener.
I love the sound of Ms Walters, what a gal. It reminds me a lot of the other ladies I know in this business; gutsy, honest, clever, witty and fun. Ladies, I salute you x
English Courtesan
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Friday, July 16th, 2010
Yes we are still on the stangest tales of London :)
Dr James Graham was a genuine doctor, but at a time when all genuine doctors were by modern standards complete frauds – the evidence for this can be seen in the fact that, for example the Edinburgh medical textbook of 1750 listed under ‘valuable remedies’ the following: horse dung, pig skulls, frogspawn, ants’ eggs and ground-up human skulls.
But Dr Graham, although interested in medicine, was far more interested in money, which is why when he left his native Edinburgh for London in around 1774 he set up his surgery in the most fashionable part of town at the time – St James.
By 1779 he had realised that an important medical affliction was not at that time being addressed by any medical practitioner. Dr Graham decided that he would corner the market in cures for infertility. He set his Temple of the Hymen in Pall Mall and took large expensive advertisements in the London newspapers. In these he made outlandish claims for the extrardinary benefits of what he called his ‘Cellestial bed’ The idea was that infertile couples would seek out the doctor, ask his advice and then be directed to his own certain cure: the Celestial Bed. Not only would the bed cure infertility – it would also ensure that any children conceived on it were far stronger and more beautiful ‘in mental as well as in bodily endowments than the present puny race of Christians’.
The bed could only be rented and couples paid exorbitant sums for the privilege – perhaps as much as £100 per session (around £12000 today).
Graham claimed that while an infertile couple had sex on his bed he would activate a mechanism that would surround the happy couple with ‘celestial fire’ and ‘cherishing vapours’. He would also pump through glass tubes the very same perfumes used by the Turkish Sultan to guarantee that he could keep up with the demands of his enormous harem.
Despite the bed’s mattress being made from the baked tails of sexually rapacious English stallions, history does not record the levels of statisfaction enjoyed by Dr Graham’s customers, but we do know that within a few years of the advertisments appearing, the good doctor vanished from the London scene.
Im not quite sure about the correlation between viagra and infertility, apart from the obvious; but its a great story and one I wanted to share. I get asked about viagra – a lot. My opinion is that it is a fantastic little pill and definitely does work. However, like must drugs, it has serious side effects and I would urge my fellas NOT to purchase anything of this nature from sources on the internet. Please go and see your GP. They know your history and can do a quick health check (blood pressure is the key factor here) to make sure all is ok.
Now then, I am off to find some celestial fire, cherishing vapours, and let me see, what else is on my list? Oh yes the baked tails of sexually rapacious stallions, do you think Waitrose will have them?
High Class London Escort
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Posted in England, Erotica, Just Sauciness, London Courtesan (all), london | No Comments »
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
The history of political scandal in Britain is the history of sexual intrigue. What a man wont do for patriotic or even financial reasons he will often do for his mistress and that simple fact explains a very odd historical cirumstance concerning one of London’s most famous streets.
Pall Mall, that street which runs from St James’s Palace to Trafalgar Square , is also one of the most historic in London. Today, the area is almost entirely offices and clubs, but it was once one of London’s most fashionable addresses and through the bizarre workings of royal patronage and favour it contains a unique building – Number 79. This is the only building not owned by the Crown. And the reason? The original house on the site is long gone, but it was once owned by Charles II’s favourite mistress, Nell Gwynn.
When Charles offered her a house near his own home – St James’s Palace, he discovered that No 79 was free and he simply gave her a long lease and thought no more of it. However, the gift of the lease did not make Ms Gwynn happy . She refused to move into No 79 on the grounds as she apparently put it, that ‘she had always conveyed free under the crown and always would’. In other words unless she had the freehold, the deal – and probably much more besides - was off.
Charles knew when he was beaten and arranged to have the freehold given to Nell. When she died, her son the Duke of St Albans inherited the freehold and it was sold later to pay off his debts. its freehold has been bought and sold ever since and never returned to the Crown.
English Courtesan
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Thursday, July 1st, 2010
Mr x popped up from the southwest again recently. Its always a pleasure to see Mr x :) Mr x likes his cup of tea after, well after some slap and tickle, if I may be so bold?
Whilst enjoying his Earl Grey, we got to talking about afternoon teas. ‘Oh do you think I should put that as a option on my website Mr x?’ says I ‘Do you know, you may have something there’ says he ‘You can offer tea and you are definitely the crumpet’ Hehehe, Well done Mr x!, I shall put it on :)
‘I am very proud of you darling‘ said Mr x, ‘‘Taking the leap, moving up here and taking London on’ Maybe thats my audacious side coming to the fore though ;) – thats an in-joke by the way hahaha. London seems to like me well enough and he is a gem Mr x, a total gem.
So tea and crumpet anyone?…
I can offer an afternoon tea as good as the Ritz; delicate sandwiches, cakes, scones and crumpet afterwards, that will be me :) A selection of teas; Earl Grey, Traditonal English tea, Darjeeling, even some fruit teas if that is your thing?. Just tell me what you like and I will get it. If tea is not your thing (I personally dont drink tea or coffee), well we can always fall back on the old favourite, champagne! I need a week’s notice and a deposit for this chaps;
More details here. Traditional English Afternoon Tea.
See you very soon!
High Class London Escort
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Posted in England, Gourmet & Tipples, London Courtesan (all), London Life, The Client, The Courtesan/Escort, london, london escort | No Comments »
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
I never ( never, ever) watch it, football, that is. Well, only if England are playing in the world cup, which they are and I did. Three things I should stress here.
1. I am no football expert (obviously) and
2. I dislike people knocking others for the sake of it.
3. I may have an opinon or two, here or there :)
Good, we have that established.
Now these guys, in the England team, bless their hearts. These wee mites who get paid tens of thousands of pounds a week. What???
We played against the US the other day. Walk in the park, me with my years of football wisdom predicted 4-0.
I had a nice chap email me from the US saying that the US had beaten us and had I watched it? Scoundrel! I was obviously outraged! The US beat England, at football?, dont be bloody ridiculous, hell would freeze over first – wouldnt it? They only started playing the game like, last week! Their fans obviously dont even know the difference between a win or a draw fer chrissakes; oh the shame.
I courteously told him he was a very naughty fella spreading such vicious and hurtful rumours and that they, the US were lucky to get a draw. Yes indeed.
Our team though, I want to be supportive ( I so do!!) but what a joke. Really. Are they worth that money, do you think? I understand that their career is limited but they can always be commentators (remind me to tell you the commentator’s joke when we meet :) afterwards, if they can talk coherently that is – Lineker springs to mind or they can go and get p****d like Gascoigne. The choice, as they say, is theirs.
Do I sound like one of these silly boys on forums abusing people who pay more than £100 for a pleasurable time with a lady? - if so, shoot me now.
I read somewhere, that someone said ‘Why do you English think that you have a God given right to win at football?’
What!!! Actually, he has a point you know, especially where I am concerned. I was brought up to believe that the English football team were the greatest in the world. I was also brought up to believe that the English Rugby Team were the greatest in the world, not to mention Cricket. Can you begin to imagine the disappointment if we dont dominate every sporting fixture, bloody hell – we invented most of them.
In fact I was brought up to believe that England is a wonderful nation and a beautiful place to live, the best in the world – just like other people do about their countries; thanks Dad. It has only taken me 37 years to understand that this is true. Yes. But then it was indoctrinated into me afterwards that we were evil and that we had pillaged the world, us English. Hmm. Now, here’s the thing. You know that I have travelled a lot, yes? Not just touristy things, real get down and dirty travelling.
Well, I have discovered, surprise, surprise, that all creeds, colours, nations and religions; in essence all human beings are capable of bad things – as nations or individuals. Likewise all people are capable of wonderful things too, thats what we have to remember.
I just wish the English football team could be capable of wonderful things, this year, what do you think fellas? – hey ho – good luck guys but I dont think I can watch anymore – am I a lightweight?
London Companion
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